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The Garrs' Mailbag - November 26th, 1998

The Garrs take on religion, Metal Gear Solid, juggling, Yuffie, Swordians, and Balio and Sunder in their edition of the Mailbag. With lots of Corporal Dan references!

Q: Hey, BOFIII Garr,

Since you found out your religion was messed up and stuff, have you ever considered joining the Happy Happy Cult?
Garr-BOF3 sez: I'm an atheist now.
Garr-TOD sez: Our religion isn't corrupt! We just had one corrupt priest. How did that happen?

-BenGrande

Blue! Blue! Join the cult!

1) I hope you don't mind me asking, but who the hell are you?
Garr-TOD sez: Which one of us?

2) Isn't Metal Gear Solid a really cool game; maybe not the "world's best", but a really cool one!?
Garr-BOF3 sez: Yeah, but why did it take so long to come out? We need more sequels!
Garr-TOD sez: Watch out, he's a Capcom character.

3) Speaking of Metal Gear Solid, you know how in the first level, after you fight Vulcan you get the level 3 card key and you go into the nuclear building? Well, once you go in there, where do you go?
Garr-BOF3 sez: Go see Emmerich.
Garr-TOD sez: I can't think of anything to say here.

4) When is Chrono Trigger 2 coming out?
Garr-TOD sez: It ain't.

5) Why the hell hasn't my FF X-Mas MST been posted!?
Garr-BOF3 sez: I don't know, why the hell haven't you seen it!?

6) When did the DreamCast poll start?
Garr-TOD sez: Monday, why?

7) The editorial section was missing? I thought it turned into the Features sections.

I think that's all for now. Bye.

Salutations,
The Anomynous Reader

2. If you could beat up anyone on the regular mailbag team, who would it be and why?
Garr-BOF3 sez: Cait Sith, he's really annoying.
Garr-TOD sez: Yeah, same here.
Corporal Dan sez: Freeze, evildoers!
Garr-BOF3 sez: Oh my, it's Corporal Dan, from the E-Town Police!

3. Are those big wings of yours just for the purposes of getting chicks, or can you actually use them to fly around if you wanted to?
Garr-BOF3 sez: We're flightless now. Like chocobos or that one kind of fat parrot with no beak that just sort of waddles around.
Igtenos sez: Kakapos?
Garr-BOF3 sez: Yeah, that's it.

4. Why are all the other Guardians so much stronger and better than you are? I mean, seriously, even the one who "fell from grace" had better attacks than you.

5. What's your theory on the creation of the universe?

Well, that's about it for my mindless ramblings... at least, for now... mwahaha...
Garr-TOD sez: Hey, how come he didn't ask me anything?

~The Great Green Arkelseizure

Q: Wow, I never thought my suggestion would work. Well on with the questions. These are all mainly for Garr from Breath Of Fire 3.

1. In an arm wrestling match between you and an old stale piece of cheese, who would crack first?
Garr-BOF3 sez: The cheese! In the words of Grom Hellscream, "I... am... IRONMAAAAN!"

2. Can you juggle a ferret, 3 bowling balls, and mayor Domino all at the same time?
Garr-TOD sez: I can't, but the other Garr probably can.
Garr-BOF3 sez: Hrrrrghja!

3. If you got drunk one night, and joined the navy and got a tattoo that said Ozzy rules! what would you do?
Garr-BOF3 sez: I have no idea.

4. You know you should really stop yelling every time you throw that spear, your gonna wear you voice out!
Garr-BOF3 sez: Argfjdda!
Garr-TOD sez: I can only understand when he says "Kyrie". I like our spell quotes better.
Rutee sez: Hot Tomato!
Bruiser sez: Leave the cookie jar alone or there'll be an incident!
Philia sez: TRACTOOOOOO BEAM!

Thanks!
-Dan The Hippy

Garr I don't know why everyone hates you,probably because they,re jealous of you.
Garr-BOF3 sez: Which one of us?
Garr-TOD sez: Yeah, there's two of us here.

Well here my questions-

1.What is that you yell in battle when score a critical hit Cherio or fruity o's?
Garr-BOF3 sez: Argfjdda!

2.Whats your gender besides Guardian?I mean that beak and wings are freaky?
Garr-BOF3 sez: Um, I'm male.
Garr-TOD sez: Yeah, same here. And Igtenos too.

3.Why were you and Balio and Sunder friends before you killed them.
Garr-BOF3 sez: We weren't. Balio and Sunder are bad, they're like those two guys in Showdown who knock down stop signs.

Yo. You guys rule. I have some questions.

1) How many Garrs are there?
Garr-BOF3 sez: Two at present. Me, and Mr. Kelvin.
Garr-TOD sez: Except my name is actually Woodward; they changed it to Garr in the English version.

2) BoF3 Garr, how come you're still alive? I thought you turned to stone at the end of the game.
Garr-BOF3 sez: D'oh.
Garr-TOD sez: Now look what you've done, you've turned him to stone.

3) Do any of you know Yuffie personally? I'd like to hook up with her.
Garr-TOD sez: Here comes another one!
Garr-BOF3 sez: Fruity-O's!
(Garr smashes the Yuffie cultist with his spear)
Garr-BOF3 sez: Hee hee, I just love knocking down Yuffie fans.
Garr-TOD sez: Yeah, we're gonna see some real carnage tonight.
Fritz sez: For the unenlightened, the above was yet another Corporal Dan reference.

4) Garr Kelvin, what was it like knowing a Swordian?
Garr-TOD sez: Better a talking sword than a talking warhead!
Tim sez: I've got explosives! Kaboooooom!

5) How many of you hate Cait Sith?
Igtenos sez: See above.

Okay, rock. Keep it real. (Or Unreal, 'cuz you're all video game characters).

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