Somewhere under the desert...
"Experiment 23-801," a scientist dictated to his assistant while preparing his upcoming experiment. "Fusion of chrysm and materia under intense heat. Will confirm that the unstable reaction generated can cause distortion of reality and substitution of objects with similar ones."
The scientest checked on the chrysm and materia samples one last time, then threw the main control lever.
* * *
"This is starting to become a major pain in the butt," Jane said, waking up with yet another throbbing headache. "My insurance company is going to hate me for this." This time, the group was riding in a large covered wagon down a grassy road.
Ryu was counting on his finger. "Let's see... I've now by knocked unconscious by those guys... seven times."
"Ouch," Jack said succinctly.
"Hey, I recognize this place," Momo said suddenly. "This is Eygnock Road, outside Wyndia. Man, we must have been out for quite a while."
Sten walked out to the front of the wagon, where Balio and Sunder were sitting. "What happened to the extreme sports?" he asked.
Balio looked up. "We got special plans for you," he said. "You're going to be test subjects for some experiments. Like this." Balio pulled a device resembling a remote control out of his pocket, pointed it at Sten, and pressed a button. There was a loud popping sound and Sten was thrown onto his back. As he fell, he transformed, losing his clothing and growing a larger head.
The transformed Sten wobbled back into the wagon, blowing a bubble of gum. "What happened to you?" Gary asked. "Are you all right?"
Sten squeaked in response and blew another bubble.
"Mumble mumble Bubble Monkey mumble Earthbound mumble," Kenichi muttered.
"Huh?"
"I think he's trying to tell us that Sten's turned into the Bubble Monkey from Earthbound," Hanpan translated.
"How did they do that?" Ryu demanded.
The Bubble Monkey squeaked and pointed urgently at the rear of the wagon. "Oh, great, now we have another Kenichi," Jack said.
"Doesn't this just beat all?" Rei said.
"I think I have a plan," Mogu said. "We should be safe in Wyndia, right?"
"Well, except for the fact that we're still wanted criminals, yeah," Rei said.
Mogu pointed at the fabric on the back of the wagon. "This stuff is really flimsy. I could tear right through it with my claws, and quietly too. If we head backwards, they won't even notice we're gone right away."
"Well?" Rudy said. "What do you guys think?"
"Sounds like a plan to me," Momo said.
"It is a plan," Jane corrected.
Mogu crouched down in the back of the van and slipped his right claw through the fabric. He slowly slid it up around in an arc, creating a loose flap. Mogu lowered the flap down and wriggled out through the hole. The others followed him.
"Mumble mumble," Kenichi muttered.
While the wagon continued to roll down the road, the party slipped away back the way they had come towards Wyndia City. To their surprise, Balio and Sunder did not even notice they were gone -- at least not until the wagon had already disappeared from sight.
"Okay, you've got the great eyes; are they coming after us?" Jack asked Hanpan when they arrived at the gates of the city.
"Yup," Hanpan said. "They've turned the wagon around and they're coming back down the road."
"Well, what do you think?" Mogu asked the rest of the group. "Do we try to get the army after them or just hide?"
Bubble Monkey-Sten squeaked and held up two fingers, indicating he wanted the second choice. "If the Queen still has a grudge with us, it might be best to just hide," Ryu agreed.
"C'mon, let's ask the hide-and-seek kids," Momo said. "They probably have a good place to hide."
Knowing that Balio and Sunder were quickly catching up with them, the party went straight to the hide-and-seek kids' usual hangout spot. As expected, Bais, Wynn, Lee, and Lang were all lounging around by the fountain.
"Hey, guys," Ryu said. "We need a place to hide. Any suggestions?"
"Sure, just go up past the shops and hide behind the next house, where the doghouse is. There's a little corner back there," Bais replied. "I'll show you."
Bais ran to the steps and darted up them, accompanied by the rest of his gang. He led the party around behind a red-roofed house to a small corner nestled in between the house and the walls of the next tier of the city.
The party sat down to wait, ready to run if Balio and Sunder showed up. Jack became acutely aware of a loud clicking sound from nearby. "What's that sound?" he asked nervously.
"It's the demon meter," Cecilia whispered. "It looks like we're real close." Just then, the counter erupted into a series of violent beeps.
Rudy looked around to see if he could spot the suspect. The only person nearby was a man walking by on the upper tier. He was wearing a blue coat and pants, and had long black hair. "Him?" Rudy said quietly.
"That's the guy we dug up!" Mogu hissed. "The one who went berserk!"
"But he looks totally normal," Rudy protested.
"No he's not! He has all the stuff from the Techno Age and he can shoot lasers out his eyes!"
Honey squirmed out of Momo's robe and stared trancelike at the Geiger counter, which was still beeping madly. She started to wobble back and forth from one foot to the other. "Er, I think your beeper there is doing something to Honey," Momo said. "It's scrambling her circuits."
Honey spun around twice and stumbled, almost falling over. She righted herself and opened a cavity in her chest, revealing a small turret. The turret fired a green beam out at Bais and his cohorts. They were bathed briefly in light, then started to shrink down until they were no more than a foot tall.
"Oh no!" Momo exclaimed. "Honey shrunk the kids!"
"Sssh!" Ryu cautioned, but it was too late. Seconds later, Balio and Sunder charged over the upper tier towards them, Balio carrying the remote control that had turned Sten into the Bubble Monkey.
The party bolted from the hiding spot, leaving the shrunken kids behind. Sunder grabbed one of the chrysm lights off the top of a nearby lamppost and hurled it at the party. It struck Kenichi and erupted into flames, incinerating him. "Oh my God, they killed Kenichi!" Jane exclaimed. "You bastards!"
Gary turned and loosed an arrow over his shoulder at Sunder. Sten, as the Bubble Monkey, started to blow a huge bubble of chewing gum. As the bubble grew in size, Sten started to rise off the ground. He motioned with a chirp for the others to grab on. Mogu seized held of Sten's leg, and was also lifted up. Rudy grabbed onto Mogu, and the whole party started forming a chain dangling from the gum balloon.
"What do we do now, bro?" Sunder asked Balio.
"I don't know," Balio admitted. "I've never seen anything like this before."
The chain of people floated over the city towards the castle, eliciting many amazed stares from citizens below. Rei, on the bottom, clung tightly to Ryu's leg and tried not to look down. Suddenly, he realized that they were over the ledge outside Nina's room. He slid down onto the ledge, then helped Ryu down. The chain dissolved onto the ledge, ending when Sten landed on the ledge and popped his gum back into his mouth.
Ryu knocked on the door into Nina's room. "Nina? It's me, Ryu. We need help -- Balio and Sunder are back."
The door opened, but the person who stepped out was not Nina, or at least not the Nina that Ryu knew. Instead, it was Nina Williams from Tekken. "Who are you?" Nina Williams said.
"Uh... Nina?"
"Anna sent you, didn't she? Well, take this." Nina fired another one of the remote control-like devices at Rei. There was a zapping sound and Rei transformed into...
"What have you done to me?" Rei gasped.
Ryu yelled and flashed into a spark. A black lightning bolt shot down from the sky and formed into a black dome around Ryu. Nina Williams quickly fired her remote-like device at Ryu. There was another zapping sound, but its effect was not evident until the dome vanished.
Ryu had not turned into a dragon; he had turned into Gon. Gon-Ryu lunged towards Nina, breathing out fire. Nina turned and fled into her room, chased by Gon. She ran down into the throne room. Gon waddled down the steps after her. Nina ran outside the castle and looked around for an escape route. She started climbing up the wall of the castle, and Gon followed her.
Nina arrived back on the ledge outside her room, and Gon scrambled up a moment later. Gon-Ryu lunged towards Nina, breathing out fire. Nina turned and fled into her room, chased by Gon. She ran down into the throne room. Gon waddled down the steps after her. Nina ran outside the castle and looked around for an escape route. She started climbing up the wall of the castle, and Gon followed her.
Nina arrived back on the ledge outside her room, and Gon scrambled up a moment later. Gon-Ryu lunged towards Nina, breathing out fire. Nina turned and fled into her room, chased by Gon. She ran down into the throne room. Gon waddled down the steps after her. Nina ran outside the castle and looked around for an escape route. She started climbing up the wall of the castle, and Gon followed her.
Nina arrived back on the ledge outside her room, and Gon scrambled up a moment later. Gon-Ryu lunged towards Nina, breathing out fire. Nina turned and fled into her room, chased by Gon. She ran down into the throne room. Gon waddled down the steps after her. Nina ran outside the castle and looked around for an escape route. She started climbing up the wall of the castle, and Gon followed her.
"This is going to go on forever," Hanpan said. "Somebody do something."
Just as he spoke those words, there was yet another zapping sound, and Mogu was transformed into a diminuitive mole into a giant brown bear wearing a red kerchief. Balio and Sunder stepped out of Nina's room and onto the ledge. "We just did," Balio sneered.
"Hey, it's Mr. Ed," Rei joked.
"Dammit, that's not funny," Sunder said.
Balio started clicking the device rapidly, pointing at random targets. Jack was turned into a humanoid robot with a gun for one arm, Gary was turned into Eddy Gordo, and Rudy became Mokujin.
"Hey, I do not resemble a block of wood," Rudy protested.
"So you say," Hanpan said.
Gon and Nina charged by on yet another lap of their endless chase. While the horses' attention was diverted, Kuma-Mogu rushed towards Balio and smacked him with his paw, sending Balio flying. The zapper device slipped out of his hand and fell onto the ledge. Eddy-Gary danced over and picked it up.
"Hey, gimme that," Balio said, grabbing for the device. Eddy did a handstand and kicked Balio in the face, then danced away.
"Oh, so you want to play hardball, huh? Stallion Metamorphosis!" Balio and Sunder started to glow and merged together. Eddy quickly fired the clicker at them. When the transformation ended, Balio and Sunder had become a blue-haired elf.
"Huh?" Stallion said. "This isn't supposed to happen!"
Kuma-Mogu lunged at Stallion and gave him a shove. Stallion stumbled backwards, and tripped over Gon, who was running by his feet. With a despairing cry, Stallion tumbled off the ledge and plummeted towards the ground below. Kuma grunted, stood up on his hind legs, and danced around in a circle, paws raised.
"Good riddance to bad rubble... again," Rei said. "Now if only I could get my normal body back."
"Let me see that," Jane said, taking the controller from Eddy. She flicked a switch marked "Reverse" and then fired it at Rei. There was the traditional zapping sound, but this time Rei was thrown back into his normal body. Jane then reverted the rest of the transformed party members, and Gon and Nina when they ran by again. Nina returned to her normal self, and Ryu turned into a guy wearing a white gi and a headband.
"Shoryuken!" Ryu exclaimed, doing an uppercut in the air. Jane zapped him again and turned him back into his normal blue-haired form.
"What am I doing up here?" Nina asked. "The last thing I remember was Balio and Sunder charging into the castle... wait, Balio and Sunder are dead."
"They came back to life," Momo explained. "We don't know how."
Sten looked down off the ledge. "Not for long, though. Hee hee hee."
"You know, that whole criminal organization of theirs is making a comeback," Nina mused. "We're trying to get them on charges of chrysm smuggling."
"They're into chrysm now?" Momo asked.
"Yeah," Nina said. "That's all their doing, in fact. We think somebody's pulling their strings."
"Great," Hanpan groaned. "If it's not one thing, it's another."
Nina stared at Hanpan. "Hey," she said. "That's a really cute pet you've got there. Can I hold him?"
| Next chapter: I Left My Heart in Caer Xhan |