Cosmo Canyon
(Server WEAPON is still on a rampage, but Erg has regained consciousness. Having fired its Stack Overflow Ray at RPGamer, the Sever WEAPON now turns its attention towards Cosmo Canyon...)
Erg: What are we going to do? ^_^
PaRappa: I know! We gotta believe!
(suddenly, the janitor who looks like Hitler wanders up)
Erg: You! You were the one who was behind that Nazi plot to take over Cosmo Canyon! ^_^
(meanwhile, Server WEAPON crushes the old warehouse where the defunct editorial section is kept)
Erg: There goes the neighborhood ^_^.
(a bunch of people from RPGFFSMB run in and start celebrating)
Kusader: It's gone! It's gone!
Janitor (to Erg): I have a plan. Come with me.
(the janitor leads Erg and PaRappa to the Cosmo Canyon mailroom. A sign over the door reads "Abandon hope of reply ye all who send letters here".)

Rodney State
(the Anti-Glick is riding in a black limousine towards Central Park, accompanied about several hitmen)
Anti-Glick: You're not getting away this time, Glick...

Cosmo Canyon Mailroom
(inside the mailroom, Travis and the Mailbag staff are sorting through the mail)
Travis: Helraios password... Helraios password... Helraios password... Geocities hate mail... Helraios password...
Grom Hellscream: Feeeeeeellliiiiinnnnngssss!
Erg: What's your plan? ^_^
Janitor: I have this.
(the janitor holds up a bag of Erg's unanswered mail. It's about as big as he is)
Janitor: First you will bludgeon Server WEAPON unconscious with this. Then...
(the janitor holds up a bag labelled "Chocolate & Brain Virtue's Mailbag". It's empty)
Janitor: ...you'll capture it in here.
PaRappa: Ok, sounds cool.
Hanpan: All right, let's go open up a can of whoop-ass.
(suddenly, Server WEAPON bashes through the side of the mailroom)
Erg: Oh no, here it is! ^_^
(Server WEAPON uses its 404 Void attack and sucks Travis into a black hole)
Travis: Aaaaaaaah!

Central Park
(the limousine screeches to a stop. The Anti-Glick and the hitmen jump out)
Anti-Glick: All right, Glick, I've got you now.
(silence. The Anti-Glick looks around and sees nothing but rubble and a business card that reads "Al Dunlap was here")
Anti-Glick: Come out and fight, Glick. You can't hide forever.
(silence)
Anti-Glick: Glick? Where are you, Glick?

Low-Earth Orbit
(Brian Glick, Brian Maniscalco, Andrew Vestal, Andrew Kaufman, Allen Michigan, Jay Boor, Bill Paris, and the ThrillKill characters are all playing cards)
AV: Got any threes, Allen?
Allen: Go fish.
(suddenly, a black hole opens up and Travis falls out)
Jay: Man, it's getting crowded up here.

Cosmo Canyon
Erg: Oh no! It got Travis! ^_^
Janitor: Quickly, while it's distracted! Use the bag! And stop putting those stupid smiley faces after everything you say!
(Erg swings the mailbag at the Server WEAPON and knocks it out)
Cait Sith: We did it!
Hanpan: Shut up, Cait, you didn't a damn thing.

Cape Canaveral
(the Anti-Glick and his hitmen are standing on the launchpad of the Atlantis space shuttle)
Anti-Glick: Low-earth orbit, eh? You're not getting away that easily.
(suddenly, two babies and a chimpanzee smoking a cigar, all of whom are carrying uzis, jump down off a rooftop)
Anti-Glick: Oh no! It's the Rubber Pants Commandos!
(the babies chase the hitmen off)
Sergeant Blip (the chimp): You're under arrest, Anti-Glick.

Cosmo Canyon
(the gang is cleaning up after Server WEAPON's attack)
Erg: But the question is, who summoned the Server Weapon?
Cait Sith: It is?
Hanpan: Shut up, Cait.
Voice: Darn it, look up here, feces head!
(the gang looks up. S**tan is standing on the roof of Bugenhagen's observatory)
Hanpan: Shitan!? Why?
S**tan: What the inferno do you think you're doing, saying feces like "Reis can't equip weapons?"
Erg: Okay, okay, I was wrong, I made a mistake ^_^.
S**tan: No! You have urinated me off! Prepare to "swoon", darn it!
(S**tan raises a Summon Materia. The ACLU suddenly appears)
S**tan: He censored me! (points at Erg)
Erg: No I didn't! That was the Auto-Ce -
(the ACLU rushes towards Erg)
(meanwhile, the RPGFFSMB people are still partying in the ruins of the editorial section)
Kusader: Hey, who took my Summon ACLU materia?
(some random RPGFFSMB person points at S**tan)
Kusader: Hey, give it back, you jerk!
S**tan: You spoony bard! It's mine now.
Kusader: Let's roshambo for it! First I kick you in the nuts as hard as I can, then you kick me in the nuts as hard as you can. And we keep going back and forth until somebody falls. The last one standing gets the materia.
S**tan: Okay. (kicks Kusader, knocking him over) Oops, I win.
J. Parish: Go! BI-JOVE!
(J. Parish throws the Toké Ball and BI-JOVE comes out)
(BI-JOVE uses THUNDERBOLT. It's super effective!)
(S**tan fainted)

Gongaga Town
(Erg and PaRappa run into town and collapse, exhausted)
PaRappa: C'mon... we've got... to... keep... going... ACLU'll be here... any minute...
(Erg and PaRappa get up just as the ACLU runs into town)
Erg: I surrender! (throws up his hands)
(suddenly, Joe Chin's car drives up and parks between Erg and the ACLU)
(the ACLU tries to run around it, but the car goes on for several blocks)
(Joe Chin gets out of the car)
Joe Chin: Never fear, because Joe Chin is here! I have travelled the Seven Seas, climbed every mountain known to man, and know the powers that I have are enough to take down jerks like you. Now I shall put on my magic gloves of glory and take you on a cruise to destroy you all! Let me tell you of this incident in a coffee shop and...
(while Joe is talking, Erg and PaRappa get in his car and drive off)

And thus concludes Season One of the PaRappa Files. Look for Xenogears Solid, PaRappa's investigation of videogames.com, and a crisis in low-Earth orbit, among others, in Season Two. And once again, no offense is intended to any people, places, or sites mentioned or used in the PaRappa Files. The Rubber Pants Commandos appear courtesy of Sam & Max.

Next episode: Cosmo Canyon's Birthday