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Cid's Mailbag - July 15th, 1998

Today's edition of Cid's Mailbag answers questions on Dukes, insect politics, T.G. Cid, cigs, tea, and "that @(*$% in a raincoat." Tomorrow's guest editor is Ben McKee, so send your questions and comments to Ben McKee's Mailbag. If you don't know who Ben is, he wrote the Tekken 3 review, and he also has his own page, beN64.

Q: Hey, yo!! Any characters that answa' 'tis question!! I'd like to say: Cait Sith sucks!! Tyrant rules!! >:] Thank you (PS: Don't porget to write my name, like my recent mail!!) Yiekh!!

Cid sez: I won't porget. @#$#$(* idiot, can't you spell? And that wasn't a question anyway.

I found something new in Beath of Flams!

Chartreuse XXVI's ultimate weapon: the MoldyGiantToenailClipping! but to get this prized weapon, you have to do the following:

Defeat BigToaster.
Go to Boringaturu.
In ChateauGeneric, go to the upper-right corner of the toilet. there should be a note saying, "spam: the choice of a generation." Pick it up, and then go back to the spot where you obliterated BigToaster. CHECK the crumbs 203576 times, to find the GiantCrd. Use this: It will bring you to an area on the map known as "Giant's Toilet." Go to the giant toilet bowl, and then USE the note. it will flush down the toilet, and you will be reunited with the BigToaster, with one exception: he MORPHS INTO BigToasterWithFecesOnIt! This version of the Toaster is considerably harder, but is easy pickings if you implement the power of the woodchuck. after defeating the "Crappy Toaster," you will receive an item called, "map of washroom". using this, make your way to the trash can, and upon checking it, YOU will RECEIVE the

MoldyGiantToenailClipping!!

spread the word!

Phlegm

Cid sez: Do you think I care about this @$(*$% *($*%? Dukes is on in fifteen minutes!

Q: Greetings...

We were wondering about something in your recent Guardian Amulet 2 adventure...

Where did the Rocket Launcher come from? Who dropped it?

Thanks. This information could save the world...well, maybe not...

Mark and -{-Seig---

Cid sez: I think it was Vincent's girlfriend... what's her name... oh yeah, Lucrecia. Some people think it was Pepsiman, some people think it was Ada Wong. Depends on who you ask. I just know it &*#$%$%in' isn't King Truffle.

Q:Hi, you no good Highwind!! It is I, the impudent satanic satan; D A J A L[note: please use Desdemona font at dajal name, with a space between every character. Thank you] the Satan. I'd like to ask you somethin'
1. Why you always swearing like that??!! Did you think you're great ??!!!
2. Why you always poking your stupid spear to the flunkies ??!!!
3. Why you always hate to see Cid VI's raincoat ??!!! Did you ever wore a raincoat when you still a brat ??!!!
4. //Ha!! You always swearing with capslocked numeric keys!! I dare you to say vück!!! Gyahaha!!//
5. What engine did you use to your damnit lovely Highwind ??!!
6. When Cloud put the right password in first chance (back to FF7's rocket event), why'd you curious?!!!
7. You know, I think your seventh incarnation in the upcoming FF8 will be not available. WHY??!! FF6 (aka FF3 US) already used two Cid. Nomadic raincoated Cid and the oldman's cid-er. Ahaha..cough
8. Why you're hate Hansons and Pikachu??!! Because once you're think Tay Hanson was a chick, the you fall in love, and when you found out that he's a man??!! So you hate 'em??!! Or you hate cuties such as Pikachu und Yuffie??!!
9. Stop smokin', you moronic pilot!!! It will kill you slowly!!! 10. Pour Cait Sith; Hey, you destructive roof cat!!! Artemis is a male!!! Look at "The Man in The Iron Ass" or somethin'........one of da musketeer named Artemis!!!

Well, thanks for your time to answer my valuable questions, you old and impudentSOBXananaGuzmao Highwind!! BTW sorry pour my Anglais (bukan, I'm né urang Prancis!!). Und remember, this is not an offense!! >:]

D a j a l[note: don't forget the desdemona font!]

Cid sez: 1. If I want to, I can, dammit! It's a #$*% free country.
2. Dammit, whaddya want me to have, some ugly big-ass sword like Cloud?
3. What kinda @$#& wears a raincoat indoors? That's just plain dumb.
4. Yo! Pressin' Caps Lock and typing numbers still gives you numbers! You have to hold the @$*@ shift key!
5. The Highwind's engine is powered by the collision between Spam and antimatter.
6. "Why'd you curious?!!!" What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you that Daravon guy in disguise? Speak English, dammit!
7. There's too many Cids anyway.
8. You can take those damn girlie-kids and shove 'em where the sun don't shine. And that @!*#$% Pocket Monster with 'em. He's evil, I tell you.
9. I can smoke if I $$!%* want to.
10. I don't care @$% about all that mythology crap, but Cait Sith wants to tell you that Artemis is the Greek goddess of the moon.

Q: Hey Cid! How's my favorite super-pilot doing? I got a couple of wuestions for ya...

1. What are insect politics?
2. What do they have to do with Crono not being able to talk?
3. Why do you look like you're about to fall over backwards when you run?
4. Why is your strongest weapon called a sissy name like the Venus Gospel?
5. What.... is the capital of Asyria?

--
Taarkoth

Cid sez:
1. Insect politics.
2. Politics, insect.
3. Hey! Michael Johnson runs the same way too! So shut up!
4. 'Cause it's better than a #^$*% name like Taarkoth.
5. Greece. I don't know. All that @$*&% history stuff bores me.

Q: Yo, Cid, you rule! You're the most kick #$@!(^$ ass character ever! However I have some questions:
1)Are you really the only person in the world who smokes?
2)Which is really worse, endless Spice World Marathon on TV or 24 hours of MmmmBop in the radio?
3)Could you please stop making fun of Cid FFVI just because he has a yellow raincoat?

Wilson

Cid sez:
1. I think there's some guy in Parasite Eve who smokes. I dunno.
2. MMMCrap.
3. Yeah? You wanna wear a raincoat indoors, 24 hours a day? He probably wears the damn thing 24 hours a day. Are you sure you're not one of those Hanson broads?

Q: Hey Cid! How's it going? I was just wondering, how do you like your tea? With sugar? Without? Any specific types, like Earl Gray, or herbal? Also, what do you think of iced tea? Well, that's it. Thanks!
Hon Rosie

Cid sez: I like Earl Gray. Iced tea is for sissies (like Hanson). Real men drink real tea!

Q: yo cid, what kind of cigarettes do you prefer? it's the biggest question since "boxers or briefs?", man!
-skul

Cid sez: Industrial Strength Chocobos. Joe Chocobo rules.
P.S. Boxers.

Q: Hey Cid,

Alright, I'll fire some questions at you:
1. In "Blue and Green", after Cait and the gang stole the squad car, were the driving instruction given to Cait by Hampan from PaRappa the rapper. I haven't played PaRappa but it was on the commercial.
2. How come T.G. Cid(Orlandu) wasn't in Cid Wars. He could have slayed anything.
3. Cops in Costa del Sol?
4. Insect politics?
5. How can the entire gang from FF7 fit into the condo in Costa del Sol? It must feel like The Brady Bunch for you guys.

Cid sez:
1. Yeah. And you should play PaRappa, it's a %($*in' great game, unless you're like Barret and got no rhythm.
2. FF Tactics wasn't out when we made the @(*$% story!! There's too many Cids, anyway.
3. They're turning the world into a @(*$% police state. The cops are everywhere. They won't even let me smoke in bars anymore, what kinda @(*$% is that?
4. Huh?.
5. Yeah, it was. Barret's room is across the hall and his @(*$% snoring kept me up all night. No wonder Vincent was sleepin' in a crate in the basement.

Q: Hey Cid,

Cid,
I have some questions for you:

1. I've noticed that you've had some troubles that involve radios and TV's. Have you ever thought that it's some sort of conspiracy against you? I mean, I pity anyone who should be forced to hear MmmBop and watch Spice World against their will.

2. Have you ever thought about hosting a TV talk show? You might be even more popular than Springer! (Well, I'd watch it at least...)

3. How exactly do you pronounce punctuation marks?

4. Where was the gravity in the Rocket when it was in outer space?

5. Do you like numbered letters like this one?

Sincerely,
Invisigirl

P.S. I think you are the coolest character in FF7!!

Cid sez:
1. It gets even @$(% worse in Cid Wars II...
2. Cids of Hazzard? Dukes of Midgar? That's got potential...
3. [BEEP]
4. Behind the door. @(*%$$%, I don't know, ask Shera, she probably knows more about that crap than I do -- I'm just a pilot... 'course, Shera doesn't know anything at all.
5. Better than lettered ones.

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