7/31/02

Sorry I didn't update yesterday, folks... I had to make up for lost sleep after working through the night on the features section.  If it's any consolation, I've written a new review of a very old NES game.  Warm up those Zappers... then put them down again, because it's time for a trip through Hogan's Alley!  Don't worry about being mugged by a flabby wrestler in a pink tutu; he's busy strangling Richard Belzer.

All right, all right... I'll stop acting like a moron.  I did want to ask you guys a question, though.  The other day, I received an E-mail from a woman who claimed to represent a cell phone company.  She's creating a presentation featuring graphics from various Pac-Man games, hoping to convince a client to purchase a cell phone maze game they're developing.  She wants to include footage from Pac-Mon, a JessCREATIONS*,Co. shareware release from 1996, in this presentation.  While I'm not sure why she'd want to use my game for this (perhaps to avoid paying Namco big bucks to use theirs?), I'd be more than willing to let her. 

I'm just not sure how I should handle the situation... she mentioned paying for the license to my game, but I don't want to lose the rights to it, nor do I want to risk a possible legal battle with Namco.  Sure, I designed Pac-Mon, but it's an accurate translation of a game that's clearly the property of a large corporation.  Alternately, I could just donate the rights under several conditions (that I'm credited for my work in some way and that I retain the rights to the code), but it would be nice to get something out of this deal... you know, a souvenir. 

What do you think I should do?  If you've got an opinion, please post it on the forum.  I'd really appreciate the help!

7/29/02

It took all of last night, but I've finally finished the features section.  It nicely combines the layout from the old site design with the oval borders commonly used in the new one.  It's very table dependant, so I'm not sure how it'll look on your computers.  I'm pretty sure Netscape won't display it properly, but if you're using an alternate browser and still have troubles, please let me know and I'll try to address them.

I've got just enough energy left to get all this stuff on a disk and talk a little about Super Mario Sunshine.  I was convinced that this game would be another cheesy Mario spinoff, like Luigi's Mansion, but it really is a legitimate sequel to Super Mario 64... it's just as cleverly designed and incorporates many of the same play mechanics.  It's worth noting some of the differences between this game and the previous one, though... Super Mario Sunshine reminds me a little of the Lynx and Genesis game Todd's Adventures in Slime World.  Just like in Slime World, there's a lot of deadly muck lying around, and water is your only defense against it. 

Thankfully, Super Mario Sunshine isn't anywhere near as slow and aimless as that game, thanks to the level objectives that worked so well in Super Mario 64 (you collect shine sprites instead of stars... I'd insert a stupid "Shine Get!" joke here but they've all been used already) and a much more versatile weapon.  I'm not even sure it would be accurate to call the F.L.O.O.D. waterpack a weapon, since it can be used in so many other ways, from propelling canoes to holding Mario in mid-air after he jumps.

The graphics are marvelous in some respects, and not especially impressive in others... some of the playfield objects are built from surprisingly few polygons, and the textures aren't exactly state of the art either (sorry, Nintendo, but blurring them doesn't help matters).  I can't complain about the characters, though... Mario in particular is perfectly rendered and animated, running around the stages with a youthful enthusiasm you wouldn't expect from a New York plumber.  And would'ya look at the special effects?  The water is just as refreshing to the player as it is to Mario, and the paint in each stage (ranging from oily black ink to psychadelic wavy gravy, complete with flowing colors) splatters and leaves trails if you're unlucky enough to walk through it.  Making a mess has never looked so good!

I guess there was something to the E3 hype after all.  I'm still not ready to buy a GameCube, but a few more games like this might change my mind.  It'd be an even more tempting purchase if third parties like Capcom and Konami would follow Nintendo's lead and let their own once popular characters make GameCube exclusive comebacks.

It just occured to me that maybe I should be reviewing some games or something.  I'll try to write some reviews sometime this week, but you know how I am.

7/27/02

I'd planned to work on the features section of this site and work a little on a game I'm helping some friends design, but after spending countless hours on the comic you'll find below I don't have the energy for anything else. 

If you liked Zoo Logic, you should enjoy this, although some experience with the Crazy Taxi series (particularly the later games) is a prerequisite.  My advice for those of you who thought Zoo Logic was dumb?  Suffer.

Someone needs to give me a reason to keep the forum around.  I'm thinking about removing it and just directing my readers to the other message boards I regularly visit.  Sector: NGP's forums have infinitely more traffic than mine, and the system that site covers hasn't been actively supported for years!  It's pretty discouraging.  I've failed to create a loyal reader base with this site, and it's not fun to have that failure stare you in the face day in and day out.  The few people who DO post already have their own message boards, so the logical solution would be just to offer links to them.

7/25/02

I'm happy to say that Bubble Bobble Old and New is every bit as good as I'd hoped it would be.  You'll find the review on the Game Boy Advance page.

I didn't have such high hopes for Crazy Taxi 3, but I have to admit that it's better than the second game.  However, despite the likable new characters and impressive lighting effects, it just isn't as enjoyable as the very first Crazy Taxi.  I think great level design is a large part of what made the original so popular... there were beautiful green hills and parks mixed in with the drab grey buildings, and this added definition, variety, and most importantly, freedom to the experience.  All this is largely missing in the rather claustrophobic sequels, which surround you with skyscrapers at nearly every turn.  I've got one other problem with the new Crazy Taxi games, but I'll address that in an upcoming comic.

If The Gameroom Blitz was recently featured on Something Awful, I'm to blame for that.  I've been worried that one of my sites, be it this one or the upcoming Rogue's Gallery, would become the subject of a scathing review from Rich Kyanka or one of the members of his thug squad.  I just got so tired of waiting for the axe to fall that I went to Kyanka myself... not so much to complain, "Hey, what the hell is taking you so long?", but to gripe about some of his other victims, ranging from kids starting their first comics to handicapped ladies with polio (glad to know Rich is willing to take a stand against such intimidating figures).  I figured I'd send him a heartfelt, yet intelligent letter, since he likes to remind us (constantly) that the Internet is devoid of any real value and that most site authors are complete nimrods.  His response?

"Didn't read.  Too long."

So it seems that Rich isn't really interested in making the Internet better.  I can certainly understand why, though.  After all, how could he sell us everything from T-shirts to refreshing, grenade-powered Something Awful colonics if the Internet actually had intelligent, thought provoking content?  If that horrible day were to ever come, he'd have to work his poor tail off to survive, offering more of the genuinely funny content people expect from Something Awful rather than picking on depressed teenagers for the rest of eternity.  That sure would suck for him, although maybe the rest of us could visit Something Awful every once in a while without seeing the same repetitive pattern of goth/furry/personal site bashing that's plagued the site for far too many months.

So here's the deal, folks... for the betterment of Something Awful and the Internet as a whole, you need to put on your thinking caps and come up with some terrific web sites people might actually want to read.  If you need help, refer to Ain't It Cool News, then do exactly the opposite of what Harry Knowles is doing.  I want to see at least fifty great web pages by the end of the year, and if my demands aren't met within the next six months, my horde of militant blood-drinking Azyan raccoon poets will be feasting on Rich Kyanka's white facepaint-stained bones.