"Haven't I seen you before?" Minos glared at Mengshi.

Mengshi had no time for explanation. "It's a long story," she snapped, her tone of voice indicating that this was explanation enough, as she unfolded her wings. She flew past Minos - pointing her rapier at him as a warning - and through the gates of hell. The Phantom Train seemed only an inconvenience, so she simply soared over it and streaked down the pit of hell herself.

* * *

"Woobaby, Fei, you can sure stand tall and shake my heavens," Chu-Chu grinned as she paged eagerly through Casper the Homosexual Friendly Ghost Meets Wong Fei Fong. She had taken up residence in what had been Mengshi's tree; Miang had dragged her back after her failed escape. It wasn't where she wanted to be, but she was managing to find ways to kill time. And kittens.

The door creaked open and Mengshi poked her head through. "Oh, Hyne!" she exclaimed, slamming the door shut as quickly as possible and praying she would not be permanently blinded.

Oh no! The Colonel is still here! Well, as much fun as she was having, it seemed she had more important business to take care of. Chu-Chu tossed her doujinshi back on the stack, cleaned up as best as she could, and trundled outside to catch Mengshi. Fortunately, the human woman was waiting just outside.

"I was just reading it for the articles," Chu-Chu announced defensively.

Mengshi did not reply. What could she say to that?

"Um, did chu not make it out?" Chu-Chu frowned, deeply concerned.

"Oh!" It hadn't occured to her that Chu-Chu had no knowledge of what had happened to her. "No, no, I did. And Quistis was waiting for me just like she promised." She sighed happily. "And then I came back for you. I... there's trouble at Garden; Yuffie was right. There's black mages and mice everywhere. But Rinoa is back with us." She rattled off all the news in the order it came to her.

Chu-Chu's eyes widened with happy surprise. "Oh my!" she exclaimed. "That's wonderful! Oh, what a relief!" She closed her eyes and bowed her head. "Praise be to Mambo."

"So... can we get going? I'd rather not stay here any longer than I have to."

Chu-Chu grinned again. "Of course! Chu-Chu will go get her stuff. Thank chu, Colonel!" She retreated back inside her room to pack up her meager collection of sex toys and religious paraphernalia.

Mengshi sighed and frowned. Well, this was easy enough, but she was only rushing through this to try to avoid confronting her more troubling goal. Because no matter how much she tried to remove herself from the problem, to run away before she had second thoughts, she knew she would not being able to let go, not be able to shake the feeling that she had to do something.

Miang.

Hyne, what was she supposed to do about her? The whole flight down she had been wondering whether she would see her supposed nemesis again -- and whether or not that would be a good thing. Yes, this little mission would certainly be easier if she could just grab Chu-Chu and run, but ... try as she might, she couldn't bring herself to abandon the woman. Because that's what she would be doing. She was the only one could help Miang, and she would not turn her back on her.

Yes, Miang had some seriously wrong-headed ideas and was hardly fit to be part of society in her present state. But Mengshi knew that Miang could be more, was worth the effort to reform her. Not that there wasn't any who wasn't. Miang's failings went hand-in-hand with the bad times she lived in -- one led to the other and vice versa. And so those bad times would go on unless she stepped up and did something to end them. After all, she was SeeD's human resources director. She was used to looking for the seeds of talent and good in other people - it was just herself that she took such a low view of. And she knew that Miang wanted more than anything else to help the world, loved it with a ferocity the likes of which were matched by none she knew. Except maybe Selphie, she added a lingering mental footnote as her thoughts plowed on. The torture Miang put herself through was a testament to it. It was like Quistis what had done for her, Mengshi noted. No one who did not have another's best intentions always at heart could endure such endless brutality in their name.

But she still had to figure out how to convince Miang to forsake her self-imposed duty. What could she say to awaken Miang to the fact that the world wanted her for herself? She knew how hard it for Quistis to convince her of it, and, indeed, she was only truly able to believe it after being forced to defend it from others. Miang did not have that luxury. Yes, there was the book Edea had given her. But would that be to prove to Miang that that life was not a zero-sum game? And Mengshi couldn't forget that they were waiting for her back in Garden, that they needed her to get out as quickly as possible to save the building and its residents from Mother Brain's rampage.

Ugh. Yeah, that summed it up pretty well.

Her deliberation ended only when Miang stepped out of the trees. Well, that settled one issue. She was going to have to talk to Miang, to try to somehow impart in her in a matter of minutes what could only really be learned with experience.

Though Miang's arms were folded in an accusatory stance, her voice and eyes betrayed some relief at seeing Mengshi again, a relief Mengshi knew Miang hated herself for feeling. "You came back."

Mengshi smiled and nodded, trying to best on the face she could. She could not show any doubt if she was to convince Miang to escape. "For Chu-Chu. And you."

"I'm not leaving," Miang insisted. "I can't leave." She seemed prepared for this debate; she must have anticipated that Mengshi would try to get her out. Which was probably a good thing, Mengshi thought. It meant that Miang had at least entertained the notion of escape in her mind.

"Why not?" Mengshi went for the Socratic dialogue.

"Because if I try to leave, I'll just end up even lower down. You do know that I tried to march out of hell once too? Yunalesca talked me out of it. And she's right. If I wasn't playing the villain, someone else would have to do it. Either that or nobody would be here to guide the suicides back to life. And neither of those are going to happen as long as I still have any capabilities to stop it."

"So you did tell me all that and chase after me to motivate me to escape hell."

Her hollow eyes turned away from Mengshi. "Of course," she murmured. "I have no desire to force anyone else to suffer like this. I wouldn't allow myself to let it happen. I would have helped you escape no matter what you said to me. But you were still the first person to come down here who ever cared about my happiness. That's more than anyone else ever gave me. Which is why I owe you more than anyone all the happiness I can give you. Please. Go back to Garden, go back to Quistis, and be happy. Let me disappear; let me give you what you deserve."

It took few words from Miang for Mengshi to understand. Miang sounded all too much like Mengshi once had. And not as long ago as she would have liked to think, either. Amazing how much a short amount of times could change the world all around. She understood the problem. It was like emotional anorexia. Miang was incredibly self-sacrificing, unreasonably so, but when she looked at herself she only saw much more non-existent she had to be. She hated herself for leaving such a footprint on the world; nothing less than complete self-effacement and eradication of her self would satisfy her.

Well, there was no use in holding anything back. She might as well as unleash her secret weapon now; she could not force out any thoughts that were anything less than her complete feelings and knowledge.

"I was told to show you this," Mengshi proclaimed, opening Cid's book to the marked page. She presented the spread pages to Miang. It was the two-page photograph of the Nisan chapel. Two figures, each with a single wing, together they lifting each other towards heaven. "You can't do everything by yourself."

Miang was silent for a moment, steeling herself. "I have to," she insisted. Mengshi's words seemed to having an effect on her, though, as her overly rigid expression indicated that she was struggling to constrain her emotions.

"Why?"

"I already told you why," Miang repeated. "Because I don't belong in a world of life. I exist only to suffer in others' stead. You, on the other hand, have a wonderful future ahead of you, and I wouldn't dream of taking it away from you. You need Quistis and Quistis needs you. What are you waiting for?"

"You."

Miang shrugged. "I wouldn't be happy up there, Mengshi. If I did try to be happy, I'd end up making you unhappy and my conscience would not permit me to do that."

"Who says that your happiness has to conflict with mine or anyone else's?"

"Isn't it obvious? It's the way things always are, Mengshi. There's nothing you can do for me. Now go away." She did an about-face and stepped away with the measured, unnaturally cautious pace of one who wanted to make a big show of leaving but couldn't quite drag herself away.

Dammit! Mengshi cursed mentally. Just when she thought she was making progress, she had been sent back to square one. But she would not turn away.

Before Mengshi could speak again, Chu-Chu finally emerged from the tree. She was carrying all her stuff in her purse and little backpack, but she looked confused and worried. "I can't find my compass," she announced, having apparently already given up the search.

"Oh, no." Mengshi frowned sympathetically. She was trying to devote some attention to this new problem - because Chu-Chu clearly wanted some - but still keep an eye on Miang.

"I mean, Chu-Chu knows it's kind of broken now anyway, but ... it has a lot of sentchumental value, chu know?" She frowned thoughtfully. "But... Chu-Chu knows that her faith is in the Wondrous Mambo God is the same no matter how muchu I pray. I don't really need a compass chu help me find Him. So we can go without it." She looked up at Miang, who had halted her retreat entirely now. "Is Miang coming with us chu?"

The question was directed at Mengshi, but Mengshi looked expectantly at Miang, prodding her to answer.

Miang turned to look back at them. It was obvious to Mengshi that her heart was begging to answer affirmatively, that this was all she had ever dreamed of actually being offered to her, right now. But Mengshi still feared that Miang would be too scared to take it.

Miang's hand slipped inside her pocket and closed on what was inside. Chu-Chu's compass had fallen out of her purse during her skirmish with the Calcobrina, and - unbeknownst to its owner - Miang had taken it. She had seen how much Mengshi's little yang symbol, and how much Chu-Chu's faith, had given them hope, and she had given into self-indulgence for once by attempting to posses some comfort of her own. And she did. Holding the compass was reassuring; it let her dream of going up, up, up like the needle pointed, of someday again believing in something bigger her. She felt so guilty for having it, though. For entertaining thoughts of abandoning her duty, and for stealing the compass from its rightful owner.

And if she let Mengshi and Chu-Chu leave now, she would never be able to return it. And she knew that wasn't right. But ... she couldn't give it back, either, without revealing that she did desire to leave, had seriously thought about it. "I..."

"Yes?" Mengshi prodded her eagerly.

It wasn't fair. It just didn't make sense. Miang collapsed in tears, finally at her wit's end. "How do you it?" she sobbed. "How do you make everything happen right for you?"

Mengshi hurried over to her, knelt and embraced her. Miang's outburst had caught her a bit off guard, and while she took no joy from Miang's tears, she was inwardly satisified to see Miang finally admitting she want to leave. Mengshi held Miang, stroking her hair and murmuring soothingly. "It's okay; it's okay." It was just like when Quistis had comforted her in hell, except that Mengshi was now the one doing the comforting. But rather than be a confusing role reversal, the parallels were reassuring for Mengshi; she had been in this situation before and could remember what Quistis had done for her.

"How do you do it?" Miang repeated, still in tears.

Mengshi gently wiped the tears from Miang's cheeks. "It's faith, Miang," she whispered. "If you find something positive to believe in, the rest will follow. And we'll find you something to believe in. Something that you don't have to destroy yourself over."

"I... I can't do it anymore," Miang apologized to the world in general. She had failed in her duty to be completely unflappable; her failings had gotten the better of her and she could defend the world no more. "I'm sorry."

"You know why you're so frustrated? Why you have such a hard time making yourself do these things?" Mengshi took one of Miang's hands in her own and placed it over Miang's heart. "Because you know here that you're not worthless, and you can have a better life than this." Of course, it was far easier for her to say these things than for Miang to truly incorporate them into her worldview. She knew from experience that taking a message to heart and changing one's thinking was not easy. And she only had had to battle a few weeks of errors - or, she had to admit, maybe 24 years. But not ten thousand. "No one was meant to live in complete self-denial. It's impossible. You wouldn't be able to do it no matter how hard you tried."

Miang finally hugged her back, burying her face in Mengshi's shoulder. "I'm sorry; I'm so sorry. You're right. I want to get out; I really do, but I..."

"Shh, it's fine," Mengshi whispered, holding Miang to her. "I'll help you. You can come to Garden with me. You're a good person." She was not trying to convince Miang of anything now, but simply tossing out reassuring statements to bolster Miang in the ferocious battle that was raging between her and her complexes.

"Suffering is virtue." Miang seemed to revert back for a second, repeating her old ideas as a desperate mantra to reassure herself in the face of these confusing new ideas. "Without evil there can be no good, so it must be good to be evil."

There is no vice so simple but assumes some mark of virtue in his outward parts, Mengshi repeated in her head. She could not let Miang's claims of righteousness ever bring to start thinking that Miang was right. "That's where you went wrong, Miang," she murmured. "You can have good without evil. There isn't evil. There's only... good and good that hasn't yet awakened."

Miang sighed deeply. Her tears had stopped for the moment, and she leaned heavily against Mengshi, drained. "I guess it's that after the purpose of my existence for 10,000 years came to nothing, I had to find some way to justify what I did. That at least I could claim sort of moral victory. So I wouldn't be wrong..."

"Miang, there's no shame in being wrong. We all make mistakes. I know I have. But ... I know I'm a good person, and that Quistis loves me in spite of my failings." She closed her eyes and inhaled for a moment as she activated her sorceress powers in preparation for the next step. Her wings unfolded as she continued to talk. "And ... you don't have to put others' needs before yours. It's one thing to give up your wants for someone else's needs. That makes you a concerned person, a good person who puts others' survival ahead of your own comforts. But to give up your own needs? It's self-defeating. Imagine if everyone did that. You can't have every single person giving themselves up for someone else."

"Yeah." Miang sighed. "I know you're right. It's just ... so hard to make myself believe it."

Mengshi gently tilted Miang's head back and kissed her on the forehead. "I know. I've been through it too. But I'm going to help you out." She straightened her body. "Hit me, Miang."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Miang gave Mengshi a half-hearted tap on the arm.

"No, hit me."

"Fine," Miang snapped. Her irritation at this seemingly pointless request - and at all the time she'd wasted - translated into a sharp jab at Mengshi's chest. As soon as Miang struck her so, Mengshi's left wing flickered out of existence.

"There," Mengshi smiled. "Now you have one too."

"You just..." Miang could not believe what she had been duped into doing.

"I'm half a sorceress. You're half a sorceress. And we're going to fly out of here together, just like I showed you in that book."

"I don't know how to fly." "I'll show you."

* * *

Mengshi, Miang, and Chu-Chu stood on one of the highest branches of the tall meeting-house tree. "I can't do this," Miang said, gazing down at the drop towards the forest below them. She was supposed to jump off this and start flying? No ... maybe Mengshi could do that, but not her. "I'm going to get lost somewhere, and I won't even be able to get back to where we are now. I can't risk it."

"Yes, you can," Mengshi insisted. "You'll never know what you can do unless you try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Miang took several deep breaths until at least the dizzying heights of her perch were no longer settling. But actually jumping off? She couldn't imagine how she could do it. "How do you fly?" she demanded desperately. This was not the place to be experimenting for the first time. "I've never had... just... a wing before. How do I know how to use it?"

Mengshi soundly reprimanded for what sprung into her mind. It was one of those quotes that Mikoto was so fond of repeating over and over at the slightest provocation, and she resented it solely because it had been shoved down her throat so many times. But it was terribly fitting now, and she knew it wasn't really right to hate it because someone else liked it so much.

"Throw yourself at the ground at the miss."

"That's an interesting way of putting it."

"I mean it. Don't worry about flying. It will come naturally to you when the time is right. Just attack the ground, the air; jump into it with all you've got. You can do it, Miang. I believe in you."

"And what if I can't? If I fall all the way down and end up even lower in hell?"

"Then at least you tried," Mengshi answered with quiet wisdom. "And you can have the peace of mind that comes from knowing that you did all you could."

"That's no peace of mind at all," Miang retorted. "It only means I wasn't good enough, that I was created a failure."

"Then you have to accept what you can't change," Mengshi shot back just as quickly. Then her expression turned more pleading. "Please, Miang. I know it's hard. I felt the same way when I died, that I had failed everyone and that nothing I could do was ever good enough for Quistis. But I... it's just not true. I'm alive now, right? People will love you, Miang. I love you. Please, Miang. For me. Remember, I've only got one wing now; I'm not getting out of here without you."

Miang was silent, motionless for a second. She's going to do it, Mengshi thought. And she did. Miang screamed a war cry and threw herself headfirst from the branch, intent on diving into the immutable earth with all she had. I'm attacking the ground, she yelled in her head as she started crashing through the treetops. I'm not falling. I'm going to make it. I-

A single feathery wing unfolded from her back and began beating.

Miang's plummet screeched to a halt and she hovered in the air, dangling from her one wing. She did not have the power with just one wing to really rise upwards. But she was still flying. And Mengshi was applauding and cheering from above.

Miang looked up in time to watch her new friend tuck Chu-Chu under one arm and jump off; Mengshi's remaining wing blossomed to support her. She drifted gently down to Miang's side. "Congratulations," Mengshi said, a huge grin on her face.

"Thanks," Miang said weakly. What else could she say? But ... it was enough. Thanks. Mengshi had done something for her. And to someone who had labored ten thousand years only to protect the world, there was something profound about that. Nothing she could do -- and she had tried plenty -- could make Mengshi hate her. Nothing could prevent Mengshi from showing her kindness and appreciating her existence.

She had a friend.

Mengshi took Miang's hand in hers so that they could aid each other's flight. "I told you we could make it."

"Now what?" Miang asked.

Mengshi pointed upwards with her free hand. "Balamb Garden," she said. "Welcome home. And, Chu-Chu, could you please find somewhere else to hold onto me?"

Next chapter: Through Being Cool