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The Mailbag - November 14th, 1998

In this edition of the Mailbag, the gang takes on, and welcomes a new staff member. Today is Stone Cold-free day, and Hanpan has been restrained from using any of his Stone Cold-isms.

Q: I'm bored, so I'll write to you guys.

1st of all, some things Fritz might consider doing.

1st of all, keep the site.
Spencer sez: Consider it already taken care of.

2nd, explain the drinking game. Then it could be funny.
Hanpan sez: Sorry, this site is intended for ages 6 and up. Simpleton.

3rd, KILL KEFKA!!!
Grom sez: Kefka, TIME TO DIE!!!!!

4th, get some new Grom quotes soon.
Grom sez: We already have the full list! I am Iron Man!!!!

And now for some questions...

What does Cait Sith's 8 ball say besides drink Coke, play again?
Cait sez: Occasionally it says that you're a winner. Rufus used it once, and he won a free minivan. That bastard.

Can you have Pikachu star with the normal people (er, things) from the Mailbag?
Cait sez: No, he's evil!

Is Cait Sith a Sith tat is Cait? Or a Cait tat is Sith?

Is Hanpan a pan tat is Han? Or a Han tat is pan?

Hanpan sez: No comment.
Cait sez: I am Cait, Cat Lord of the Sith!

If Yuffie had you in a corner and was going to kill you, what would you say and what would you do? Can everyone answer this?
Grom sez: I can kill her! Tell me what to dooooo!

Have you heard this funny qoute from Metal Gear Solid?
Meryl:"You killed the DARPA chief! You bastard!"
Hanpan sez: My overpowering intelligence tells me that isn't the first time this quote has been used. In Shining Force 3, Dantares says "You killed General Fafhard! You bastard!", and in Panzer Dragoon Saga, you can examine one of the tables in the pub to get a message that says "They killed Kenny" (coincidentally, this is the only interesting part of PD Saga). And, finally, in Zork Grand Inquisitor, if you stand outside the tent where the guards are at the end of the game, one of them will eventually say "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!". You're welcome.

Will Cait Sith be in your next fanfic? After all, he IS cute and marketable?
Cait sez: In the words of Professor Daravon, "Off course!"

What the heck is so nice about Rufus's door? And what would you do to that hair he has? All of y'all know, please answer.
Cait sez: Believe me, I have no idea what Rufus sees in that door.
Spencer sez: It's, um, a nice door, I guess, but I'm not in love with it.

That's all (mainly because AOL is asking me if I wanna stay online).
Tanx 4 lis'nin (no offense to Barret),
Mark
Cait sez: Hey, he dropped the Talon Chief Crew thing. What's gotten into you?

In case you didn't get any of my former mail, I am Shera's twin brother, and I'd like to know our last name, (considering if we have any.)
Cait sez: You don't. Make up one.
Max sez: Oooh! Call yourself the Kng o' Spoiled Potato Salad!

Anyway, I'd like to take this time to say that I think Yuffie is the greatest, she really is. On the side, I've been seeing her family in, well, I forget the name of the place, but she knows about me. I hope that we will be happy together someday.
Cait sez: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? Spencer, you've betrayed us!
Hanpan sez: It appears that he has succumbed to the vile forces of Yuf. We must destroy him for the good of the Earth.
Cait sez: I don't need you, Spencer! You're not my press secretary anymore. I'm hiring... Corporal Dan!
Corporal Dan sez: Anyone around here for me to kill?

I also moved into a lighthouse near Costa Del Sol, one that I built with my own two hands. Believe me, I also like to be in a fanfic, perhaps a Guardian Amulet, Cid Wars, or any other you can think of.
Cait sez: You will be... as a bad guy! Traitor!
Corporal Den sez: Hey, Spencer, come over here, I got a present for you.
Spencer sez: Oooh, a present. I like presents.
(Corporal Dan ignites Spencer's head with a stove)
Spencer sez: Aaaaah! My head! MY FRICKIN' HEAD!

Spencer.

S.?.+Y.K.(If she'll have me)

1. How often will the mailbag be updated?
Cait sez: Five times a week, supposedly. Two of us, and three of some GUEST EDITOR FREAKS!

2. If you ever have a section in which normal people send in sound's of their voices for FF7 characters (or any other characters for that matter), could I do Cait Sith's voice?
Cait sez: What can I say, 'cept that Fritz was thinking about exactly such a section... although he was probaly going to do it for Beath of Flams.

3. Do you have a good feeling?
Cait sez: In my fanfics, I do.
Hanpan sez: We'd post some of his work here for you to see, but they're not appropriate for all audiences... or any audience, for that matter.
Cait sez: Shut up, Hanpan.

4. I am MSTing one my favorite FanFics: A Final Fantasy 7 Christmas. Can I finish it?
Hanpan sez: The fanfic? I dunno, it depends on how long it takes you to read it.

5. Is Cait Sith going to be in Cid Wars 3: Return of the Thundergod? A FanFic without Cait Sith is like a video game without me (Did that make any sense to you?)!
Cait sez: Yes, I am in it. One of the main characters, of course... as always, nobody can get enough of cute, adorable, lovable, marketable, me.

6. I need a number six. The more the questions, the more intelligent you sound (Why is it that I can already hear Hanpan saying the word "Simpleton"?).
Hanpan sez: Simpleton.

Questions aside, now. I just wanna say that Cait Sith STILL rules! And he's STILL da bomb! So all of you better find shelter, cause here comes da BOMB (Is Grom Hellscream reading this? I can already predict what he would add to this.)! And it's still cool to e-mail such cool people! KICK ASS!
Grom sez: BOMBS ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Cait sez: Hee hee, thanks. Somebody likes me, I'm happy. Must be my natural aura of charisma.

-- Snifit 2 (Master Gamer)

Q: Hey-hey! Cait, Hanpan, Max, Grom, Spencer (phew)! You're all back! Whoohoo! Anyway, I've got a pet armadillo with a trenchcoat ready to sell you a bowling--er, I mean to say that I have some questions. Jeez, is it just this cold I have or was that last sentence really stupid?
Cait sez: I want the bowling ball.

Cait--What's the word on Cid Wars 3?
Cait sez: The word is "spiffy". Remember, scream if anybody says the magic word.

Hanpan--Ever thought of having a manager for the EMW? You know, like Vince McMahon or something. Then you could have a grudge against him like Stone Cold, and, er, you get the idea.
Hanpan sez: Sorry, due to popular demand, I can't talk about EMW today.

Max--Do you think the guy in the Biggest Ball of Twine is related to Cid?
Cait sez: Now that you mention it, yes.
Max sez: He's one of the many people I'm glad I'm not.

Grumm, d'oh, GROM--Who do you think is more effective, Dragons or Death Mages? The Dragons have the height advantage, but Death Mages have that mean right cross (sorry, Nick Diamond reference).
Grom sez: Death Mages; the sound when they use Death Coil is cool. I am Ironmaaaan!
Cait sez: Nick Diamond sucks.
Hanpan sez: No, he doesn't, he's spiffy.
Cait sez: You said the magic word!
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Spence--What's it like working with all these guys?
Cait sez: Spencer ain't here no more.
Corporal Dan sez: We kicked his head onto the railroad tracks.

--Yours 231-ly,
Serpent231

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