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Ben McKee's Mailbag - July 16th, 1998

Today's edition of Ben's Mailbag answers questions on Tekken 3, N64, Dullard, and insect politics. Tomorrow's guest editor is Barret Wallace, so send your questions and comments to Barret's Mailbag.

Q: hey, it's that crazy guy again. (uh.. me, not ben)
1. uhoh. are you an insect politician too? they're popping up everywhere these days.
2. what's your conspiracy theory?
3. if crono, ryu, and rudy were to start a band.. who would be the singer?
-skul

Ben sez: SOME COY THINGS are going on in Washington!
1. I'm the one and only CONTREGED Insect Politition! I came from Mars, where only flys and necterines live. PIECE OF PIE!
2. My Conspiracy theory? Well, everything on this world was made of chocolate, until one day a guy named Samtron came and created Low radiation. We are now just Chocolate, waiting to be eaten.
3. ME! I'm always the number one coy guy on the job, so I'd sing! Actually, you wouldn't want to hear the BEN VOICE!!! Who HA! Rudy, all the way! He's my number two coy guy.

Anyhow, I'd like to ask Ben if he shaves on a regular basis, and if the answer to life, the universe, and everything is really 42.

Oh, yeah, I'D be the lead singer in a band that would have Crono, Ryu, and Rudy in it. Bwaha hah hah.

Ben sez: You want to ask FRITTER if I shave every day? ASK ME, BUCKO! Or, "Cow the lemming." You're messing with the wrong Ben, buster. I have the answer to life: Conglomerate!

Q: OK, I got it! Maybe Artemis *is* a female cat! DIC made Kunzite and Malackite a straight couple in the translated version by substituting Kunzite's male voice with a female voice. So what's stopping them from switching Artemis' female voice with a male voice? (They probably adopted Diana anyway since they only had *one* cat)

Your everyday predator
-Hawkeye

Ben sez: Gel..... POYCLE!!!

Q:Ben- How do you feel about Square's mystery sequel being revealed as Chocobo's Mysterious Dungeon 2? I just read about it at RPGamer and was shocked and dissappointed. What's sad is that the article sounded hopeful that the game might get published in the U.S.! Heaven forbid it! Some good may come of it, because Cait could make robot Cait Sith play Chocobo's Mysterious Dungeon 2.
-BenGrande(my names Ben, too)

Ben sez: Howdy Do Da Day Mr. Ben! Bengrande. I'm benmckee. Nice meeting you. Square is as rotten as a pile of dirty, moldy cheese. I was shocked and dissappointed. What's sad is that the article sounded hopeful that the game might get published in the U.S.! Woops, sorry, Imust totally agree. Narf, woof, PEANUTS! Chocobo Bob is coming to haunt you. Thanks for being born, and having the same name, bengrande.

Q: Hi Ben!

Let's skip the intro and get right to the questions:
1. Do you think Nintendo is babying games down for us? Such as the entire game "Yoshi's Story" or "Mario RPG 64?"
2. Do you believe the N64 mouse will become useless and overadvertised, like the Rumble Pak and the Super Scope (not to mention the SNES mouse?)
3. Drumstick VS Krock: Who would win (death match, 3 rounds, dirty fighting?)
4. Finally, sacrifice all your crates of Water Joe, Zebra Cakes, and Nacho Cheese Doritos or Yoshi gets it!

(Send me a microphone and you can hear his cries for help....)

-Lobsterboy

Ben sez: You must have Been to beN64! COY! Well, I like the big N. NINTENDO!!! Anyway...
1. Mario RPG 64 is really dumb. They should end up remaking the Super NES version and putting it on the N64. They are totally babying games, but that's not necessary bad, you know. Diddy Kong Racing and Banjo-Kazooie are both really fun, and Banjo is fairly easy to beat. Yoshi's Story is fun, and I'm sure that if you've played it, if you ignore the cuteness it's a great game.
2. Yes, Yes, yes. It's good for one game, and then its ALLLLLLLLLL GONNNEEE!! The Rumble Pak, I think, isn't a one hit wonder. I totally agree with the super scope, but the rumble pak is a great idea that I THINK will be successful.
3. Krunch! Definitely! Krunch can TAKE A BITE out of him! Have you heard those wierd sounds that Drumstick makes? They're WIERD!!!!!!!! Try putting Krunch and Drumstick one on One in Battle in DKR!
4. NO NACHOS FOR YOU! I'M THE FOOD NAZI! NO YOSHI, EITHER!

Q: Yo yo!! Ma priend Ben McKee!!
Your Tekken3 review rules!! But ya porget somethin':
1. Gon sucks!! Please add on yer review!!
2. Boskonovitch are damnit lovely SOB!!
3. Wha' did you think da cheapest Tekken3 move(s)? Gordo must go!! He kickin' ass like buckin' bass!!
4. Do we need that Ogre thang?? His forward strikin' Wang's move rocks!! But his costume to Indianese (no oppense, baby!! >:] )
5. Pour Cid Highwind if he read 'tis: Hey Ya buckin' SOB!! I told ya to put ma buckin' beautiful name on Desdemona fonts!! I see you jest click,drag,copy, und paste ma letter, you SOB!!
6. Pour Cait Sith: Ya smorgasbord SOB roof cat!! Naoko Takeuchi can put da Artemis name anywhere she likes!! A don't care if Artemis a goddess!! Good fer ya, na' fer me!! Okay, once again thanks pour yer valuable time, Mr. McKee!! BTW you don't have to answer ma damned fifth und sixth questions!! Rememba, there's no oppense on ma questions!! >:] Sorry pour my Anglais.

The Satanic Satan, Dajal the Satan.

Ben sez: YOU DULLARD!
1. Gon does suck, but I managed to beat the game on easy, and his ending is pretty coy.. The rabid Chocobo can change that for you...
2. Dr. B is a COY, not an SOB, you meanie person! You're going to be the next CID! YOU ARE A DULLARD! I KNEW IT!
3. Definitely the Coyster Power Bomb. Easily. I can't believe you didn't catch that.
4. What the Conglomerate is going on?

Q: hi... hum.... well.... heu... ben? (is that it?) hum.... i've got some questions... but... hem... i don't know if it... well... do you?... I mean... maybe they don't... maybe you're great... and that these... don't fit... you know what i... hum... mean?

[ [ WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??? ] ]

this wasn't my.. hum... questions.... but... hum... if you... well... could you... answer... because i don't know you... maybe you do... well... i mean... better than me... you know what i?... hum... are you... i mean... well... what? wanna hear my... hum... question?... well... there they are...

hum... i think... well... i think... well.. i've forgot... hum... i wrote them... but... hum... i... flush... well... but if... you could answer.... i mean... it's not i'm against... you.... but... could you answer the first.... well.... you see what i mean?.... i meant... the first... hum... question!

well... bye then....

me....

Ben sez: Goldeneye is an eye tat is golden.
Also, beN64 is a 64 tat is Ben.

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