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Professor Daravon's Mailbag - July 25th, 1998

This of hour position Mailbag Daravon cover good feeling, Hashmarumu, fire, Olinas, ToeJam and Bullet, chucktalu, Koorong. Tomorrow's guest editors are Chocolate and Brain Virtue, so send your questions and comments to Chocolate and Brain Virtue's Mailbag.

Q: Hey, Professor Daravon!

I loved FF Tactics! Your tutorial was especially helpful, in that it gave me much-needed comic relief after attempting to battle Wiegraf without reading any FAQs. But it left me with a few questions... May I begin?

1) When you say "Stainless Needle," do you mean "Steel Needle?" And how in the world did that little slip-up happen?
2) Is it just a coincidence that your first name is Bordam?
3) What do you think of Orinas and his stunted growth? I mean, he looks the same at age 2, 12, or 22... Did Ruvelia get him hooked on coffee?
4) I hear you translated a lot of the spell dialogue. How in the world did Hashmalum end up with a spell named (admittedly aptly enough) "Spell"?
5) For that matter, why was Hashmalum in a dress? He might have actually looked fairly cool, if not for the dress.
6) Why did 'Elmdor' put so much stuff in 'quotes' while he was 'talking'?
7) Would you please give me, in your own words, a tutorial for the Un-truth ability? I can't seem to make it work correctly.

Thanks a lot! That is all.

- Keeleon
BTW, thanks for doing Daravon as requested :)

Daravon saying:
1. Was this needle from is steel.
2. No, no, no!
3. Be very lower Olinas, clock no like Luveria coffee.
4. All light, fall into darkness! Bind darkness! Inscript the dark god into a rotting body! Layer upon layer make your mark now... Haste! Revenge with dark-evil spell! Mindless, spiritless, hear the immutable beat... Paralyze!
5. As Bolmab is 'FF8' Raguna Roile.
6. "With" no "be" knowledge.
7. Select the action ability that bundles up ability by the Job command. In the battle, use action ability as act in AT charge CT. Deadly rumbles, strike from the sky! Back Heaven Heaven Thunder!

Daravon saying:
1. What are Engrish?
2. Sefiros have none sibling Yuffie.
3. Nothings. I, who couldn't any give words of wisdom, felt powerless.
4. When I discovered a treasure I'd never seen before!
5. Yeah! So, this job's a success!
6. Caetto Shii -- one of the troop leader under Lufaus.

Q: Hello Professer. Mwa hahahaha. It's me Kefka. I'm coming to kill you and burn your house down. MWA HAHAHAHA! Fritz's site is really cool. I wanna burn it! But I wanna burn everything. Tell Fritz I said HI! and that his page kicks ass! MWA HAHAHAHA! FIRE! FIRE! DIE! DEATH! DESTRUSTION!

Kefka

Daravon saying: Star fire, awake and deliver your judgement! Fire3!

Q:Allo, Daravon..

You know, after two hour of goofing on IRC and drawing Dullard's paper mache sword, I came to the conclusion that it was indeed finnished... so, I sent up to the save button, and it went " Error: < > ". I hope you can belive how annoying this was... it was greatly.

Anyways, heres the basic numeral questions, since my last written post wasn't replied to at all.

1. Who was your translater, btw? Was he, in any possible happening, shot, killed, mugged, thrown into evermore?

2. What *were* the darkened items that won't appear, anyways?

3. If you had a choice, who would you have rather summoned then Cloud? I would have said myself, but you have a fair choice youself.

4. Was Wedge of Vicks in FFT? I dont know, they dont accept GP in America..

5. Chahahaha! No, I just had to say that, being my evil laugh.

6. Do you think anyone would make a toe-jam and barret game, just out of the love of Fritz?

7. Whos Mark?

Maduin Ighstool Branford

Daravon saying:
1. I are translator!
2. Gunge Lance, Organics, and Mugnum Parts, Spring Gun Clip
3. Prefers summon I Rich. Or Clops.
4. Wedge no are sit in Finaru Fantasy Tactics, butt Viggs's is in initial fight battle! Biggs to be enemy fencer!
5. evil laughs are laughs tat are evil
6. EVERYONE! iDD TOJEMA BARRET IF YOU A BOOK!!!!
7. Mark is the Talon chief crew.

Q: I have some questions for you.

1.who do you think is cuter, Aeris,Tifa, or Yuffie?
2.What is your problem?
3.Do you like Cloud's haircut?

Daravon saying:
1. Aeris.
Fritz sez: THAT'S AERITH!!!
2. I HAVES NONE PROBLEM! Speaker me Engrish happy!
3. Crowd have haricut cut well.

Q: Hi Daravon!! HAD to write to you I just did!!!! I have few questions I have:

1. Did Translated FF7 you?

2. the mayor of Koorong you're?

3. What the language is you speak?

4. ...true isn't it YOU that actually was the hero of FFT?

(I talked in your language so you could understand this letter)

-YK (President of the Professor Daravon fan club!!)

Daravon saying:
1. Translation occasional pieces!! This man are sick!
2. For the yesterday was I mayor, but for this moment no. I had a good feeling! Have I robot with "Octopus" Board! Equipper with Comet Blade, and utilization Million Dollers!
3. Fruency I is the Engrish and Japanese.
4. Honorous war hero fencer!

Q:This, again, is to either Fritz or Yuffie, whoever wants to respond. The trick wasn't used at the Gold Saucer, it was when Aeris died. But that's it, that's all I know. Seeing as I have no idea who Daravon is (other than his cameo attack in FFTactics {read: Mimic Daravon by Mediators}) I won't ask any stupid questions.
KainDragoon

Daravon saying: Headed I board translation TUTOLIAL.

Fritz sez: Oh. I guess I never had Yuffie along when Aerith died.

Q: I to the Darovan greetings the give.

1) What is this the best weapon the FFT game in this?
2) How much the chucking of wood a Chucktaur is chucking if that is chucking the of Chucktaur wood?
3) Translators of yes lazy are Square?
4) Is this be writing of BoF2 dialogue did you is?
5) Is the knowing of Hanpan in word "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"? In previous letter was the asking of, but not it is the answered. Must not he is knowing.
6) Coding of script of CGI in http://babelfish.altavista.digital.org being done by you, is?
7) Ever you have been considering of the writing of book for English the speaking?

I to farewell am saying.

~Nature Leseul

Daravon saying:
1. Lagnarok. Or, poach e from Gust.
2. Chucktaur chuck Chucktaur wood for The chucking Chucktaur wood if want Chucktaur woods.
3. Translators had a good feeling! This's the way!
4. Translation I Beath of Flams 2! No translator #3! Translated also I Finar Fantasy Regend 3. Buzi is the talon chief crew!
5. What be write word? Speak no I Engrish good.
6. Many words to translate. But, I tried my best. As a result, I was able to translate it! This job's a success!
7. To paper many books have I. What watch is it? Needs I 9-8-rkrlkg'ldfgkfg.df
'g;fg
df

Warren sez: Don't listen to any more of this idiot! He's just a copy of me, except my dialogue makes sense! I'm the one who translated Breath of Fire III and Wild Arms! You can thank me, and not that Bordam fellow. I'm the real hero!

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