2/26/07
It's been so long since I've written a review for the site that I've forgotten what it was like! Anyway, here it is, an appropriately scathing commentary on one of the worst games of last year... or the year before that... or the year before that! Heck, I dare say that 50 Cent: Bulletproof ranks near the top of the crappiest third-person shooters ever designed. When you find yourself wishing you were playing Advent Rising instead, you know the game's got serious problems.
Before I go, I've been hearing rumors that Konami is planning to release the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game for Xbox Live Arcade. They actually tried this once before, including an emulated version of the game with one of their more recent Turtles beat 'em ups... but it was badly butchered, replacing the driving score from the original with some trash from the FoxBox cartoon. Hopefully they won't make the same mistake twice with this translation. I'm also crossing my fingers for online play, because let's face it, it's just not as fun playing as a Ninja Turtle without at least one other hero in the half shell guarding your back!
2/23/07
Good news, everybody! Well, good news for ME, anyway. A recreation center and coffee house just opened inside the residential hall at the local college. Although I don't live on campus, I've still been able to put the center and its extensive collection of next-gen game systems to use.
That includes the Playstation 3, which might actually be a pretty good system if it weren't for that blood-curdling price tag. Resistance: Fall of Man is, as countless reviewers have already mentioned, extremely impressive. It's as good a first-person shooter as any I've played, with razor-sharp graphics that bridge the gap between science-fiction horror and mid-20th century military combat. Ridge Racer 7 isn't so hot, but to its credit, it's no WORSE than its store-brand generic predecessor on the Xbox 360.
I've also taken the opportunity to catch up with those Xbox 360 and Wii games which I either can't afford or just have no interest in buying. The less said about Gears of War, the better... I realize that the game has a fiercely loyal following, but after stumbling through the tutorial I can't imagine why. The control couldn't be any more player-hostile if the designers glued poison-tipped tacks to the thumbsticks and buttons!
On the Wii side of things, there's Red Steel and Elebits. In my less than humble opinion, Konami's lighthearted action title is the quintessential Wii game, making the most of the system's unique controller while bringing fresh ideas to an industry in dire need of them. You're a junior exterminator, blasting brightly colored bugs with a stream of electricity that can also hold and throw objects. The gameplay's got the same cumulative effect as Katamari Damacy... the more Elebits you catch, the more powerful your beam becomes, eventually giving you the strength to tear houses from their foundations and toss cars around like toys. What could be more fun than that?
Definitely not Red Steel! Everything you've heard about this game is true, as long as it's negative. I'm not sure what offends me more about this first-person shooter from Ubisoft... is it the artificially flavored Japanese atmosphere? The smeared, ugly wall textures and boxy weapons highlighted with garish gold trim? The gimped control which makes something as simple as picking up a gun a labor even Hercules would dare not accept? The cramped level design which gives you all the freedom of a Tiger handheld from the late 1980's? Hey, why settle for just one? I'm picking "all of the above."
2/18/07
Good news, everybody! Well, good news for ME, anyway. A recreation center and coffee house just opened inside the residential hall at the local college. Although I don't live on campus, I've still been able to put the center and its extensive collection of next-gen game systems to use.
That includes the Playstation 3, which might actually be a pretty good system if it weren't for that blood-curdling price tag. Resistance: Fall of Man is, as countless reviewers have already mentioned, extremely impressive. It's as good a first-person shooter as any I've played, with razor-sharp graphics that bridge the gap between science-fiction horror and mid-20th century military combat. Ridge Racer 7 isn't so hot, but to its credit, it's no WORSE than its store-brand generic predecessor on the Xbox 360.
I've also taken the opportunity to catch up with those Xbox 360 and Wii games which I either can't afford or just have no interest in buying. The less said about Gears of War, the better... I realize that the game has a fiercely loyal following, but after stumbling through the tutorial I can't imagine why. The control couldn't be any more player-hostile if the designers glued poison-tipped tacks to the thumbsticks and buttons!
On the Wii side of things, there's Red Steel and Elebits. In my less than humble opinion, Konami's lighthearted action title is the quintessential Wii game, making the most of the system's unique controller while bringing fresh ideas to an industry in dire need of them. You're a junior exterminator, blasting brightly colored bugs with a stream of electricity that can also hold and throw objects. The gameplay's got the same cumulative effect as Katamari Damacy... the more Elebits you catch, the more powerful your beam becomes, eventually giving you the strength to tear houses from their foundations and toss cars around like toys. What could be more fun than that?
Definitely not Red Steel! Everything you've heard about this game is true, as long as it's negative. I'm not sure what offends me more about this first-person shooter from Ubisoft... is it the artificially flavored Japanese atmosphere? The smeared, ugly wall textures and boxy weapons highlighted with garish gold trim? The gimped control which makes something as simple as picking up a gun a labor even Hercules would dare not accept? The cramped level design which gives you all the freedom of a Tiger handheld from the late 1980's? Hey, why settle for just one? I'm picking "all of the above."
2/18/07
After a disappointing experience with Capcom's Godhand, I was determined to find a 3D brawler as entertaining as the arcade favorites I so fondly remember from my youth. Here's what my extensive research revealed...
FINAL FIGHT STREETWISE: Sure, it's not fantastic by any stretch of the imagination, but if you've ever played Capcom 8's last "gem" Final Fight Revenge, you'll realize just how good you have it with this sequel. You're Kyle Travers, brother of everybody's least favorite playable character from the original Final Fight. When Cody is kidnapped by gang members, it's up to you to search the down and dirty streets of Metro City for clues to his location. It's like Shenmue with more swearing, fewer sailors, and less appealing mini-games. Also included in the package is a heinous conversion of the Final Fight arcade game that'll leave you scrambling for that copy of Capcom Classic Collection in the closet.
THE WARRIORS: Feeling nostalgic for the 1970's? Then you're really, really old and probably shouldn't be playing video games. But if the onset of wrinkles and liver spots doesn't deter you from indulging in some gaming goodness, you'll want to set a copy of The Warriors next to your favorite lava lamp. The Warriors has such a deep fighting system that you'll wonder why Rockstar threw in all the extraneous nonsense. You'll be sneaking past cops and stealing car radios as often as you'll be sinking your fists in the faces of rival gang members; thugs dressed as everything from mimes to baseball stars. Fortunately, there's an option to get right to the fighting, and you'll be amazed by all you can do. Why just punch and kick when you can drag that goon's face across a chain link fence?
URBAN REIGN: Now that's more like it! Namco's Tekken spin-off has all the satisfying action of The Warriors without all the distractions. There are no mission objectives standing between you and your opponents, so you'll have all the time in the world to experiment with a brilliant fighting system packed with attacks. Like True Crime: Streets of L.A., you can target specific areas of your opponents' bodies. However, this has a more profound effect on the gameplay in Urban Reign... if you soften up the legs of your foe, they'll drop like a ton of bricks the next time you land a blow there. Slick, easily performed counters and some of the most astonishing attacks you've seen outside a wrestling ring make Urban Reign the most exciting beat 'em up released in the past ten years.
2/14/07
I've never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day, but if they're all going to bring us this many juicy gaming announcements, I might have to view the holiday in a more flattering light. First up is news of an Xbox Live Arcade conversion of Ikaruga, Treasure's parting gift to the Dreamcast. It's no Radiant Silvergun (then again, what is?), but it's still a big step up from the crusty arcade games available on the online service.
Speaking of online features, the Nintendo Wii's got a new channel called Everybody Votes. It's like those online polls you see on most internet message boards, except Nintendo chooses the daily topic, and there are only two available options. Yeah, I don't get it either. I wonder what Nintendo has up its sleeve for next week... maybe a Magic 8-Ball where you shake the Wiimote like mad until a little purple cube floats to the top of your television set, dispensing cryptic advice. Hey, that's actually a pretty cool idea... who do I talk to so I can get my cut of the royalties?
What next? Well, there's news from Kotaku that the founders of Clover have taken up root elsewhere, starting the development team SEEDS. There's no news on what their premiere game will be like, but evidently they'll have a lot of money to invest in their first project, courtesy of an unknown but very wealthy benefactor. With talented designers like SEEDS' Shinji Mikami and Game Republic's Yoshiki Okamoto abandoning Capcom in droves, I'm starting to wonder if there will be anything left of the company in another five years!
Valentine's Day has one more gift for gamers, and it ain't flowers or candy! Nope, this present comes in the form of the long-awaited, continually-delayed Chulip. This kiss-centric adventure has been finished and ready for launch for over three years, but developer Natsume kept getting cold feet about its release. Did Sony halt Chulip's debut because of its lackluster graphics (no doubt inspired by Nintendo's own Animal Crossing), or was Natsume worried that a game starring a serial kisser would be considered too creepy for a prudish Western audience?
Whatever may be the case, it seems they've finally worked through those issues and are ready to speak the language of love. Expect Chulip at your local Gamestop or EB Games tomorrow afternoon... unless the damn thing gets delayed again at the last minute.
EDIT: And wouldn't you know it, it WAS! Oh good grief. All right, in that case, expect the game at your local Gamestop next Tuesday afternoon. Just don't hold your breath for it.
2/12/07
There's been a lot of talk about display resolutions lately, especially from feisty German development team Factor 5. In a recent interview with Game Informer, Factor 5 president Julian Eggebrecht reveals the reason his company left Nintendo and refused to work with Microsoft. The last straw (actually, the only straw) for Julian was that neither company was willing to embrace 1080p, that holy grail of resolutions.
Of course, there are perfectly logical reasons for Microsoft and Nintendo's hesitation... high-definition televisions are still in their infancy, and pushing over two million pixels sixty times a second is a tall order for even the most powerful game consoles. Nevertheless, Factor 5 is convinced that 1080p is the way to go, and they're dead set on taking everyone else along for the ride... even if they have to drag them kicking and screaming.
Some gamers feel that Factor 5 is on the right track. They too feel that 1080p is the defining characteristic of a next-generation game console, and that outstanding graphics are impossible to achieve without it. As a recent owner of a high-definition television set, I have to wonder if these individuals can honestly tell the difference between 1080p and lesser resolutions, or if they're just in love with another trendy buzzword from the industry that brought us blast processing and bump-mapping. After being dazzled by The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion with a "humble" 1080i component connection, I suspect the latter applies.
I'm also not entirely convinced that game developers have pushed previous HD resolutions past their limits... yes, even the 480p which has made the Nintendo Wii a laughingstock among tech snobs. There are still critical areas in basic visual presentation that the video game industry has long ignored; things that could and should be improved even on older consoles. Even in high-budget titles by Electronic Arts and other industry titans, the animation is so stiff and lifeless that if you squint, you can see the strings holding the characters in place. How is 1080p going to improve the look of games that seem like they were executive produced by Jim Henson? Not a bit.
In addition to addressing these nagging flaws, developers need to be encouraged to stray from the well-worn path of photo-realism and experiment with new, dynamic art styles. Okami's clever mimicry of medievel Japanese paintings was a great start, but you can't finish a thousand mile journey with a single step. When designers can finally express themselves through the artwork in their games... when cel-shaded characters become indistinguishable from their hand-drawn counterparts... when every release is a unique and memorable visual experience, then and only then will it be time for the industry to step up to 1080p.
2/8/07
Looking for an easy six hundred dollars? Well, Sony's got a deal for you! Just listen to this quote from SCEA president Jack Tretton, taken from the latest issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly...
"If you can find a PS3 anywhere in North America that's been on shelves for more than five minutes, I'll give you 1,200 bucks for it."
It's right here in black and white (and yellow), folks! All you need to do is get solid evidence of the stacks and stacks of Playstation 3s currently in stores, then send 'ol Jack one of them. It's money in the bank, baby!
2/4/07
Whoo, Konami's been busy! They're cranking out over a dozen games, and thankfully, none of them have the words "Metal" or "Gear" in the title. There's a good mixture of the unexpected and familiar in the release schedule... along with the usual pile of Dance Dance Revolution games, there's a collection of arcade favorites for the Nintendo DS and another oddball Wii title from the makers of Elebits.
The most surprising announcement was Time Ace for the Nintendo DS. It took 'em twenty years, but Konami's finally making a sequel to one of its earliest arcade hits. Information about the game is scarce at the moment, but what's known is that it will feature eighteen stages, with the player bringing down aircraft from eight distinct time periods. Time Ace will also be in 3D, so it's probably safe to expect dogfights like the ones in Crimson Skies, or rail-based gameplay similar to Nintendo's Starfox series.
One last thing before I go. It sounds like the Dan Hibiki of attorneys might not be practicing law for long, if the Florida Bar Association has their way. They've disciplined him in the past, but since he's never gotten the message, it's likely that the bar will deal with him more harshly to drive their point home. It's a hollow victory, since the mainstream media's spotlight has already shifted from Jackie T to the next freak of the week, but I'll take what I can get!
