Chapter 5: I Left My Heart in Caer Xhan

A strong wind blew through the forest as the party made their way towards the Yggdrasil tree in Eastern Wyndia. Their numbers were reduced -- Kenichi was dead, and Gary had gone to Rhapala to seek employment. The remaining members walked in silence, still shaken by the event that had transpired a half-hour ago.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," Jack said to the wind rat riding on his shoulder.

"My honor was at stake," Hanpan replied stuffily.

"But the biting part -"

"Would you like it if somebody said you were a really cute pet?" Hanpan said.

"I just thought hanging somebody from a tree by their wings is a little mean," Jack said.

Hanpan did not reply. He crawled down Jack's coat and squeezed inside one of the pockets, sulking.

"Vicious little fellow," Momo said to Jack.

"He hates being called a pet," Jack explained.

"I'm not a damn pet," Hanpan's muffled voice came out of Jack's coat pocket.

They dropped back into silence until they reached their destination, the giant Yggdrasil tree, standing alone in a clearing. As the party approached, they heard a frightened "Wheeeeep?" from behind the tree.

Something walked out from behind the tree. What, exactly, it was was unclear. Its head was that of Peco the onion, but it was wearing a blue karate gi and had arms and legs, features Peco lacked. "Pukyu, pukyu, pusyu puddy pukyu waah," it sang.

"He's rapping," Rei observed.

"Pukyu puddy pusyu, pukyu pukyu!" Chop-Chop Master Peco rapped.

"En ingles, por favor," Jane said.

"He always talks like that," Momo explained. "But the rapping and the body are new."

Rei scratched his head. "Doesn't this just beat all?"

"Wheeeep!" Chop-Chop Master Peco exclaimed.

"Maybe he got transformed," Mogu suggested. "Try the clicker on him."

Jane pointed the transformer at Peco and pressed the button. Peco was zapped back into his normal, arm-less, onion form. "Pukyupukyu," he said, and went to sleep.

"Hey! Don't go to sleep! We need you to talk to Yggdrasil!" Rei shouted. He grabbed the little onion and shook him awake.

"Puddy!" Peco squeaked.

"Talking vegetables," Jane said, shaking her head. "I keep thinking I've seen it all, but no..."

"We need to talk to the Yggdrasil," Momo said, enunicating each word. Whether or not Peco understood her, he seemed to know what he needed to do and bounced over to the tree.

A voice began speaking in their heads. You wish to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop? it said. I am not allowed to speak of such things.

"Actually, we were wondering who's behind 'the organization'," Rei said.

My bad, the Yggdrasil said. I do not know the answer, but there is one who does. You must speak with the last of the Dark Dragon Clan.

"You mean Teepo?" Ryu said. "But he's in a coma."

"Well, doesn't this just beat all?" Rei remarked. "What are we going to do now?"

"I know!" the other characters all chorused. "We gotta believe!"

His delirium is not of natural cause. You must enter his dream with the aid of the Bolster from Tunlan and cure him.

"Tunlan? Never heard of it," Momo said.

"It's out in the middle of the ocean, on a little island," Mogu said.

I shall make arrangements. Now go. Cid Wars: The Animated Series is on in ten minutes.

"Wheeeeeep!"

* * *

"I don't see anything," Rudy said, staring out across the ocean. There were many seagulls, and an occasional leaping fish, but no sign of the promised transport.

Then he saw the fin. It jutted out of the water ominously, cutting back and forth as its owner zig-zagged towards the shore. Then, with a splash of water, a bright pink dolphin broke the surface. "G'day," it greeted them. "Oh, no. Not you blokes."

"It's the dolphin!" Momo exclaimed.

"This is all I need," the dolphin muttered. "First I get bloody trees talkin' to me, and now you have to show up. I've really come a gutzer."

"You're our transportation?" Cecilia said skeptically.

"Buckley's," the dolphin muttered, disagreeing.

"You want me to whack you another one?" Ryu reached for his sword.

"All right, all right, I get the message. You can cut the earbash. Hop on, mate."

They climbed on board the dolphin -- a tight squeeze for the large group -- and were off. "Where's your mob going?" the dolphin asked.

"Tunlan," Mogu said. "You know where it is?"

"Yeah," the dolphin said. "Bring some peanuts or lollies; it'll take a while. Careful you don't chunder, though."

"Five discs deep," Jane agreed. "We're gonna be gone for a long time."

* * *

"All right, mates, 'ere we are," the dolphin announced some time later as they arrived on the island of Tunlan. "Now bugger off."

The party disembarked and set foot inside Tunlan. The multi-tiered city was built on one large pyramid and decorated with waterfalls and palm trees. Strangely, the entire place was all blue.

Mogu turned to the rest of the party. "They communicate with music here," he explained. "Fortunately, I brought my kazoo, so that won't be a problem."

Hanpan gave Mogu a skeptical squint. "Your kazoo?"

"He's good," Sten advised. "He's real good."

"Why is this place all blue?" Jack said. With the exception of a few scattered spots, all of Tunlan -- the streets, buildings, grass, and even the trees -- had all been painted in varying shades of blue.

Mogu shrugged. "I'll ask," he said. He approached a villager shambling around in a blue hood and cloak and blew a brief greeting on his kazoo.

"Blue... blue... blue..." the villager mumbled.

Mogu tried again, but the villager ignored him. "Excuse me," the mole said, trying normal speech.

"Blue... blue... blue..."

Mogu shrugged in the direction of the party. They jogged up to where the mole was. "I take it they're not normally this way," Elmina said. Mogu nodded.

"Well, doesn't this just beat all?" Rei said.

Jean the frog strolled out of one of the houses. He looked the same as always, chubby and clueless. "Hullo, Sten," he greeted. "Hullo, Mogu."

"Oh no, it's Jean," Sten whispered.

Another robed cultist stumbled by, mumbling "Blue... blue... blue..."

"What is wrong with this place?" Ryu asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Jean said cheerfully. "I haven't been paying attention."

"Does this surprise us?" Sten muttered.

"I do have a new song, though," Jean said. "It goes 'Blue, blue, blue, blue.'"

"That's it?" Jane said. "That's a song?"

Jean appeared thoughtful. "It needs a little more," he agreed. "I need to add another color in somewhere. Oh, Manillo's around, if you want to talk to him." Jean wandered off, staring vacantly at the sky.

"Yes, folks, ignorance is bliss," Sten said.

After some searching around town and pushing by blue-robed cultists, the gang eventually located Manillo. The fish merchant was running a shop in the Tunlan bazaar, accompanied by another, blue, fish.

"Hey, Manillo," Mogu said.

"Yo," Manillo greeted his former adventuring companion.

"What's going ON in this town?" Jane asked.

"It's a cult," Manillo explained. "The Happy Happy Cult. They think they can make the world happy if they paint everything blue."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in my entire life," Hanpan said.

"I thought you said carbonation soccer was the most ridiculous you'd heard in your entire life," Jane pointed out.

"Yeah, Hanpan, how about telling the truth sometimes?" Sten joined in.

Hanpan gave Jane a flat stare. "Don't be so anal-retentive," he said, turning away.

"Oh yeah? Who's the one who knows pi to the 500th digit?"

"Hey-hey, guys," Manillo cut in. "Take it easy, okay? You don't want to miss this great bargain." He reached into his bag and yanked out a small purple bottle. "This's the Dragon Warp. I bet you've been looking for this, huh?"

"I thought it didn't exist," Mogu said.

"Must be a holdover from the Angol Fred days," Cecilia guessed.

"I'll let you have it at the bargain price of only 800,000 zenny," Manillo said. "That, or you can trade me two whales, a great white shark, and three jars full of plankton."

Mogu held out his paws pleadingly. "Aw, come on, Manillo, I'm your pal."

"Business is business," Manillo said firmly. "Show me the money."

The bottle started to shake in Manillo's hand. It slipped from his grasp and shattered on the floor. A purple smoke rose out, in which a shimmering portal appeared. A small creature leaped out. It was small, round, and pink, possessing legs, but no arms. Attached to its huge nose were some whiskers, and on top of its head it had a single hair with a red bow in it.

"Hey!" Manillo shouted at the creature. "Look what you just did! Do you know how hard that was to get? It's one of a kind! Who do you think you are?"

The creature looked up at Manillo. "I Mr. Saturn," it said. "Coming I to destroy the evil Mani Mani Statue, I am. Boing!" Mr. Saturn scurried out of the room.

Manillo was just about to run after him when another identical creature jumped out. "Oh, no," Manillo said. "Another one."

This creature nodded in Manillo's direction. "Hello," it said. "I Mr. Saturn. Destroy Mani Mani Statue will I, you come?"

"You can't be Mr. Saturn," Manillo said. "The other guy was Mr. Saturn."

"We all Mr. Saturn," Mr. Saturn said, then ran out of the room to catch up with the other Mr. Saturn.

"This is exceedingly weird," Momo observed.

It was only the beginning. Mr. Saturns started to pour out of the portal at an alarming rate. Soon a posse of about thirty of them had gathered in Manillo's shop. "Dakota!" one shouted, and they all ran out of the room.

"What... the... hell..." Manillo said. He turned to his apprentice. "Come on, Wedge, let's go get those little guys." Wedge grabbed a crowbar and Manillo his spear, and the two ran out of the bazaar in pursuit of the Mr. Saturns.

"Now what do we do?" Rudy asked.

"Why let them have all the fun?" Jack said. "Let's bust some heads!" He ran out of the bazaar with his sword drawn.

"I don't believe this," Hanpan said from atop Jack's shoulder.

"Is it the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard in your entire life?"

"Shut up, Jane."

The party chased after Manillo and Wedge, who in turn were chasing the Mr. Saturns up the main stairs of Tunlan. Their pursuit lead them to the palace at the top of the city, and inside. The interior of the palace, like everything else in Tunlan, was painted blue.

Rudy and company pushed their way past the Happy Happy Cultists to the stairs, which Manillo was just disappearing up. They ran up and found themselves in the throne room, which, none too surprisingly, was all blue. Blue, except for the glowing gold statue in the back of the room. The statue was guarded by a bald man in a blue suit with a blue mustache and blue goatee.

"Mr. Carpainter!" one of the Mr. Saturns shouted at the man. "Never get away with this, will you! Boing!"

"Get back, you little pests," Mr. Carpainter said. "I wield the power of lightning!" As an example, he shot a brief jolt of lightning out of his hand and up into the ceiling. At least, that what he was trying to do. Wedge was unfortunately carrying a metal crowbar, and the lightning bolt was drawn to it instead, electrocuting Wedge.

"Oh my God, he killed Wedge!" Manillo exclaimed. "You bastard!"

Jack rushed in and added to the confusion by casting Cosmic Nova randomly. "Who are we fighting?" Rei asked as a Mr. Saturn leaped over his head.

"Who cares?" Jack shrugged.

"Boing! Mr. Carpainter, evil, he is!" a Mr. Saturn shouted as he psychically tied Mr. Carpainter's shoelaces together.

Mr. Carpainter fired off another jolt of lightning, blasting the Mr. Saturn into ashes. "Ouch," Sten commented. "I haven't seen someone hit a Saturn like that since Bernie Stolar."

Mogu leaped at Mr. Carpainter, claws raised above his head. Mr. Carpainter tried to duck out of the way, but tripped due to the fact that his shoes were tied together. Carpainter fell flat on the floor. Mogu sailed right over him and bounced off the wall, dazed.

"I haven't seen a mole take a hit like that since Aldrich Ames," Sten said.

"Shut up, Sten," Rei said, shortly before going into Weretiger mode.

A Mr. Saturn leaped onto the fallen Mr. Carpainter and started jumping up and down on top of him. Suddenly, the golden Mani Mani Statue started glowing and shot a blast of fire at the Mr. Saturn. "DAKOTA!" the Mr. Saturn cried as it was hit.

A bus came barreling up the steps and five musicians hopped out. "It is band! It is Runaway Five!" one of the many Mr. Saturns exclaimed.

"STOP THE INSANITY!" Jane howled.

The Runaway Five started hurling pieces of fruit at Mr. Carpainter and the Mani Mani Statue. A foul smell filled the room. "Oh no! Tendakraut!" Carpainter exclaimed. He fled the room, holding his nose. The Runaway Five hopped back in their van and drove off.

"Destroy the Statue, we must," one of the Mr. Saturns explained to Manillo. "Weapon, having you be. Destroying Statue. You be. Boing!"

"Doesn't this just beat all?" Rei commented.

Momo blasted the Mani Mani Statue with her cannon and blew it into pieces. "Do good well," Mr. Saturn said. "We go now." The horde of Mr. Saturns started to leave, but one saw the dead Wedge and stopped. The Mr. Saturn used its psychic powers to revive Wedge. "You aaaaaaalll fixed up now," it said cheerfully. It then ran to join its companions.

"Ha ha!" Wedge exclaimed. "I'm alive! I actually managed to survive for more than a day! Wait 'til Vicks hears about this!" The fish charged out of the room, tripped coming down the stairs, and fell on his head, killing himself.

"Hey, there's a hole down here," Rudy said. He was crouched in front of the platform where the Mani Mani Statue had been sitting. "Hello?" he shouted into it. "Anybody down there!"

"What happened to Carpainter?" a female voice shouted back.

"We got rid of him, I think," Rudy said.

"Good riddance," the voice said. "He just came into town with the statue of his and started that cult. Then he locked me up down here. I'm the Queen of Tunlan."

Rudy helped the Queen out of the hole. As he did so, a man in a suit fell through the ceiling, oddly making no hole in it. "Say fuzzy pickles!" he exclaimed. Before anybody had a chance to, he snapped a photo of Rudy and the Queen and flew back through the roof.

"This has been completely surreal," Hanpan observed.

"Thank you so much for getting rid of Carpainter," the Queen said. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Money would be nice," Manillo said jovially.

"Actually, we do have a favor to ask..."

* * *

After another ride from the grumbling dolphin, the party -- Rudy, Jack, Cecilia, Elmina, Jane, Rudy, Ryu, Rei, Momo, Mogu, and Sten -- was back in Gramor, ready to enter Teepo's dream with the Bolster.

"Hey, I've got some stuff to take care of in town," Mogu said. "I'll see you guys in a bit." The turban-clad mole scurried off.

"Me too," Sten agreed, running off.

"Should we wait for them?" Cecilia asked the rest of the group.

"We've got work to do," Rei said. "They can catch up later."

"Well, okay..." Rudy shrugged.

The party went to Mogu's house, where Teepo was still in a near-coma. "Uhh... Charlie died when the music stopped..." Teepo mumbled.

Rudy used the Bolster and the party teleported inside Teepo's mind, which from the inside appeared as a misty field of crystal. "That was ambiguous," Hanpan said. "How did you use the Bolster, or was it something that isn't printable?"

"It was something that's the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard," Jane said.

"Will you shut up about that already?"

With a tremendous roar, a huge lobster smashed through the crystal. It stood at least twenty feet in height, and looked like something out of a bad science fiction movie. Perching on its head was a normal-sized orangutan. The orangutan hooted some instructions, and the lobster lumbered towards the party.

"Er... what do we do now?" Rei asked. He hadn't expected something like this to occur. Of course, none of the others had either.

The lobster smashed towards the party. "Run!" Jack yelled. The party took off running in the opposite direction as the lobster.

A light appeared on the horizon. As they approached it, they could make out cars through the fog. The fog started to thin closer to the cars, revealing the place as a drive-in movie theater. Behind them, the lobster started picking up speed and running.

"Quick, in the car!" Jane said.

"Huh?" Momo said, having no knowledge of what a car was.

"Just get in this thing," Jane said. She climbed inside the car and found herself in a fire station that apparently existed inside the car. "O---kaaay," Jane said aloud.

The others stepped into the car and joined her in the fire station. It was already occupied by a large number of firefighters, who were standing around the room and blocking all the exits. Ryu looked back the way they had come, but the exit has disappeared.

"Excuse me," Rudy said to one of the firefighters, who ignored him.

"Let me handle this," Hanpan said. "MOVIE!"

All the firefighters tore of the fire station, apparently looking for the movie. "I don't get it," Cecilia complained.

"You know about saying 'Fire' in a crowded movie theater? Well, I said 'Movie' in a crowded fire station," Hanpan said. "And it seems to have worked."

"Oh."

They left the fire station through a side door. They were back out in the crystal fields, with a basketball court belonging to the fire station nearby. The lobster was nowhere in sight.

"Which way do we go?" Elmina asked.

"This way's as good as any," Jack said. He started walking forward. As soon as he set foot on the basketball court, a steel gate sprung up around it, trapping Jack inside the court and blocking him off from the rest of the party.

"Look out! Above you!" Cecilia said.

Jack looked up just in time to see a basketball hurtling towards his head. Before he could get out of the way, it struck him in the face, and bounced off. Jack recoiled from the impact, lost his balance, and fell down. As he lay on the ground, he could see the ball sail through one of the hoops. "Hey, I made a basket," he said jokingly.

As soon as the ball dropped through the net, the entire basketball court started to shake. It rose out of the ground, throwing dirt and rock inside. Jack tried to smash through the gate with a Fast Draw, but failed. The court flew up into the sky, carrying him away.

"Your friend has a really weird mind," Cecilia said to Rei as they stared up at the flying court helplessly.

The basketball court flew through the misty sky towards a small city. The court swooped down towards the largest building, which appeared to be a city hall. It hovered over it for a moment, then abruptly turned upside down, dropping Jack onto the roof.

The bruised Fenril Knight picked himself up and shook his head to clear his mind. A smashing sound caused him to look up. The lobster was smashing through the city, stomping buildings as it went. It was heading directly towards the city hall.

Jack looked about the roof and spotted a vaccuum cleaner. He seized it and turned it on. Although it was not plugged in, the vaccuum cleaner roared in life. The lobster was immediately sucked towards it and, despite being twenty feet tall, was vaccuumed up.

"Well, that takes care of that problem," Jack said. "Now what?" The city hall was three stories tall, and there didn't seem to be any good footholds to climb down with. That left only the chimeny. "Geromino!" Jack cried, leaping down the chimney.

He tumbled down a shaft and dropped into something wet. He pulled himself out. It was a toilet. Luckily, there appeared to be only clean water in it. Ignoring the fact that the chimney led into a bathroom, Jack walked into the door. It was locked from the outside. "Help!" Jack shouted, pounding on the door. "I'm stuck in here!"

There was a hissing sound from behind it. Jack turned. Slugs were crawling out of the toilet. Jack used his Guilty Blade Fast Draw, blasting each sword with a phantasmal sword and destroying them. That threat alleviated, he paced the room, trying to think of a way out.

Then he remembered something he'd learn in his high school chemistry class. He opened up the medicine cabinets, looking for the right mix of cleansers that would explode would combine. All that was in the medicine cabinet, however, was a bottle of Tylenol.

"Wheeeep!" a voice exclaimed from inside the bottle. Puzzled, Jack opened it and Peco the onion leaped out.

"PUDDY!" Peco squeaked, banging his head against the door and breaking it down. "Pusyu," he said to Jack, then waddled out the door.

Jack walked through the door himself. It led to an elevator. At this point things had gotten so weird that Jack didn't even notice Peco had vanished. He pressed the Down arrow, but nothing happened, so he tried the Up arrow. The elevator started to move and rose several stories. The doors opened, and Jack was back in the fire station. He hurried outside, hoping his friends were still there.

The first thing Jack noticed was the giant beanstalk. It had grown out of the pit left by the basketball court flying off. The rest of the party was climbing up it for lack of anything better to do. "Hey, guys, wait for me!" Jack shouted. He scrambled up the beanstalk and eventually caught up with them.

"Jack, you're back," Ryu said. "Hey, that rhymed."

"Doesn't this just beat all?" Rei said. "This beanstalk just started coming out of the ground as soon as the basketball court flew out."

"Where are we going?" Jack asked.

"Who knows?" Momo replied. "It must go somewhere, though."

And it did. Eventually the party came to a castle floating in the clouds at the top of the beanstalk. Rudy cautiously pushed open the doors and screamed. "What is it?" Jane demanded.

"It's... it's... it's the Nissan Guy!" Rudy said, and fainted.

The old guy from the Nissan commercials stumbled out of the front door, a scary smile on his face. Clutched in his hands was a dog. Jane felt sorry for the dog; it was trapped with a scary guy like this.

"Dogs love trucks," the Nissan Guy chuckled. He walked up to Rei and smiled.

"Aaaaaah! Get away from me!" Rei yelled. He lashed out with his daggers and connected. The dog leaped out of the Nissan Guy's arms and started attacking Rei.

"No! No! Down, boy!" Momo yelled at the dog. "Sit!"

"Only one thing can save us now!" Ryu exclaimed.

"Pepsiman?" Hanpan guessed.

"No! The Eggs!"

"The Eggs?"

Ryu pulled some eggs out of his pocket and started hurling them at the Nissan Guy. "Ha!" he said triumphantly. "I finally found a use for these!" He pelted the Nissan Guy with eggs until there was a bright flash of light.

The party was standing back in Gramor, at Teepo's bedside. "Hey, we did it," Rei said. "Doesn't that just beat all?"

"That thing must have been giving him nightmares," Cecilia guessed.

"Yeah, now he's going to give me nightmares," Jane muttered.

Rudy was still unconscious. "Rudy, can you hear me?" Jack waved a fist in Rudy's face. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Uh... none," Rudy said.

"Good."

Rudy stood up just as Teepo sat up in bed. "Huh?" he said. "Where am I?"

"Are you okay?" Ryu asked.

"Should we get you to an institute?" Jane suggested. "You have an awfully weird mind."

"Rei? Ryu? What are you guys doing here?" Teepo said. "What happened to the soldiers?"

"Soldiers? What soldiers?" Rei said.

"The ones in green," Teepo said.

"You're still acting pretty weird," Jane said. "Are you sure you're not a few bricks short of a load?"

Teepo waved his hands, trying somehow to get Rei to understand. "The Umbrella ones! The ones in Caer Xhan! In the desert!"

"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead," Jane whispered to Jack.

"I think you'd better start from the beginning," Momo suggested.

"Okay..." Teepo said. "I was in this laboratory place, sitting in a chair, and there were all these scientists guys running around. I think they injected something to me. I don't know how I got into the laboratory."

"Go on," Ryu prompted.

"The scientists guys told me to follow them, and so I did, and they took me outside, and we were in Caer Xhan," Teepo said. "Except the whole place was alive now, and there were people there and everything. You should have seen it, Rei!"

"Caer Xhan?" Jane said. "Isn't that the guy from the Jungle Book?"

"No, it's a city," Ryu said. "An ancient one."

"So they took me to this other place, where there was this other guy called Palet, and -"

"Palet?" Momo interrupted. "But he's dead!"

"Yeah, and so were Balio and Sunder," Rei said darkly. "Something's up here."

"Can I finish?" Teepo said. "- and this Palet guy said he had all sorts of 'plans' for me. I didn't like the sound of that, so I turned into a dragon and blasted my way out. Then Palet sent all these soldiers in green suits after me. They had guns, and their suits said 'Umbrella' on them. So I ran out of the city, but the guys kept chasing me. So I hid behind a rock, and when the guys were gone, I started digging a tunnel with my shoe. I don't remember what happened after that, but I must've ended up here somehow."

"Caer Xhan," Ryu repeated.

"Palet," Momo added.

"This could be trouble," Ryu said. "We'd better check it out."

"I have a feeling our demon might be involved in this too," Cecilia said. "We'll come too."

"Yeah, but how are we going to get there?" Momo said. "We'll have to go all the way back through the desert again. I don't want to go through that a second time."

"No, we don't," Rudy announced. "You'll probably think this is a little strange, but you're going to have to trust us on this one."

* * *

"I still don't believe this," Momo said, staring out the Protowing window with fascination. There wasn't a whole lot to see in the desert blow, but the experience of flying was a novelty to her.

"Tell me when you see this Caer Xhan place," Rudy said.

"I still say that's the guy from the Jungle Book," Jane commented.

Rei snapped his fingers. "I knew we forgot something!"

"What?"

"Mogu and Sten!"

"Oops," Rudy said.

"There!" Ryu pointed at a spot of purple and gray that appeared striking in the endless pale sand of the desert. "There's Caer Xhan!"

Rudy dove, circled around once to find a landing spot, and touched down in the pavement outside a small building near Caer Xhan -- the Container Yard. They disembarked and paused to plan their strategy. "So we're looking for Palet, then?" Ryu asked.

"Yeah," Rei said. "Teepo said he was in a tall purple building."

"Well, that narrows it down," Jack said, looking at the city from the horizon. Half the buildings were purple, and most were tall.

"Why don't we pretend we're delivering something to him?" Elmina suggested.

"Good idea," Rei said. "Leave this to me." He scampered off, and the party waited for his return. About ten minutes later, he walked back into the Container Yard. "Easy as pie," he said. "I beat up a guard, took his uniform, and asked another guy where Palet is. He's in a building on the west side of town, near the park."

With Rei leading the way, the whole group crossed the hill to Caer Xhan. "Teepo was right," Rei whispered. "This whole place is back to life."

When they rounded the bend that allowed them to see the city, they could tell he was right. Cars zoomed down the roads, and pedestrians walked the repaired streets. Lights shone out of the refurbished building. A huge sign at the city limits welcomed visitors to "Caer Xhan, a city of the Umbrella Corporation."

"Who are these Umbrella guys?" Cecilia wondered.

"We'll find out soon enough," Ryu said. "Let's go."

They moved quickly to the building where Palet was, moving inconspicously but not too stealthily as to look out of place. Most of the pedestrians did not give them trouble, but the occasional guard did, forcing Jack to alleviate the problem with a simple sword thrust.

Once they got to the building, they easily located an elevator in the lobby.. "He's either on the top floor, or in the basement. We'll try the top floor first," Rudy said.

"Nuh uh, let's try the bottom floor," Momo said.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"We'll flip a coin," Rudy said. Ryu handed him a two-zenny coin and Rudy tossed it into the air. It landed on the ground on its side, rolled into a corner, and disappeared into a crack.

"It fell down, so we'll interpret that as down." Momo pressed the down button on the elevator and they descended into the basement of the building. After a short pause, the elevator dinged and the doors opened, presenting them with a view of a hangar.

The hangar was a small metal-floored room with a huge open space on the left side, protected by a railing. Inside the open chamber sat a gray steel spaceship. Standing at a control panel in front of the railing was Palet. "See?" Momo said. "What did I tell you? I'm right every time."

Palet turned at the sound of her voice. "How did you get here?" he demanded.

"We used the elevator," Hanpan said. "How else?"

"Ha ha ha," Palet said. "Now go away. You already frickin' killed me once; isn't that enough?"

"Nope," Rei grinned. "LET'S PLAY TWO!" He drew his knives and ducked down into combat position.

Palet backed nervously away from Rei. "What do you frickin' want?" he asked.

"We want to know what you're doing," Ryu said. "How you came back from the dead? What about Balio and Sunder? What are you and 'the organization' up to? We've got questions; you've got answers."

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," Palet said. "Of course, I was going to kill you anyway."

"Good, then there's no harm in telling us," Jane said. "Let's hear it."

"As comissioned by the Umbrella corporation, we are experimenting with the fusion of chrysm and materia," Palet replied haughtily. "It causes the distortion of reality, and can be controlled and focused in small reactors, as I'm sure you've noticed."

"Why?"

Before Palet had a chance to speak further, a door in the back of the hangar opened and in stepped the long-haired man that appeared to be the demon, for Cecilia's Geiger counter went berserk again. "Woi're ready to go," the man said to Palet, speaking in a New Jersey accent.

"Not exactly," Palet said. "We've got some frickin' heroes showing up."

"Damn," the man said. "We don't have time to deal with them."

"I'll initiate the launch." Palet pushed a button on the control panel. The spaceship doors opened and Palet walked in, leaving the alleged demon to deal with the party.

"Hey," Momo observed. "Isn't that the craft from the Steel Grave? It's all fixed up."

"It was frickin' exhumed," Palet shouted from inside the spaceship.

The long-haired man opened his eyes wide. Twin lasers flared from his eyes and shot at the party, boring a path through Rei's hair. "Yikes," Rei said. This was clearly not a normal human they were dealing with.

"Just who are you, anyways?" Cecilia said as she prepared to cast a spell.

"Me?" the man said. "I.... am Zenogias."

"The frickin' spaceship's about to take off! Hurry up!" Palet said.

"My, he likes that word, doesn't he?" Hanpan said.

Zenogias fired another eye laser blast at the party, missing them, as he ran inside the spaceship. He threw the door shut just as the spaceship took off down the hangar passage and out of the room.

"Quick, we've got to chase them!" Rudy said. He ran back into the elevator and waited impatiently as the rest of the party climbed in as well. "Hey... where's Jane?"

"Maybe she already left," Jack said. He pressed the Up button and the elevator rose. They ran out into the lobby, where Jane was waiting for them. She had a pile of guns clutched between her folded arms.

"I found our ARMs," she explained. "What's going on?"

"This way!" Rudy said, running out of the building. "Hurry!"

They ran out of Caer Xhan and back to the Protowing. Overhead, the spaceship was disappearing into the sky. "What's going on here, anyway?" Ryu asked.

"Never mind, it doesn't concern you," Hanpan said. "Have a nice trip."

"What?" Momo said.

Rudy, Jack, Cecilia, Jane, and Elmina climbed in the Protowing and slammed the door shut. "It's been fun," Jack shouted out the window. "Thanks for the help."

The Protowing took off with a roar and soared up into the sky, leaving a bewildered Ryu, Rei, and Momo behind. "They seem to have gotten some other ones, too," Jane said on the topic of ARMs. "I took a flamethrower. You can have this nifty lightning gun thing."

"Can't you see I'm trying to drive?"

The Steel Grave spaceship was barely visible in the sky, and Rudy tailed it into space, towards an unknown destination. Cecilia repeated the strange-sounding name of one its occupants.

"Zenogias."