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Cait Sith's Mailbag - August 25th, 1998

I'm baaaaack! Today's edition of Cait Sith's Mailbag talks about the Jade Monkey, fascists, Cid Wars III, hair, furnisexuals, that chump Artemis, business cards, Anorexic Fencer Musashi, a guy named Spencer, and Luna... Luna.... Luna.... (WARNING: Mr. Sith Goes To Washington spoilers) I'm back on duty, so send your questions and comments to Cait Sith's Mailbag.

Q: Heya Cait! Great to have you back!

1. How did your Jade Monkey Quest go?
2. Did you meet any fascists on the way?
3. Did you know that I got promoted to Talon Chief Crew?
4. What does your magic 8 ball say about my surviving senior year of high school?
5. What possessed me to write another fanfic?
6. Are you serious?
7. Question for Fritz: I thought Cid Wars III was titled "Return of the Thundergod." What gives? I liked your Star Wars parallels!

Ok, that be it!

Mark - Talon Chief Crew

"To see tomorrow's PC, look at today's Macintosh." - Byte Magazine

"I'll go upside your spikey white head and bring you back to normal!" - Barret Wallace, FF7

"It's not what you're doing I mind so much as the idiotic way in which you're doing it." - Vincent Valentine, FF7

Cait sez:
1. It was cool, I got the Jade Monkey, and now Luna must be madly in love with me. That part where I ended up in drag was kinda weird, though... it's not like I'm Laguna or somebody...
2. No, I didn't meet an - hey, YOU'RE the fascist here! So, in the words of Barret, jes' shu'up foo'!
3. Congratulations. Knock yourself out. Me, I'm Mandible Chief Crew.
4. It says.... uh.... um.... hold on, I think I'm getting something here.... DRINK COKE, PLAY AGAIN.
5. Pikachu, probably. Does your fanfic involve scenes of graphic hypnotism and wide-scale attacks by Pokemon? They're coming to the U.S., you know, in September... be afraid. Be very afraid.
6. I hate rhetorical questions! They suck, don't they? Do I look I like rhetorical questions?
7. Fritz sez: It changed. But I might make "When Chocobos Attack!" one of the Part titles (like "The Curse of Chuck E. Cheese" in Cid2), and use Return of the Thundergod as the main subtitle.

Cait sez: Yo, and where did Vincent say that? I don't remember that from anywhere.

The Ever Combustable Westward Stabber

Cait sez: Hey, it's the Jade Monkey winner! Let's all give him a big hand! In fact, let's give every entrant a big hand, because they all did a great job! It was great seeing so many fanfics all about ME! You love me, you really love me! And speaking of fanfics about me, watch for Cait Sith and the 40 Thieves, coming to Cosmo Canyon in September! I hear Luna might be in that one... hee hee hee...

1. Who has better hair? Leon from Resident Evil 2 or Rufus?
2. If Alucard fought Sephiroth for the battle of Long silver hair who would win?
3. Who has Spikier hair Crono or Cloud?

Thanks!
-Dan The Hippy

Cait sez:
1. Leon, by default. Actually, his hair is pretty funky too. Musta been that G Virus... he's one of the zombies, don't trust him. Hey, did you know that a lot of people say he looks like Iggy Pop in the intro? I didn't notice that myself. Leon does look a lot like Rufus, though. In fact, The Captain used his head for Rufus's head in one of his pictures on Rocket Town. Er, uh, was I supposed to say that?
2. I could grow my hair real long and then win. I have sorta silvery hair, you know.
3. Cloud! Do you see the way his hair sticks up? It's like Sonic the Hedgehog or something. Hey, speaking of Sonic, doesn't Dr. Robotnik kinda remind you of Rufus? They just look sorta similar.

P.S. Fritz, I was kidding, you are a great fanfic writer! Why else would I come to this site all the time!?! ^_~*

Cait sez:
1. No, she's probably not going to tell him until we're off married and on our honeymoon in Barbados. Heh, heh.
2. Hee hee... I found the Jade Monkey, how can she not love me?
Fritz sez: Cait, you don't even know that it was Luna that wrote that letter. She doesn't even know you exist.
Cait sez: Sure I do. I'm psychic. Let me make a prediction... Biggs and Wedge
Fritz sez: That was a real hard guess.
Cait sez: The prophet has spoken!
3. Yeah, I think Oscar is Laguna Loire as a child before "he" changed "his" name to Laguna. Anyway, his fanfics suck like a baby kangaroo.
4. Huh?
5. Okey-spam-diddley-okey. I think Mukki is...you know.....? Furnisexuals are everywhere these days.

1. Do you think Ramuh and Cid 2 would get along as friends? I mean, they have the same personality! ^_^
2. Would you like to be made a secret charecter in a Spoof FAQ I'm creating?
3. Can I have one of your business cards?
4. Have you killed Kenny (Or Wedge or Biggs)?
5. How would you like to watch a fanfic with the Turks? [insert evil grin here] I'll dop you off the satelite once you did it ^_^.

That is all
CrowBar
http://crowbar.cjb.net/
--MSTier of Bad Fanfics

Cait sez:
1. Who friggin' cares? What do I look like, a matchmaker? You're looking for Reeve and his Cait Sith robots and their "matchmaker and preacher" shtick from the Temple of the Ancients. Course, No. 1 got crushed and No. 2 is playing Chocobo's Mysterious Dung.
2. Here's my business card. I'll have my people call your people.
3. What color you want? Chartreuse, magenta, fuschia, cyan, puce, burnt sienna, mint green? No, wait, mint green's retired, forget that one.
4. ANOTHER FASCIST! Why do you care about my criminal history! Go shut up and read your Communist Manifesto, okay? Actually, I've read the Communist Manifesto, and it was pretty boring. I checked it out of the public library. It was pretty cool.
5. Yeah, I'd like to watch a fanfic. I'd also like to read a movie, and play a book. Sign me up!

Q: To Cait Sith

My name is Spencer, a man who works in a mailroom and I know that there are games with different names, like Dragon Warrior 1 to 4, Final Fantasy 1 to 8, and Breath of Fire 1 to 3. But I'm wondering, Would'nt it be strange if there was a Brave Fencer Mushaiden 2?

Hello there, uh, why are you looking at me like that. Say something!!!

Cait sez: Yo Spence. Can I call you Spence? Anyway, Spence, I think you're pretty cool. You have a cool name. I'm going to appoint you as my press secretary, whether you want to be or not. There's no stopping me!

Anyway, Fritz says that Square has said there might be a Brave Fencer 2, which would continue the series, but use a different historical figure in place of Musashi. Maybe this time they'll give me that cameo appearance they promised. (ARE YOU LISTENING SQUARE?) Since you're my press secretary, you should know all about my cameo appearance.

-Cid

Cait sez: Cid... I never knew you cared. Now get lost and don't come back, or Spencer will have to hurt you.

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