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I Am So Sick of Super Mario Brothers Spoilers!

by SuperSaiyanSephiroth

I am so sick of Super Mario Brothers spoilers.

Yesterday, I was just hanging out on one of my favorite IRC channels when some people start talking about how hard World 8 of Super Mario Brothers was. Hello! Not everyone has beaten the game yet! Don't you realize that there are a lot of slower players and people who don't even own the game? Some of us don't have jobs and can't buy every game in existence, you know. There are -lots- of people out there who don't know anything about Super Mario Brothers, and we'd prefer to stay that way.

I am so sick of Super Mario Brothers spoilers.

Can you believe that some people think it's okay to talk about scenes like the one where Mario finds out the princess in another castle? They ruined the whole game for me! What's the point of playing through the first eight worlds when you already know you won't find the princess in the castle? I'll never be able to enjoy SMB the way Nintendo had it intended for it to be played. All because some jerk didn't mark his spoilers.

I am so sick of Super Mario Brothers spoilers.

I had half the plot of Donkey Kong spoiled for me before I played the game, and I had a hard time enjoying the game because of it. I hate to think how much more fun the game would have been if I hadn't already known about the pie factory and the way Donkey Kong falls to his demise. And now, before I ever touch the Super Mario Brothers cartridge, I already know that there are underwater levels. And that you fight Goombas and Koopa Troopas.

I am so sick of Super Mario Brothers spoilers.

It's not too much ask to simply appropriately mark your Super Mario Brothers discussions on message boards. For example, if you want to talk about World 3 (which I've already been told about, unfortunately), put "SPOILER - SMB World 3" in your message title. Then leave a couple pages of blank space in your message so someone who clicks on it by mistake won't be hit with all these spoiler about how to get to the Minus World. C'mon, people, it's not like it takes more than a minute or two.

I am so sick of Super Mario Brothers spoilers.

I'm scared to go on IRC these days. You never know what people might just start talking about Super Mario Brothers out of the blue. Look, if you want to talk about Super Mario Brothers, go to a separate channel -- say, #smbspoilers -- so those of who haven't played the game won't find out how to beat the Hammer Brothers. I've been diligently avoiding looking at any back issues of Nintendo Power or watching reruns of the Super Mario Brothers Super Show so I won't know anything about the game when I play it. I don't want to know about what the ending is like or what the characters' names are, so if you want to talk about stuff like that, do it elsewhere.

I am so sick of Super Mario Brothers spoilers.

I can't believe videogames.com showed a screenshot of Bowser in their History of Super Mario Brothers feature. Don't they understand that pictures of the last boss are HUGE SPOILERS? I don't care if it's an old game, it's STILL A SPOILER. What a bunch of assholes. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who goes around spoiling Super Mario Brothers should be banned from the Internet. If I was an operator in #panic, I would have kicked all those twits a long time ago.

I am so sick of Super Mario Brothers spoilers.

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