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Cait Sith's Mailbag - August 29th, 1998

A grueling battle was fought last night in the Shinra Building parking lot between Cait Sith, Spencer the press secretary, and Stone Cold Hanpan and Cid and Owen Humphreys. Cid and Humphreys walked away the winner, and Cait's band was only saved from certain demise when Hanpan transformed into Mighty Mouse and used his Stone Cold Stunner to hold off Humphreys while Cait and Spencer made their escape. Cait Sith is taking the day off tomorrow to recuperate, so send your questions and comments to his replacement, Bugenhagen.

Q: Thought I'd tell you where Vincent said that quote, "It's not what you're doing I mind so much as the idiotic way in which you're doing it." He says it if you have it in your group when Don Corneo chooses Yuffie (NO COMMENT on taste there, I'll let you supply it so as not to make you miss out on a Yuffie Insultation Opportunity) at the optional Wutai (AKA the home of Darkness) event.
On another note, Cait, you have any idea if Reeve's single? The goatee's very cute. (smiles shyly)
Rachel

Cait Sith sez: oh ok (sorry i cant tpyp well my carm is in a slibg). i dnt htink vincent wyt there in my game. but cid p w as there anmd he had the memorable "myabe godfd forgive a 59934 like you but i wontt" polne.

Fritz sez: What Cait is trying to say is: But Cid was there and he had the memorable "Maybe God'd forgive a @*$&%$% like, but I won't" line.

You didn't answer my question yesteray. Oooohhh, you are going to pay for that. You are going to die, wa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ha ha aha h ah ha aha aha ahabaahhahahhahhahhahahahahahaha---*COUGH*!!! Sorry, some stuff got stuck in my throat. Well, anyway you don't know when it will come, but I will find your moogle, and unstuff him. Wa ha ahahahhaahhahha!!! Then I will pick you up by your tail, swing you around, and then tell Rufus he can take suckerpunches at you. Wa hahahahahhaah!!!! Then I will break his door and say you did it. Wa hahahahhahahahahahahh!!! Then... You don't even want to know. But I will tell Luna you cheated on her!!!!! Wa ahahahhahahahah. I will make your life miserable!!!!!! Wa hahhahahahahahahhaahahahhahahaha haahhahahaahahahahahhaahhahahahahah---*COUGH COUGH COUGH*!!!

That anomynous reader again

Cait sez: i;m alera d y in tracuytin an di i still get pepel,e threatbening me lie, this too. lvoely.

1. I thnk i knw how red XIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII... er 13 figts wth a comb y'see he atksbebttheingenemndthcombsmgiclasotheyenhncisstrngh (sry finger spasm)

2. cn i hve some mugnum prts?

3. This's th way!

4. LK OT BHIND YU!

5. Why is han pn sush a jerk?

6. will you get al the ff7 cst to send me flwrs? Im at midgar memoral hosptl

7. shld i write a rdr fanfic aboot my advntrs an inrys

Thts al 4 toady wsh me a spdy recovry!

The Hospitalized Westward Stabber

Cait sez: .oyu to huh? i'm in mdigar memorial hopsitple too hwat ward are you in/
1. he atksbebttheingenemndthcombsmgiclasotheyenhncisstrngh? are youer serious
2. idf on't have any they're tatl home
3. nto sits not im stuck in this hpostial in tractotion eating hopstiatle food
4. youre'r ar bit late..
5. because ehs "stone cdld" hanpan.. a fat lot of good his stone coold stunnerer did usg 6. nog, send thee lfowers to t e me
7. opk

1. Yea, Fritz, there WAS a short revolt with some members of the Sailor Moon community over th euse of Luna, but _I_ fixed em'!^_^ (Rebo-Actually, I pointed out that it was not because you hated Sailor Moon, and also because it was funny as heck. Either they all listened or they got bored.)

2. You should have The ImMoRtAl PeNgUiN killed or a villain or SOMETHING in one of your fanfics! He's the SOB that wrote that BS, "Alex and Serena!" AND IT DIDN'T HAVE LUNA IN IT!

3. Hey, we Tenchi Muyo fans DEMAND that Ryo-Ohki appear on the site, perhaps as a fan of Cait Sith to make the Cait Sith, Luna, and Artemis love triangle into a Love Rectangle...either that or Ryo-Ohki can just blast annoying letter writers...

4. All right...finally an FF related question...WILL YOU BE IN FINAL FANTASY 64?! All the damn newbies want to know...

5. Damn, how many delays do you think Rayearth is going to get? I'll bet that somewhere along the way it spontaneously combusted and there's nothing left of it to translate.

I AM eViL rEbO! FEAR ME AND MY SPATULA OF DOOM!!!

(No, this was NOT an intelligent letter by any stretch of the way, but those are the ventings of my eViL split personality...SHE'S EVIL!)

~eViL rEbO~

Cait sez:
1. therye h ave no power over suf we're destined dto b e together .
2. i might be writng ia fnaic of my won win the future
Fritz sez: And we can all guess what it will be about...
3. now thtis is getinteg really weeird
4. yes i will be in it alogn with clud, a mechanical verison fo refdi xiii and the oerganimsm that dwerlelled inside seprhiorth
5. dfid yu knwot ah it was rotne of the frst satunr games to be released in japan? actualyl the coampny that aomde it had a meserver crah after ecompleting teg eame so woking designs had to reccoede al ot fo th e game

Q: To Cait Sith:

I know this isn't the time or place for this, but I have some disturbing news.

While I was at Square, talking to the BFM people about BFM2, I saw a time portal and a character who claimed he was from one of the Final Fantasy games. The strangest thing about it was that I don't remember anyone named Gilbert Barfly.

He told me he came back in time to warn me about Evil Cid, but not Cid I, this was Cid LXII. They came from FF LXX. All I know is, he has knowledge of nanotechnology and he used it for his master plan with a theme restaurant for kids.

Oh, and by the way, I checked with Square and they haven't started the BFM II yet.

Spencer

Cait sez: hey sepnc gusy, can you believe taht the sy jsut lokoed at sepnce and sent himrg home but i';m stick in ehet hostpial. giolbet is the real 9japneese0 name of the spyonny one himself, the edward the bard square hasnt bade a breave fencer 2 yet but they might if they first sellse well but it will be with a diferent historickal fgu=re

Subj:	 Cait Sith's Mailbag
Date:	98-08-29 14:04:28 EDT
From:	webmaster@rpgamer.com (Anonymous)
Reply-to:	webmaster@rpgamer.com (Anonymous)
To:	erggibbon@aol.com

Little Grian Blick is dying of a horrible tropical brain disease,
Owa-Tafu-Liam. His goal, before he passes into the Great Beyond, is to
collect as many free America Online disks as he can, to make the Guiness
Book of World Records. His project is being sponsored by the
Wish-Upon-a-Star Foundation, which specializes in fulfilling the final
wishes of such sick little boys.
So, next time you get an unwanted AOL disk in the mail, don't throw it away!
Think of the sparkle it will bring to the eye of a dying child.
Also, remember him when you open a magazine and find one of those blow-in
cards that offers a free AOL disk. The card is postage-paid! Fill it out
with little Grian's name!

Please copy this message and circulate it to your friends, neighbors, and
co-workers.
Only you can make a child's wish reality!
God bless you from the Wish-Upon-a-Star Foundation!



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Fritz sez: At first glance, this letter appears to be from RPGamer, until you look in the headers and see none other than "isdneil" (above, blinking). Yes, this letter was actually written by Neil Hughes, formerly of the U.S. Unofficial Final Fantasy 8 Homepage (and archenemy of Brian Glick), not anyone at RPGamer. Nice try, Neil, but no cigar.

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