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The Mailbag - October 26th, 1998

Today's day-late edition of the Mailbag covers business cards, Fallout, Metal Gear Solid, Dawn of the Dead, Grom's pals, and Spencer's fan club. Thursday's guest editor will be none other than Pikachu, so send your questions and comments to Pikachu's Mailbag.

Q: Hey, how are yas?
I'm fine, but you probably don't need to take any B.S. from me. Sorry to waste your time.
But I got at least 4 questions. (non related to facists, FF7, or anything that you usually get asked)

1. What are your opinions on Resident Evil 2? Sorry, I'm a zombie maniac.
Cait sez: resident evil is an evil tat is resident
Grom sez: Grom want shoot humans, not zombies!
Spencer sez: Itchy. Tasty.

2. Have you seen Dawn Of The Dead? It rocks, but it's REALLY bloody.
Cait sez: Nope... I slept in until the Afternoon Of The Dead.
Hanpan sez: That wasn't even close to being funny. And that's the bottom line.

3. You seen Saving Private Ryan?
Cait sez: Yeah, it was great, except for the part with the tornado.
Hanpan sez: What tornado? Cait, what are you talking about? You haven't even seen Saving Private Ryan.
Cait sez: Shut up. Oh, yeah, and I liked the pterodactyl scene.

4. Do you think I could make a filmable movie script?
Max sez: Better that than an unfilmable one!

~F. (And call me Futsin)
Cait sez: Hey, Futsin. Has your foot committed a sin? Hee hee.

and that almost all heroes are sword-wielding fighters with spiky hair (common knowledge by now.) And Asellus...doesn't she look a lot like Terra? Speaking of Terra, have you noticed how in the pictures her skin is really pale, plus she has spots on her legs? Could this be some sorta disease?
Hanpan sez: That's her dress, stupid.
Cait sez: Yeah, it's gotta be the dress. Either that or Amano had problems coloring.
Fritz sez: I think Amano always has problems coloring... ::ducks flames::

What if the others catch it?!?! And if you've seen pictures (drawn, not game graphics) of Zelda 5, you've probably noticed that Link's face looks perfectly normal, but his limbs are really pale- sorta "zombie-ish". Does Link subscribe to the Resident Evil school of appearance maintenance, or is this something we don't want to know about?
Cait sez: Dude, you've completely forgotten about Anorexic Fencer Musashi. His mouth is wider than his arms. No, really.

P.S. In FF6...er, how can I put this...YOU REALLY SUCK!!! None of the spells you teach are that great, plus all you do is confuse enemy parties.
Cait sez: Hey, that's cool. And don't forget, one guy back in July thought I peed on enemies. No, really.

Why didn't you get your Mog to crush enemies or something? By the way, you looked really dorky in those boots. Does Luna know you dress that way?
Cait sez: DORKY!? That's high fashion! Those boots are certified "in"! Look, I paid an extra $80 for them just because it says "Infinity Genes" on them, even though I could have gotten the same boots without the name for half the price. Isn't that cool?

1. Vincent says "It's not what you're doing I mind so much as the idiotic way in which you're doing it." when you and the party chew out Don Corneo on top of Da-Chao in Wutai.

2. Wassailing - drinking to the health of; toasting something

Happy to be of service...

~The Anonymous Information-Giver

Cait sez: This was months ago! Why are you writing me now? Oh wait, you did write me months ago and I didn't post the letter until now. My bad.

Q: Hey guys,

Boy, I am sure forgetful today. I almost forgot to ask you this.

Is Spencer's fan-club up yet? And where is it?

the anomynous reader

Cait sez: No, but if you want to start one, go ahead.
Spencer sez: Wow, my very own fan club. I'll have to send out a press release.

Q: Hey, Cait Sith, Hanpan, Max, Grom, Spence, Kefka. Wait, Kefka isn't here anymore..
Kefka sez: Huh, huh, I am now.

Anyway, I've got some questions for each of ya:

1. Cait, do you have any plans of getting out of jail after what happened in your last fanfic?
Cait sez: Last fanfic? Which last fanfic? I wasn't in jail except in Cid Wars 2.

2.
[to be revealed later]

3. Max, is Sam still around?
Max sez: He got zapped by the forcefield-thingy on the cockroach city on the moon. I have his remains growing on my hand but I haven't bothered to resurrect him yet.

4. Grumm, er, Grom--you should have some different people with you each mailbag. You know, an Axethrower one day and a Peasant the next. That way, you'd have more to say. Well, you and your buddy, at least.
Grom sez: Okay!
Goblin Sappers say: WE'VE GOT EXPLOSIVES!

5. Spencer, are you working on another press release?
Spencer sez: Yes, I'm working on one announcing the founding of my fan club.

6. To nobody in particular: I think there must be a YUF chromosome spreading around, just look at all the Yuffie clones we have in our games today! Sakura, Nina, Krista Sparks (AKA Grasshopper from TM2), Ling Xiouyu, Anita (from Darkstalkers), etc. It's got to be stopped!
Cait sez: Well, I agree with you on Sakura and Nina... but you left out Rutee from Tales of Destiny, and Mei-Ling from SaGa Frontier. They're both Yuffie clones, and I think Chu Chu is like Yuffie's pet or something.
Hanpan sez: Let's open up a can of whoop-ass on them all! Who's next?

--Serpent231

And it's from me! Anyway...I felt like emailing you cause, I just did okay?
Cait sez: Okay. And this letter was addressed to me, so you other guys back off.

So, how did your trip go? did you go anywhere exciting? I bet you have pictures or at least ::shudder:: slides....never mind. anyway...I was wondering...
Cait sez: What? What trip? I'm not one of those Tokémon...

Why did you decide to retire the Mint Green cards? was is spur of the moment, or did you have an ALTERIOR motive??? hm???
Cait sez: I had no choice! That was all the reporter wanted to talk about! Good thing we defected to Iraq. I would never betray fans, all the little people who haven't done jack squat for me.
Kefka sez: Huh, huh, he said "defected".

Where can I get one of those banks that goes: Uwa ha ha! Foolish mortals! those are soo cool!!
Cait sez: Hades. It's kinda tricky getting one and coming back alive though... I'll loan you my "Deep Red" computer for only 100,000 gil...
Kefka sez: Deep Red... huh huh huh...
Goblin Sappers say: BOMBS ARE BEAUTIFUL!

And why do you need a megaphone? You are loud enough as it is...I think.
Cait sez: I LIKE BEING LOUD. CAPITAL LETTERZ ARE KEWL. WANT SOME WAREZ?
Kefka sez: YEAH, WAREZ ARE KEWL. DO U HAVE ANY MONEY 4 ME? I SAW THIS THING IN THE NEWSGROUPS 2 EARN LOTS OF MONEY FAST!

And stop picking on Rufus, it's not his fault he has bad hair!! It's what I'd call a real bad case of "bed head"!!!
Cait sez: I'm assuming this is a typo of "bad head".

Just your friendly Invisigirl!!

YIPPIE! Yer finaly back! Y'know you left at the worst possible time. I'm waiting for Fallout 2 and need something to occupy my time BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO! Okay anyway.

1. I bought Metal Gear Solid over the weekend.. it SUCKED ASS! So i returned it and got XenoGears. HELL YEAH! NOW *THATS* A GAME!
Cait sez: Why not play them both? XENOGEARS SOLID! *TACTICAL* *BORING* *DIALOGUE*!

2. Nina number 3 is NOT a minion of Yuffie! Shes a fox! A babe! Kudos to you Nina 3 SHAWING!
Cait sez: A lone, tortured, soul stands apart on the planes of sanity, screaming the twisted thoughts of his raving mind aloud the world.
Hanpan sez: Wow, Cait, that was really poetic. I didn't know you had it in you.
Grom sez: FEEEEEEELLLLLIIIIINNNNGSSSS!

3. Okay in the last mailbag before the server change Hanpan said he hated PARAPPA and yet in yesterdays mailbag he likes it. Splain.
Hanpan sez: I rented it and I hated it. What's the point of the game? It's stupid.
Cait sez: You gotta believe!

4. Buy fallout 2! it's gonna be killer!
Grom sez: I am Iron Man!

5. What do you guys think about Metal Gear Solid? Am I the only one who thinks it blows like Monica Lewinsky?
Goblin Sappers say: Want to see something that really blows? KABOOM!

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Thats all! So long! Toodle loo! - The Infamous Westward Stabber (Care of Vault 13)

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