NICHIBUTSU ARCADE CLASSICS
NIHON BUSSAN
SUPER NES
ACTION

Nichi-whatsu?

This word probably sounds like nonsense to most gamers, but the older ones (myself included) remember Nichibutsu as the producer of games even weirder than the company's name.  They were responsible for MagMax, the side-scrolling shooter with a goofy robot you had to build from parts scattered around the playfield, and Seicross, a futuristic racing game with a course chock full of such obstacles as metal stars and dinosaur bones.  They even had the idea to send a guy up a skyscraper long before it became fashionable to stir a heaping tablespoon of danger into your sports activities.

In 1995, Nichibutsu ported this game and two others to the Super NES in a collection called Nichibutsu Arcade Classics.  Unlike most 16-bit conversions of older arcade games, which were either poorly translated or completely redesigned, the games in this collection were 100% faithful to the coin operated originals... pretty impressive considering that true emulation is impossible on a system with as low a clock speed as the Super NES.  But just what was included on this cartridge? Just hold your horses, man... I'm getting to that.

First on the menu is Frisky Tom.  This game stars a plumber with a bell shaped head who's got to defend his work against a nest of rats.  Apparently, the sound of water rushing through the pipes drives them bonkers, and the vermin will do anything to make it stop.  Your job, of course, is to keep that water flowin', and knock the rats off the plumbing before they get the chance to pull it apart, or worse, plant bombs at the source of the water.  Don't ask me how they manage to do either without opposable thumbs.  Anyways, the orange rat is the most common species in the game, and while they really have no defense against the plumber, they pour out of the rat's nest almost as quickly as water flows through the pipes, and once the screen is infested with them it becomes very difficult to keep them from ripping the place apart.  You'll occasionally notice purple and red rats mixed in with the much more plentiful orange ones, and these guys attempt to keep their vermillion cousins safe by getting in your way or even divebombing you.  Purple rodents can knock you back to the floor, and the red ones are even more vicious, killing you on contact.  And oh wait, did I mention that the bomb the rats just planted is about to go off?  You'd better climb up there and snuff the fuse, or there won't be enough left of you to fill that stupid bell-shaped hat of yours.  If you can keep the pipes tightened, the rats in check, and the bomb (and yourself!) in one piece, you'll get to watch your female customer enjoy a shower, with the suds just covering all the right areas.  Ooh, yeah, that'll get you frisky!

Then there's Moon Cresta.  This shooter was heavily inspired by Namco's Galaxian, and even ran from the same hardware.  The one major difference between the two games is that, instead of extra lives, Cresta gave you three ships, starting you off with a tiny fighter and offering you more powerful cruisers if your first one was destroyed.  However, these ships were larger, and the space between their two cannons made it more difficult to target and destroy enemies.  Your best bet would be to hold on to the ship you were originally given as long as possible... eventually, you'd get the chance to link two or even three fighters together, boosting your firepower and giving yourself a better chance against the swarms of purple eyeballs, meteors, and "atomic dumps" (sounds like these guys came from the sewage treatment pond near Three Mile Island, doesn't it?).

The real prize of this collection, and the only Nichibutsu game anyone really remembers, is Crazy Climber.  The title pretty much says it all... you're some weirdo who gets an adrenaline rush from hanging off the sides of tall structures, and since there aren't any mountains handy, you find the nearest skyscraper and get crackin'.  Fortunately, the police aren't around to stop you, but everyone else in, on, or around the building is... sadistic tenants throw potted plants at you, construction equipment falls from out of nowhere, neon signs dangle frayed wires in your path... and oh yeah, King Kong just happened to have the same idea you did and is hanging out near the top of the building, throwing punches at anyone who gets near him.  Your only friend in the world is the helicopter pilot who's waiting for you at the tippy top of the skyscraper... if you can manage to grab the chopper as it flies by, you'll be back on solid ground in no time (and looking for another, even taller building to climb, because hey, you're crazy!).

All three of these games were ported quite well to the Super NES... they're not emulated, but it'll take a sharp eye to notice the differences between them and the arcade originals.  All three of the games have arranged modes which turn up the dial on both the graphics and difficulty... Frisky Tom's red rats only come out to play in the enhanced version of the game, and you'd better crank up the number of available lives in the options screen if you plan on playing the new and improved Crazy Climber... you'll be hearing this a lot.

In fact, you'll probably be hearing this scream more than the explosions in Moon Cresta or the frightened squeals of the rats in Frisky Tom, because Crazy Climber is more fun and original than either of them.  The two joystick control starts off a little awkward, then becomes really intuitive... like Robotron, the game just wouldn't be as enjoyable without it.  Frisky Tom isn't too bad... it's a new experience, at least, but it would have been more fun if the title character had some kind of defense against the red and purple rats, like a wrench he could use to pound on the pipes to stun them briefly.  Moon Cresta comes in last... although it inspired Terra Cresta, one of my favorite shooters of all time, the game itself is a simple cross between Galaxian and Megamania, and the docking segments between rounds aren't nearly as intense or demanding as touching down in Lunar Lander, which expected players to adjust their descent perfectly or risk giving the moon yet another crater.

Still, you've got to give Itchibuttsu, er, Noisibussu, uh, Geekiputzu... um, this company credit for releasing three of the best arcade translations ever for the Super NES (you probably have fond memories of Smash TV and Street Fighter II, but trust me, they were not perfect ports).  I couldn't recommend buying the actual cartridge (mostly because there's no way you're going to find it) but it's worth the minute or two it'll take to download the reasonably sized ROM.