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Pikachu's Mailbag - November 13th, 1998

In his edition of the Mailbag, Pikachu takes on pika, pikachu, pika ka chu, pika pika pikachu, and pika ka ka.

Q: :::wanders about in a big yellow robe like a sephy cultist:::
Pi . . . ka . . . chu . . . Pi . . . ka . . . chu
Well, now that the formalities are out of the way, howzit going?
I was wondering, how did you ever keep that Ketchum kid in the dark about the whole teletubby consipracy? I think he would've flipped out if he heard about that one. I know that as the great lord Pikachu, you don't see the inside of a pokeball much, but what is in there? I mean, is it like suspended animation, or does it lead to a pocket monster pocket dimesion? If it does lead to a small dimension, is there furniture inside, like little pokecouches, pokeTVs, pokefridges, and doors imported from Castlevania? Do you ever get chased down abnormally long hallways in the 'Canyon by Cait, I mean . . . he is a cat, although an incredibly funny and magical one, and you're a mouse, although an insanely kawaii and powerful one.
Pikachu sez: Ka pika pika pika. Chu pika pi.
Daravon's translation: You are wasting my time, mortal. If you have something to say, obtains ignition with him.

Truly Strange Questions:
Can you explain this: Is Crono's hair merely a DBZ reference, or is there more to the fact that it looks like his arch enemy, Lavos?
Pikachu sez: Pika pi pi chu.
Daravon's translation: It has more to do with the fact that Akira Toriyama made the designs of the character for CT.

If Vicks and Wedge fought Kenny (as in the failed deathmatch) who would respawn first?
Pikachu sez: Chu pi pika chu pika!
Daravon's translation: Cu6na and Biggs, die all the hour, but Kenny dies only once by epsiode.

Would you say "BECAUSE STONE COLD PIKACHU SAID SO" or is that copyright infringement?
Pikachu sez: Chu pi pika chu pika pikachu. Pika pika pi chu. Pika?
Daravon's translation: due to the EMW regulations, I cannot copy catchphrases of other fighters of EMW. Nevertheless, I can defy the weak Hanpan and demand that phrase like my the own one. Who is following?

Why didn't you get an offer to join The Cute Animal Characters, Or did you?
Pikachu sez:

What do you think of the Team Rocket speech? Will it appear in any fanfics? Are you plotting a total overthrow of the game industry with stuff like Pikachufighter, Pikachu's Mysterious Dungeon, Tactics Pikachu, GoldenPikachu 025, and, of course, Beath of Pikachus, or was that my idea?

I feel the need to get JigglyPuff with it. Should I?
Pikachu sez: Pika pika pikachu pika pikachu pika.
Daravon's translation: Yes. Jigglypuff is one of mine seguicamme. With Chansey and Kabutops, General is one of mine three main and that it has been demonstrated that in the battles countless against the heretics of mew. Yes.

Who is more evil: Yuffie, Evil Cid, or Zenogias?

Pikachthulu: Principia Discordia reference . . . or Conspiracy?
Pikachu sez: Pika pika Pikachu pikacthulu pika pika.
Daravon's translation: Pikacthulu is my final evolution, Pokémon # 520. Although I did not carry out this form yet, I know that it is composed of a yellow mouse-like the body with ugly squid-like the head. Before I can carry out this final evolution I must demolish miaule in mortal engagements. However, I am really bad and do not know any of the special movements, thus this can take one moment.

Say hi to Bob, he wanders about on my AOL members Webpage all day long, trying to walk on two feet.
Pikachu sez: Pika pika!
Daravon's translation: Arc before me, foolish mortal!

It's been fun to write to ya'. You may be no. 25 on the Pokedex, but you'll always be No. 1 with all the RPG and Anime fans!
Pikachu sez: Pika pika pikachu. Pika pika Pikachu pika pikachu. Pikachu pika.
Daravon's translation: You he is one of blessed. As a member of PNRC (new classroom to govern of Pikachu), you it will be intitled to many benefits, such as enslaved and/or maimed and did not kill when I conquer the world. It thanks it for its cooperation.

-Brandon (That TCA Guy), A.K.A. Screensaver Boy

1. Do you ever say anything else besides Piku? Damn I swear you are annoying as hell!
Pikachu sez: Pikachu pika.
Daravon's translation: Prepararsi in order to die.

2. What did you think of Plastic Sprocket Liquid, err...I mean Metal Gear Solid?
Pikachu sez: Pikachu pika! Pika pika pikachu pi.
Daravon's translation: Better Game Of The World? It has, not task therefore. Those people that it does not believe in my pontenza will find crushed. I find their lack of faith disturbance.

3. Do you agree with me that Cait Sith sucks?
Pikachu sez: Pika. Pikachu pika pikachu.
Daravon's translation: Yes. Heathen is not only one, it was involved in a plant to destroy my mandril And Queijo loyal, Pokémon # 747. .

Thank you.

-The Poor Bloke Who Spoke

Anti-Glick :
Hey Pikachu, I really, really hate you, you gave me epilepsy!
Pikachu sez: Pika pika pika! Pikachu pikachu!
Daravon's translation: What the hell you have smoked? Epilepsy is an inherited stroke. I only gave apprehensions to those already with epilepsy. I am not a crook.

Now I'm gonna buy that Pikachu game with the microphone, just so I can yell at your fat, stupid, chubby, ignorant, badly animated face! Go to hell you stupid Pocket Monster! That turtle guy in Shining Force 2 that took 1hp off everyone could kick your ass! Why the hell did they give you a stupid animated series anyway? Bring back Captain N! Bring back The Super Mario Bros Super Show!
Pikachu sez: Pika pika! Piiikkaaa...
Daravon's translation: I do not hear! OH legends can you see...,

Uh... I still have Mog locked in my cupboard, does anyone care?

Neil sez :
Pika! Pika!
Pika! Pika!
Pika! Pika!
Pika! Pika!
Pika! Pika!
Pikachu sez: Pika pika? Pika pika PIKA?
Daravon's translation: * Keuchen * with YUFFIE? Are you serious?

Neil Hughes and The Anti-Glick

Q: Pika Pikachu,
Pi pi ka pika ka chu:
1. Pi ka pi kapika pi ka chu pi ka chu pika? Pi ka pi ka pika pikachu! Pi ka pika pi ka pi pi kachu!
2. Pi ka pika, pi ka?
3. Pi ka pi ka pi kachu?
4. Pi kachu pi ka kachu?
5. Pi ka pikachu pika pika pi ka pika pi ka pikachu?
6. Pi ka pi ka pika pika pi ka pikachu pika?
7. Pi ka pikachu pika chu?
8. Pi kachu pi ka pika pikachu pikapika pikachu pi?
9. Pikapika pi kachu pi kachu pi, chu?
10. Pi ka pi ka pikachu?

(Translation:
Dear Pikachu,
Here are some questions for you:
1. When will Fritz realize that you did not cause the seizures? You are just a cartoon character! You have nowhere near that kind of power!
Pikachu sez: Kapika pika pi.
Daravon's translation: I find your lack of the faith disturbing.

2. You hate Meowth, don't you?
Pikachu sez: Pika pika ka pi ka.
Daravon's translation: Yes. For a thing, he does not need this translator the idiot around to translate everything that he says.

3. Can I go out with Misty?
Pikachu sez: Kachu pi.
Daravon's translation: Be my guest.

4. Red version or blue version?
Pikachu sez: Ka pika pikachu.
Daravon's translation: Red color, does not have Meowth.

5. Is the Viridian Forest really just a forest that is viridian?
Pikachu sez: Pika pikachu pika TAT pikachu?
Daravon's translation: You do not mean a forest TAT is viridian?

6. Can I see you battle Hanpan in a Celebrity Deathmatch?
Pikachu sez: Pikachu pika pi pikachu.
Daravon's translation: I will be challenging it in tonight nitro of EMW, assuming that the Ratpac does not intervene.

7. Why is Pokerman mocking you?
Pikachu sez: Pika pika pikachu, pika pikachu.
Daravon's translation: Pokérman my bond villainous to gemellare. Fortunately, it is easy to identify due its sigaro, dressed of pinstripe and the Italian accent. Equally really it sucks in the battle.

8. Why haven't the police arrested Tomoyuki Takechi yet?
Pikachu sez: Pika?
Daravon's translation: Who?

9. Shogakukan can edit the seizure scene, right?
Pikachu sez: Pika ka pikachu!
Daravon's translation: And leaf my plans? NEVER!

10. Why are you so kawaii?)
Pikachu sez: Pika kachu pika pikachu pi pika pikachu.
Daravon's translation: Because St - no, it hopes, I cannot say that. Er, as soon as because.

Sincerely,
KawaiiKid

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