(Not recommend for kids under 18.  Mostly because none of them remember this game.)

I floated aimlessly through space, all alone... so very alone.  There was a time when conquering planets excited me and made me feel alive, but that was three hundred years ago.  Even then, turning entire civilizations into my robotic slaves gave me an empty, meaningless pleasure that faded moments after the last cybernetic implant was forcefully driven into the body of my last screaming victim.  Now, it means absolutely nothing to me.  I am burdened with a strange new desire that nothing can satisfy... I could rule the entire galaxy and my thirst would go unquenched.

Nevertheless, the leaders of my Gorfian army insisted that we attack a small planet called Earth.  Knowing that its surrender would bring me no joy, I left them to their own devices and flew several thousand miles away, where I could hide behind a plasma shield and cry myself to sleep.

Hours after I'd arrived, I heard a knock on the shield.  At first, I just assumed that it was a stray comet, but shortly afterward, the knocking grew louder... faster... harder.  I felt a strange tingle in the vent leading to my power core, which glowed more and more brightly as the knocking continued.  I was frightened by these unfamiliar sensations, but I managed to pull myself together just long enough to ask in my most feminine monotone voice who was there. 

I never received an answer... the knocking just become harder and faster.  I gasped with fear and a little delight as the tiny hole in my shield grew until it revealed my visitor.  The sight of him made my eyes widen and my mouth water.  I could tell from his temptingly long cannon that he was sent by our enemies on Earth, but I couldn't help myself.  From the moment I saw his steel body gleaming in the starlight, I knew that he was destined to satisfy me in a way nothing else could.  He was my space captain.

I paced back and forth impatiently, blowing him flaming kisses as he continued to open the shield.  Soon, he turned his attention to me, firing round after round of wonderfully hot lasers that caressed my love-starved body.  The Quark beams overwhelmed me... I moaned as my vent grew wide, unveiling a power core burning with anticipation.  Then, after what seemed like a lifetime, that glorious moment finally arrived!  He fired one last perfectly aimed shot which streaked toward my gaping wide vent.  I exploded with delight, screaming as it pierced my throbbing core!

At that very moment, I knew that I was finally complete.