A ship pulled into the harbor of Sildobas Trade City on the south coast of Romanda. Delita, dressed in travelling clothes, got off, followed by the rest of Cloud's group. "Well, here we are in Romanda," Cait Sith said. "And boy, are my arms tired!"
"Are you on crack or something?" Rufus asked him. C.S. giggled in reply.
They set off to the local bar, always a good place to gather information. As they strolled down the street, it became quite apparent that Romanda was not Ivalice. The roads were smooth stone, not dirt, and the houses were all well-kept and spacious -- none of the slums that characterized many Ivalian cities. And at the dock, Cid had noticed steam-powered machinery. It was no Midgar, but Romanda was far more advanced than its southern neighbor.
"I've seen a flood and a supernova..." Sephiroth started singing softly.
"I thought you'd finally stopped singing that song," Rufus said. "I guess I thought too soon."
They arrived at the bar. They were not surprised to find it was one of Tifa's franchised 7th Heaven bars. You found 7th Heaven bars everywhere these days, even in N64 games (7th Heaven will neither confirm nor deny the rumor that Yoshi got drunk and passed out at one of these such bars).
Inside, the bar looked about the same as any Ivalian bar. Orlandu sat down and struck up a conversation with another patron, hoping to glean some information. Cid ordered a beer, and Cait Sith got a bottle of cheap champagne. He shook it up, then pointed it at Rufus, who was innocently examining the propositions. Cait Sith turned to Sephiroth and winked evilly. "Hey, Rufus, think fast!" he shouted, then pulled the cap off. A torrent of champagne blasted out, drenching Rufus just as he turned.
"Why you -!" Rufus waving an accusing finger at Cait Sith. "Don't give me that grin!"
"That was for the comment about me being on crack," Cait Sith said.
Cloud, completely unaware of Cait's antics, was still examining the propositions list. "Hmmm... a shipwreck that needs salvaging, and a mine excavation," he said. "How original."
"Next please!" the barkeep shouted at Cloud.
Cloud looked up sharply. "Uh... water."
"Here you go," the barkeep said, handing Cloud a glass of water on a tray.
"Good one," Vincent said approvingly. He whipped out his notepad and added a check to Cloud's tally.
"One of these days I'm going to kill you," Rufus threatened. Champagne was running through his hair (mangling it further) and down his face. His white suit was completely soaked.
"You so much as lay a finger on me and I'm calling the ASPCA," Cait Sith shot back.
"Can we go?" Rufus asked impatiently.
"I don't think we're going to learn much more here," Orlandu said. "We might as well."
They headed out of the 7th Heaven bar. Rufus hurried off in pursuit of dry clothes. "So, what did you learn?" Delita asked Orlandu.
"There's some sort of religious colt hiding out in the woods up north," Orlandu reported. "I wouldn't be surprised if it had something to do with the Zodiac Stones. And Professor Daravon is in town. He's studying the military tactics of Romanda."
"Who's Professor Daravon?" Barret asked.
"He's a professor at the war academy in the city of Gariland," Olan explained. "He's pretty well-known."
"Should we go pay him a visit?" Cid suggested.
"Might not be a bad idea," Delita said. "He can probably shed some more light on the situation."
* * *
Delita knocked on the door of Daravon's temporary office at the National Guard building in Sildobas. Daravon answered it. Seeing Delita, his eyes widened in surprise, and he fell to his knees.
"Oh, get up," Orlandu said impatiently. "We don't have time for that."
Daravon offered the trio -- Delita, Orlandu, and Olan -- chairs and they sat down. Daravon remained standing. "Do what I can for you, You Majesty?" he asked.
"We heard you were in town and just thought we'd drop by," Orlandu said. "What's news in Romanda?"
"They are is talk of secede in Alazern," Daravon said, referring to Romanda's southeastern-most province and Rafa and Malak's home. "Alazern no like this Romadans, no?"
"Dad, what's he talking about?" Olan whispered. "He's not making any sense."
"Don't worry about it," Orlandu said. "It's not his fault his dialogue was poorly translated."
"This are also is rumor of terror of band," Daravon said. "By Ramza led. This was the darkened items won't appear."
"Anything about a religious colt?" Orlandu asked.
"Yes, the colt hang out in woods they live. Woods, up north they are. Big deal no, say government. But do we? Ha!"
"I can't take it anymore!" Olan yelled, and ran out of the room.
"So where are the rest of your friends?" Delita asked Orlandu. He spoke the last word with a slight but certainly noticeable sneer.
"I can't tell you that," Orlandu said. "If necessary, I'll tell you when the time comes. For now, I think our best bet is to check out this colt."
"Daravon, we'll need you as guide," Delita said.
"No problem!" Daravon said. "To glad my king all together serve. Ability is a skill you learn with Job training."
* * *
Cloud, Rufus, Barret, Vincent, Cid, Cait Sith, Orlandu, Olan, Delita, Sephiroth, and Daravon left Sildobas early the next morning and headed north into the forest. "The clear tree," Daravon said. "Where the colt hang out on the lives, yes."
"Er... are you speaking in an internationally recognized language?" Cait Sith said.
"Yeah, what the #&@$%!*% is he talking about?"
Following what they could understand of Daravon's directions, they made their way through the forest. It was a pine forest, and the trees were pretty thick. Being relatively far north, Romanda was a cold place, which might have had more than a little with its technological advancement.
At one point, they came upon a dirt trail, which they followed for a while. "To the round bend of, clearing colt is over, finish," Daravon said.
"I think he means that around this bend is the clearing where the colt is," Sephiroth translated.
They proceeded cautiously around the bend in the trail. "I have a good feeling!" Daravon announced suddenly.
"That's great, buddy," Cait Sith said. "Why don't you tell us what gave you this good feeling of yours -- wait, on second thought, don't. This is a family-oriented fanfic."
Daravon pointed up ahead. "See to where no road? For the clearing, is are there."
"Uh... I think he means that where the road disappears is where the clearing is," Seph said. "Or something like that."
They drew their weapons, then charged into the clearing. As they broke out into sunlight, Rufus fired off a couple of random blasts from his shotgun. Cloud was already charging up his Limit Break, and hopefully he would have a chance to use it before the battle was already over.
The clearing was empty. There was no battle.
"There's no one to fight here!" Daravon exclaimed. Then he added, "Maybe he just wanted to drive his chocobo carriage." Daravon started cracking up.
"O------kaaay!" Cait Sith said.
Delita pointed at some rustling bushes. The group tensed, ready to attack whatever was coming out. It was a young horse, carrying a large picket-style sign reading "REPENT ESRB -- THE END IS NEAR!"
"You must be the religious colt," Olan guessed.
"That's right," the bipedal colt said. "I have been chosen to hail the coming of a new era!"
"If you're talking about that whole Ajora thing, it's over and done with," Olan said.
"No!" the colt said. "Ajora was a weakling. We put too much faith in him. This time, we will not be defeated so easily. We have a new leader now, and together we can accomplish great things."
Before the colt could speak any more, a humanoid robot dropped out of the sky and landed in the clearing. "So you're a RELIGIOUS colt, eh?" the pilot said, leaning out of the cockpit. "DIE!!!" The robot fired a beam of fire at the colt, incinerating it.
"Hey, it's that guy again," Cait Sith said. By the time he had spoken, the robot was already flying away again. "Wait! Wait! Can you give me a ride in your robot?"
"Too bad that colt got toasted," Cid said. "This was gettin' interesting."
"This sounds serious," Orlandu mused. "We'd better warn the others." He glanced at Delita. "Don't even ask; I'm not telling you where they are until we're on the train."
"They have trains here?" Rufus asked in surprise.
"It's something they have in Romanda," Orlandu explained. "We don't have anything like it Ivalice. But it's quite handy."
"Daravon, we're going to need you as a guide again," Delita said.
"Off course," Daravon said. "Buzi is the Talon chief crew," he added sagely.
"All right," Cloud said. Let's mosey."
"%$^@%*!%$!"
* * *
A mere hour later, the group was on a train headed to Romanda City, the capital of the Republic of Romanda. "I have to go the bathroom," Cait Sith whined.
"Tough," Cid said. "There ain't no gettin' offa this train we're on." He turned to Vincent. "Do I get points for referencing our own game?"
"I'll have to think about that," Vincent said.
"Anyone up for a game of Parcheesi?" Sephiroth asked hopefully.
A young boy looking to be about eight or nine and wearing a bright green shirt walked up to Rufus. "Don't eat the food here," he advised. "They put some stuff on it to make it luscious. It makes you throw up."
Rufus paused, unsure of how to reply. "Thanks for letting us know, little fella," Cid cut in. "We'll be sure to avoid it. Now beat it."
"So what do you think that religious colt was talking about?" Delita asked Orlandu and Olan.
"Sounds like that the Lucavi are preparing another attack," Olan said. "But I thought they were are killed."
"Not really," Orlandu said. "There's 13 Zodiac Stones, right? But from what Ramza told me, he only fought six of the Lucavi -- Queklain, Velius, Zarela, Adramelk, Hashmalum, and Elidibs. That means there could be a whole seven more Lucavi we've never even seen."
"Wait!" Cloud said. "We did see one of them -- back in the castle. Kletian."
"That's right," Orlandu agreed.
"So we're facing more of these Zodiac fellows," Delita said, pacing their car. "Do you think they could be the real killers?"
Orlandu shrugged in response. The train continued its journey northeast through the woods to the sprawling capital of Romanda. Olan stared out the window and wondered what they find awaiting them there.
* * *
"Wow, it's huge," Olan breathed as he got his first glimpse of Romanda City. "Lesalia looks pathetic compared to this."
"This is the capital? That's it?" Rufus said at the same time.
"At least they don't have yo' damn pizza blockin' out all the sun!" Barret said.
"Terrific! This city is a wonderful thank. Special true," Daravon commented.
Delita walked over to a nearby guide booth. It showed a map of the city, which was almost completely covered by a huge red X. Next to the X was written, "YOU ARE HERE."
"Helpful," Sephiroth said dryly. "What are we trying to find?"
"Dooley Street," Orlandu said from nearby. "Don't worry; I know where it is."
With Orlandu in the lead, they set off through the vast capital of Romanda. It was even more impressive than Sildobas, with marble roads and beautifully-designed buildings frequently intercut with parks and fountains, and at one point a statue of Romanda's founder covered with pigeon excrement. The capitol building was a huge geodisic dome that towered over the rest of the city's skyline.
"This is a rather large city," Cloud said in a classic understatement.
"I liked the statue back there," Cait Sith giggled.
"I really think you are on crack," Rufus said.
Eventually they arrived at Dooley Street, where the exiles were living. Orlandu walked up to one house and knocked on it. Mustadio answered the door. "Oh, hey, Cid," he said. "You're back. What happened?"
"Turns out Olan didn't need rescuing after all," Orlandu said. "Thanks to Cloud and other folks."
"Hi, it's me," Cait Sith, walking up to Mustadio. "Remember me?"
Mustadio looked down at the talking cat. "I've never seen you before in my life."
"Damn you, you said you'd remember me!" Cait Sith shouted. "You've broken my poor little heart." He ran off, pretending to cry.
"Just ignore him," Rufus advised.
"I think I will," Mustadio said, shaken by the odd event.
"We don't have any time for chit-chat," Orlandu said as Mustadio led them into his house. "What's happened to Ramza and the Zodiac Stones?"
"Ramza and Alma ran off a little while after you left," Mustadio said. "Ramza said he was going to get revenge on Delita and -" Mustadio suddenly noticed one of the group. "Holy cow! What's Delita doing here?"
"I'm searching for Ovelia's real killers," Delita said. "They will pay dearly for her assassination."
The roof suddenly caved in as a large robot dropped in through the roof. "What's this I hear about a HOLY cow?" the pilot asked.
"Never mind," Cid said. "Now go away, you @$#%(&$%."
"Well, if you're sure..."
"We're sure," Olan said.
The Gear jumped back out of the house, the only sign that it had ever visited a huge hole in the roof of Mustadio's living room. The young engineer looked up. "That's gonna take a long time to repair, you know."
"So that's how you fool them," Daravon said randomly.
"Ignore him too," Rufus suggested. "He doesn't speak any known language."
"So is the gang all here?" Cloud asked the question of nobody in particular.
"Yup," Mustadio said. "Meliadoul lives across the street, Agrias is next door, Beowulf is the next house down and Reis the one after that, Boco has a pen in Agrias's yard, Worker 8 used to stay in my basement 'til he disappeared, and the Byblos found a ditch in the park and dug itself a cave. Except Rafa and Malak -- they went back to their hometown in Alazern. You know, there's talk of Alazern rebelling."
"So I've heard," Delita said.
"Wait a second!" Orlandu interrupted. "You said Worker 8 disappeared?"
"Yeah," Mustadio said. "One day he just went berserk and started tearing up the basement, then he left and I never saw him again. He took the Zodiac Stones with him."
"He did," Orlandu repeated. "Just as I thought. Any idea where he went?"
"No clue," Mustadio replied. "I have no idea why he went crazy like that. He must have malfunctioned or something."
"Is this Worker 8 fellow a robot?" Vincent said.
"Yeah," Cloud replied.
"Then couldn't he have been reprogrammed somehow?" Vincent suggested. "It seems a lot of people would want to get their hands on these Zodiac Stones."
"Reprogrammed?" Mustadio said blankly.
"Never mind," Vincent said.
"So what's our next move?" Sephiroth asked.
"Search for to find Worker 8," Daravon suggested.
"Let's assume that Worker 8 was reprogrammed," Rufus said. "That means that whoever reprogrammed knows something about robots. In other words, they probably came from our world."
"Or it could be one of the Lucavi," Orlandu said. "They date back to the time when Worker 8 was built."
"You don't get Lucavi without Zodiac Stones," Mustadio said. "And since this whole scheme was to get the Zodiac Stones, that rules out that possibility."
"zodiac stones are stones tat are zodiac," Daravon said.
"Why is so quiet?" Olan asked.
"Because Cait Sith's not here," Rufus replied.
"Mustadio, what happened to the machine that you used to summon me?" Cloud asked.
"It's in the basement," Mustadio said. "But nobody could have used it; it only runs on the Zodiac Stone."
"So it sounds like this plan originated in our world," Rufus said.
"Can you say Zenogias?" Cid said.
"What?"
"We know that #$&%$% doesn't want us gettin' the Zodiac Stones. It might reveal some secret of his. So he probably took the damn stones."
"Let's try and think like the enemy," Delita suggested.
"I don't want to be thinkin' like them damn Shinra!" Barret said.
"If we stole the Zodiac Stones, where would we hide?" Delita continued.
"In the Deep Dungeon; it's pitch black in there," Orlandu suggested.
"On a frozen mountain," Sephiroth said.
"In a coffin," Vincent said.
"Nogias..." Cloud said. "ZE...nogias?"
"I don't want to go all the way down to the Deep Dungeon; it's halfway across the planet," Orlandu said. "By the time we get there, they'll probably be long gone."
"Nah, that doesn't follow," Olan said. "You can spent years wandering around the map and the attack at Bethla Garrison will never happen until you get there."
"How about in Alazern?" Mustadio suggested. "If there's a revolt, it'll be total anarchy down there."
"That's got possibility," Delita agreed. "And it's closer than this Deep Dungeon place."
"Yeah, we can just take tha' train," Barret said.
"There's no train to Alazern," Orlandu corrected. "It's total desert down there. We can take a chocobo carriage, though."
Cloud handed Mustadio a PHS phone. "Mustadio, I want you to take this. It's called a phone. If we get in trouble, we can talk to you on this. Just push the big button if it starts ringing, okay?"
* * *
The chocobo carriage stopped a few days later in Ordu, the capital of Alazern. Rufus got off and stretched his sore legs. "Are we there?" he asked.
"Yeah," Orlandu said. "This's the place. Should we talk to Rafa and Malak; they might know something?"
"All right," Cloud agreed.
They crossed the city to Rafa and Malak's home. Orlandu knocked, and Rafa answered it. She took them in to the living room. Malak was sitting on the sofa, reading Choosing the Right Action Ability For You. "Orlandu's here," Rafa said.
Malak put the book down. "Hello there," he said.
"Hi," Orlandu said. "Have you heard what's been happening?"
"You mean about the revolution?" Rafa asked. "Of course!"
"No, not that, about the Zodiac Stones," Orlandu said. Rafa shook her head. "Something went wrong with Worker 8 and he ran off the Zodiac Stones. Now the church seems to have got their hands on them again."
"The church?" Malak blurted.
"We ran into Kletian and Rofel again," Cloud said. "Kletian turned into a Lucavi."
"We thought the thief might be hiding in Alazern," Delita explained. "The revolt would make a good cover."
"I have to go the bathroom," Malak said. He got up and left the room.
"I.. I haven't heard anything about it," Rafa said. "Would you guys like some tea?"
"Sure," Cid agreed. "You can probably make better tea than @$%*$% Shera."
Rafa went into the kitchen to make some tea. Rufus waited until they had left. "They're bad liars," he whispered.
"You had a lot of experience wi' lying, huh?" Barret said. "That don't surprise me."
"Yes, but what are they trying to cover up?" Vincent said. He walked over to a bookshelf and examined the titles idly. "Men Are From Mars, Yuffie Is From Pluto... Chocobo Soup For the Soul... these are all self-help books."
"Hmmm, I wonder why," Cait Sith joked.
"Prince Jean: An Autobiography," Vincent continued reading the titles. As he came to the next one, he froze. A startled expression passed over his normally unreadable face. He looked like someone who was visting a friend's house and found a dead body lying in their kitchen in plain sight.
The next book was titled Robot Programming For Dummies.
With a shaking hand, Vincent picked it up and showed it to the rest of the group. "But why?" Cloud asked. "Why would Rafa and Malak want to steal the Zodiac Stones?"
"We'll worry about that later," Orlandu said. "They're on to us; they're probably trying to escape right now."
The group ran into the kitchen. There was no sign that anyone had been making tea. They hurried out the other side of the kitchen and into the hallway. A door had been left wide open on the far side. They ran through and found themselves on some stairs. Orlandu took the lead as they stumbled down the stairs two or three at a time. At the bottom was a close door.
Orlandu tried to open it, but it was stuck. "Stand back," Cid said. He took a few running steps forward and gave the door a hard kick.
"#$*&%^*%^!" Cid swore, hopping around and holding his foot.
"They must have stacked something up behind it," Delita said.
"Look, a heating duct," Sephiroth said, pointing at a small grate on the floor.
"There no way we coul fit into that hole, foo'," Barret said. "It's tiny."
"Leave this to me," Cait Sith said. He pulled the cover off this duct and crawled inside. Even for the small cat, the fit was tight.
"Wait!" Rufus shouted, but C.S. was gone. Rufus turned to the others. "We can't leave it to him!"
"For another plan did you have wait?" Daravon asked.
Cait Sith wriggled down the dusty heating duct. A few yards away from where he had entered, light shone down. It was another duct. C.S. pushed it upwards and hopped out.
He landed in the basement, about two feet away from Rafa and Malak. The pair was obviously tired from having moved the huge pile of boxes in front of the door. "Oh no! They're here!" Rafa said.
"It's only one cat," Malak said. "We can handle him."
"Famous last words," Cait Sith said. He threw his dice at Malak and rolled four ones. Malak barely flinched, and started charging up a spell.
Cait Sith hopped around the basement. "Nyah, nyah, can't catch me," he said as Rafa ran after him, swinging her rod futilely.
"Open the water-filled skies and pour!" Malak shouted. "Hydragon Pit!" There was a blast of blue light and and a blue kanji struck Rafa, sending her backwards into the wall. Cait kept running, and another kanji exploded behind him. The third such kanji landed directly on Malak, knocking him out.
"Yeah! I did it!" Cait Sith shouted, jumping up and down in glee and waving his megaphone. "I won another fight! That makes, uh, two." After his celebration eventually died down, Cait Sith began the long task of unbarricading the door.
* * *
"What did you try to steal the Zodiac Stones for?" Cloud demanded. They had locked Rafa and Malak in Malak's bedroom for questioning by Cloud and Delita.
"We didn't know anything about the Zodiac Stones," Malak said. "Honest. We were just trying to steal Worker 8."
"Steal Worker 8? Why?"
"To use him in the revolution, of course!" Rafa said. "But something went wrong, and he went berserk."
"You reprogrammed him?" Cloud asked.
"Yes," Rafa said. "We followed the instructions Mr. Poindexter gave us exactly! I don't know what went wrong."
"Who's Mr. Poindexter?" Delita demanded.
"Mr. Poindexter is the leader of our revolution!" Malak said hostiley. "It was his idea to steal Worker 8."
"And he gave you the instructions?" Delita said. "But when you followed them, Worker 8 ran off with the Zodiac Stones?"
"Right," Malak said. His voice took a miserable tone. "It was such a perfect plan. How could it have failed?"
Delita looked at Ramza. "I think you've been used," he said to Rafa and Malak.
"You do have a lot expertise in that area, don't you?" Cloud said to Delita.
"Shut up, Cloud."
"Where does this Mr. Poindexter live?" Delita asked.
Malak drew them a map on a scrap of paper. "You can't miss it," he said it. "He has his own miniature train outside."
"Will you let us go?" Rafa pleaded.
"Yes," Cloud said before Delita could answer the question differently. "You don't seem to be responsible. But stay here in your house. We've got to go catch Mr. Poindexter."
* * *
"You think Mr. Poindexter is Zenogias?" Rufus asked as they crossed the city to Mr. Poindexter's house.
"If not Zenogias, one of his underlings," Cloud said. "Malak said he had his own miniature train. I think he meant a car. In other words, he's got to be from our world."
Cloud's guess was right. Mr. Poindexter's "miniature train" was a truck parked outside his house. Two guards confronted the party as they tried to approach the building, but they made quick work of them and entered.
They made their way to a large room on the second floor. Inside, there a huge map of the world on the far wall, and a large window on the east wall. Below the map was a control panel with some futuristic-looking (for this world) communications equipment. Sitting in a tall leather chair before the control panel was a cloaked figure. Only his hands could be seen as he worked with the controls.
"I'm surprised you made it this far," Mr. Poindexter said. "But your journey ends here."
"You just lost one point for using an overly cliched line," Vincent said. He took out his notepad, added Mr. Poindexter's name, and put a minus sign next to it.
"You're too late," Mr. Poindexter said.
"You just lost another one," Vincent interrupted, adding another minus.
Mr. Poindexter ignored him. "We Lucavi have already been unleashed into our hosts. You cannot stop us now."
"I guess he's not Zenogias," Cloud whispered. "Zenogias isn't Lucavi."
"How dare you speak the name of our master!" Mr. Poindexter said. "He is the one who will lead us into our new world order! Ajora was a false leader. Our master is the true hero. He will soon have a chicken on every altar. He even gave me that wonderful thing he calls a truck."
"You'll never win!" Cloud said. "Good will always triumph over evil!"
"My, my, what's with all these minuses today?" Vincent said, putting a minus next to Cloud's name.
"Yes, but evil has bigger guns than good!" Mr. Poindexter said. He spun his chair around.
It was Algus.
"Algus!" Delita shouted. "You're behind all this? But -"
"The master saved me from Fort Zeakden," Algus said. "Then he told me to find the Zodiac Stones and crush you unworthy scum once and for all!" With his right hand, Algus reached into his cloak and produced a glittering green stone.
As Algus's cloak shifted, Cloud saw something shocking. Algus's left arm was missing. "Your arm!" he said. "What happened to your arm?"
"I lost it in a Macadamia nut accident," Algus admitted. "But one arm is all I need to destroy you with the power of the Holy Stone!"
Cait Sith looked up at the ceiling expectantly. "I'm waiting," he said. But the robot did not come. "Must've run out of gas or something," he muttered.
Something clicked in Delita's mind. The DNA tests had shown that Ovelia had been killed by a one-armed man. "YOU!" he roared. "You're the one who killed Ovelia! And Teta! You bastard!"
"A commoner animal like you does not deserve to be king," Algus sneered. "I am the one chosen to become ruler of the planet."
"No, I am!" Sephiroth shouted. He and Delita both charged towards Algus. Algus turned and took a running leap through the window. He dropped down the side of the building and fell through the sunroof of the truck.
There was a sound of an engine starting. "The truck have started to move!" Daravon shouted.
"I see that!" Olan said. "And speak properly, will you?"
Delita, blinded by anger, dived out of the window after Algus and landed on the street just as Algus's truck drove off. He ran after it on foot.
The others left the building by a more conventional route. They arrived just in time to see Delita disappear around a corner in pursuit of Algus's truck. They ran pointlessly after it, but knew they had no chance of catching up with a truck on foot.
"Yo! Knew I'd find you eventually, foo'!" a voice shouted behind them. Barret turned. It was Mr. T. "Did some practicin' and I can talk in fonts now. "Try this on for size!"
"Ha ha!" Barret laughed derisevly, pointing at Mr. T. "You be talkin' in Fixedsys! I can talk in Arial, and in bold too! You still need more practice, foo'! Come back next year!"
"You spoony bard!" Daravon said to Mr. T.
"Hey, wait, Mr. T!" Cid said. "Stop that @$%^%^ truck!"
"Which truck?"
"The only one in the city!"
Mr. T jogged down the street at a right angle to the way Algus had left. Algus made a U-turn and turned into the street where Mr. T was waiting. Mr. T opened fire on the truck. One of the truck's wheels came flying off and its hood popped up. The truck skidded sideways, smashed into a fence, and spun down the street, out of control. Mr. T shot again and the car fell back onto its trunk and slid half the length of its trunk on just its rear wheels, before tipping backwards and landing upside-down, completely destroyed.
Algus jumped out of the car, miraculously unhurt. He raised the Sagittarius Zodiac Stone. It shined, then a green vortex appeared around Algus, filled with lightning. Fireballs circled around and into the vortex as Algus transformed into a 9-foot tall centaur with an equally large longbow.
Algus produced an arrow as thick as a car axle and loaded it into his longbow. He fired it at Mr. T. Mr. T dived out of the way, but still got hit in his left leg. "Yo!" Mr. T shouted. "You can't be hurtin' me, foo'! Nobody gets hurt in the A-Team! It ain't right! I'm outta here!" Mr. T limped off.
Meanwhile, Delita had caught up with Algus. "I should kill you slowly," he seethed. Completely berserk, he charged at Algus, waving his Save The Queen sword. Algus frantically grabbed another arrow and fired it at Delita. Delita rolled under the arrow without even slowing up and came up fighting. Algus kicked at Delita's head with one of his powerful front legs, and it connecting with a dull thud.
Discarding his sword, Delita grabbed hold of Algus's bow with both hands and wrenched out of the Lucavi's grasp. Algus galloped forward, trying to trample Delita. Delita flipped over Algus's head and landed on his left side. He snatched an arrow out of the quiver on Algus's back and raised it to the longbow.
"This is what you did to Teta!" Delita roared, firing the arrow off at Algus.
It missed.
"Hey, how could that happen?" Delita said. "Those kind of shots never miss. Now you've spoiled everything."
"Mwah ha ha ha!" Algus said. He was about to cast a spell, when, without warning, his body erupted in flames and he fell to the ground, writhing.
"Whoa," Delita said. "Let's hear it for spontaneous combustion."
"If... you think you can stop us... come to Mt.... Kyukrein," Algus gasped. Then another vortex appeared and he exploded in flames, leaving behind the Sagittarius stone.
Delita picked up the stone. "Case closed," he said.
"Not exactly," Cait Sith said, approaching. "There's still one question left: What exactly is a Macadamia nut accident?"
| Next chapter: Good Seph Hunting |