DONKEY KONG
CLASSICS |
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NINTENDO |
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ACTION |
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NES |
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I must say that I'm both surprised and amazed by Nintendo's home
conversions of Donkey Kong. I'm surprised the NES version of
the popular coin-op, which was crucial to Nintendo's success as a
game publisher, is not the perfect translation one would
expect. I'm amazed that Nintendo published it a second time
(along with its sequel, Donkey Kong Jr.) with the same flaws and
omissions. Frankly, I think most NES players expected better,
and every Donkey Kong fan deserved better after putting up with a
half-dozen weak translations for other systems. An incomplete
conversion is understandable on the ColecoVision, but Donkey Kong is
Nintendo's own game, and it should have been flawless when designed
by Nintendo's own programmers, on Nintendo's own system.
Considering the circumstances, anything less than the absolute best-
anything less- is unacceptable.
I'm certainly not expecting too much, but maybe I am
overreacting... this conversion of Donkey Kong is far more faithful
to the arcade original than any that have come before it. It
blows away the very incomplete, yet strangely popular, ColecoVision
game with brighter, more colorful graphics, better sound effects,
more accurate physics, and many of the gameplay elements that
punched out around the time the ColecoVision game was under
construction. When Donkey Kong throws a barrel in the NES
version, it rolls all the way to the bottom of the screen until it
reaches the oil can, where it's reborn as a fireball with beady
little eyes. In the ColecoVision game, the same barrel would
make a sneaky exit off the side of the screen after rolling past
Mario. This makes the NES version a lot more exciting and
intense... all those barrels put a lot more pressure on the player,
even if some of them are no longer able to harm him. Speaking
of pressure, Mario doesn't get a free ride from the hammer like he
did on the ColecoVision... this less mighty mallet will only destroy
barrels if it physically touches them. If your back is turned
when one of Donkey Kong's unwelcome gifts hits you, Mario is gonna
die, just as he should. Even those great little point labels
were left intact; leap over something dangerous and the NES will
inform you of your reward, unlike the same game on the
ColecoVision. Apparently, the designers didn't think they were
important... but screw that! They're important to me!
Although there's no question as to which version is best, Donkey
Kong on the NES is still missing a lot of things from the arcade
game. You could have lived without them in 1983, but you tend
to be less forgiving five years later, after you've played the more
complex Super Mario Bros. Just like in the ColecoVision
version, the cement factory is gone, and so are most of the
intermissions... the only one that made it is Donkey Kong taking a
dive after you pull the rug (and girders!) out from under him in the
last round. You'd think it wouldn't be too tough for the NES
to draw a black screen with a few silly looking apes stacked on top
of one another... after all, it was the same system that turned the
otherwise mediocre Ninja Gaiden into a legendary cinematic
experience. This doesn't really affect the gameplay, but the
simplified bonuses and less reliable hammers definitely do.
Jumping clusters of barrels nets you... 100 points for each barrel,
rather than a much deserved special award. The new scoring
mechanics don't give you much incentive to take a risk and clear
multiple barrels at once. As for the hammer, you're no longer
warned when it's about to disappear, which is pretty important
information when the barrels get thick. It would be like Namco
releasing a Pac-Man game where the monsters don't flash white before
turning back... there's just not enough indication of how long you
can count on being protected from the enemies.
The NES version of Donkey Kong Jr. must have been born a year or
two after its pop, because it's a more complete conversion of the
arcade game. You get a complete set of rounds, including a
power plant teeming with deadly sparks. It's no cement
factory, but it does help close the gap between DK and DK Jr. with
its emphasis on jumping rather than climbing. The
intermissions are still gone (which is doubly frustrating, because
who the hell remembers them from the arcade game?), but overall,
this is a better translation than Donkey Kong. The other edge
of this blade is that Donkey Kong Jr. is an inferior game.
Mario's not a great villain (I don't buy him using a whip, not even
during intimate moments with the princess), and Donkey Kong sure as
hell doesn't fit the role of the damsel in distress. Donkey
Kong Jr. fares better than either of them... he lacks the appeal of
today's video game mascots, but he does have a nice blend of toddler
cuteness and gorilla goofiness that adds personality to the
game. However, his inexperience as a hero really shows when
he's climbing ropes at various inconvenient speeds and leaping to
tiny platforms... then missing them. The level design isn't
very impressive either, thanks to the abundance of vines and chains
that slow the game down and make it tough to dodge the flocks of
parrots and Mario's wind-up bear traps (I bet these would be a lot
more useful to Mario now, although they don't really fit his current
harmless image. Maybe he'll lend a few to Wario when he gets
his own GameCube game).
Of course, there are some people out there who probably loved
Donkey Kong Jr., and wouldn't mind getting a competant translation
of Donkey Kong to go along with it. I'm sure they'll be
satisfied with this cartridge, but I'm not. I just can't be
happy with a good version of Donkey Kong when I'm sure Nintendo
could have made a perfect one.
FREEDOM
FORCE |
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SUNSOFT |
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LIGHT GUN |
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NES |
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Although it
was one of the most widely distributed peripherals ever, Nintendo's
Light Zapper didn't get much use past the obligatory games of Duck
Hunt when players first took their systems out of the box. How
many other light gun games do you remember for the NES? I'm
guessing that, unless you had a subscription to Nintendo Power from
the very beginning and still haven't let yours lapse, you can only
come up with Operation: Wolf and possibly Baby Boomer... and that's
only if you were a sadist who thought you could actually fire at the
baby. Whatever you came up with, it's unlikely that you
thought of Freedom Force at all. That's a shame, because this
often ignored Sunsoft release was easily one of the best NES games
specifically designed for the Zapper.
As the name suggests, Freedom Force has you and a friend (if you
don't mind passing the gun around like a hot potato between rounds)
battling terrorists. Neither the identity of these bag-headed
bastards or their ambitions are ever really explained in the game
itself, but hey... they're terrorists, and they're holding Americans
hostage. What more motivation do you need to blow them
away?
Like most NES Zapper games, Freedom Force is more a test of
accuracy than today's over the top titles, which require fast,
constant firing. Once a terrorist is shot, you can put the
rest of his body in a bag and forget about him... this isn't House
of the Dead, where you have to puree' the enemy with bullets before
it finally gets the point and stays down. Speaking of which,
it's worth pointing out that Freedom Force is pretty simplistic in
comparison to Sega's light gun games. You can't break any
background objects, and there are no hidden items. The few
bonuses you can get are collected from the lower right hand corner
of the screen rather than from enemies. Just be careful when
you try to get these, because the computer likes to throw in an icon
of a terrorist... nick this with a bullet and the screen will
quickly become congested with angry bagheads.
That's one thing that keeps this admittedly simplistic game from
becoming boring... it can get intense. You'll have to fire
quickly and precisely to tag all the terrorists and keep yourself
from being injured by their sprays of machine gun fire and
grenades. The hostages and a limited supply of ammo keep you
from getting too reckless, although you can rack up quite a body
count before the game bothers to punish you for your mistakes.
Aside from this, the game is pretty realistic... instead of shooting
cute duckies or cardboard cutouts, you're in a serious real-life
situation, and the game very nicely reflects this. Enemies
don't just flash when you shoot them... they'll collapse, sometimes
falling out of windows and always spurting a little blood. The
animation in general is excellent for an early NES game... you can
see just how evil the terrorists really are when they shove hostages
into doorways, hoping to use them as a diversion, then yank them
back out if you don't take the bait. The music is just as
exciting, especially once the penalty icon's been hit... after an
initial note warning you of your mistake, the soundtrack becomes
incredibly frantic. If you remember the boss fights in
Sunsoft's more popular game Blaster Master you'll know what to
expect.
Unfortunately, Freedom Force's requirement of a light gun kept
players from paying much attention to it when it was first released,
and it's just as detrimental now that most people play NES games on
emulators. Most emulators just don't have support for light
gun games, and the few that do expect you to play the games with a
mouse instead. As you might imagine, it's a lot tougher to
kill a terrorist with a mouse than a gun, not to mention a lot less
satisfying. That's why I couldn't really recommend Silent
Scope for the Dreamcast, and it's why I can only recommend playing
Freedom Force on a real NES. Sure, it takes a lot of effort to
actually get a Nintendo Entertainment System to work, but you'll be
happy you struggled with it after you've played a few games of this
outstanding shooter.
HOGAN'S
ALLEY |
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NINTENDO |
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LIGHT GUN |
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SYSTEM |
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Since picking
up Freedom Force, I've gotten into the odd habit of collecting NES
light gun games. However, if most of them are as bland and
uninvolving as Hogan's Alley, I'll probably kick this habit like a
bad... well, you know.
There are three different modes in Hogan's Alley... the first is
a very simple reproduction of a police firing range. Three
cardboard cutouts are pulled into the end of a corridor, then
flipped around revealing both dastardly criminals and mild-mannered
citizens. The artwork for these characters is probably the
best part of the game... they're very well drawn charicatures of
sleazy thugs, grumpy old men, and stick-wielding, big-chinned
cops. You can almost hear the Edward G. Robinson imitation
when you blast that snarling mafia boss, complete with sunglasses
and a corsage. Unfortunately, this silly yet savory Nintendo
cheese is spread across a very thin cracker... you'll deal with the
same number of targets in the exact same places every single time,
and you'll spend more time waiting for those targets to roll into
place than firing at them.
The game picks up a little in the second mode, which takes the
same six targets and distributes them throughout a small, simply
drawn city. All you'll find in this town are a construction
site, a gun shop (which makes sense, since nearly everyone in the
game seems to have one), and an apartment building, all drawn with
text and leftover Super Mario Bros. and Donkey Kong graphics.
They're functional at best, but the backgrounds do give the targets
more places to hide, rather than lining up in neat little rows just
waiting to be picked off. Some of the cutouts will even move
while they're vulnerable, too, which adds variety to the game (boy,
does it ever need some).
The final mode, the can toss, is the most clever but also the
most frustrating game in Hogan's Alley. In it, cans will fly
from the right of the screen, and you've got to guide them to the
ledges on the left by firing at them. The lower the ledge, the
higher the points you'll get... however, if the can hits the side of
the ledge rather than landing on top, it bounces off and forces you
to continue firing to keep it in mid-air. This portion of the
game is frustrating because the cans are very small, and you'll
generally miss them unless you fire several times. After a few
minutes of this, your fingers start hurting because the Zapper's
trigger is so hard to squeeze down... and because you keep pointing
the middle one at the screen when the cans somehow pass through your
hail of bullets and fall off the screen.
I'm not sure if Hogan's Alley was this dull and annoying as an
arcade game, or if this is yet another of Nintendo's lackluster
arcade translations, with more accurate graphics than conversions
for older systems but the same incomplete gameplay. Whatever's
the case, you should save your ammo for something better... I
personally suggest the aforementioned Freedom Force.
MECHANIZED
ATTACK |
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SNK |
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LIGHT GUN |
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NES |
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OPERATION
WOLF |
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TAITO |
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LIGHT GUN |
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NES |
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Please excuse any typos you might find in this
review... I'm typing this with only nine fingers. The tenth
fell off from a frantic session of Mechanized Attack and I think the
cat carried it under the couch.
That's the problem with both of these games... they're just not
suited to the NES and its light gun. I didn't have many
complaints about the Zapper before, but after the arthritis-inducing
combination of Operation Wolf and SNK's derivitive Mechanized
Attack, its limitations become pretty clear. The same gun that
was great for simple, slow-paced target shooting just isn't a match
for hundreds of angry, sometimes bullet-resistant soldiers... the
Zapper's trigger is too tight to squeeze repeatedly over a long
period of time. Also, the screen flashes that were tolerable
in Nintendo's less demanding light gun games become overwhelming
here... they're enough to make an epileptic's head explode.
If you think you can handle all of that, you're going to have a
lot of fun with Mechanized Attack... although not so much with
Operation Wolf. After milking the game in arcades for years,
Taito evidently didn't think that it would be important to spend
much time porting it to the NES. The situation was reversed
for Mechanized Attack... this clone of Taito's extremely popular
light gun shooter didn't get much attention in arcades, so SNK used
its second chance more wisely, making the home version of Mechanized
Attack good enough to keep Zapper fans playing even at the risk of
snapping off their trigger fingers.
Mechanized Attack benefits greatly from SNK's extra attention,
which you'll see once you compare it to Operation Wolf. The
graphics are more detailed and clearly defined, making it easier to
pinpoint and take down each enemy. The backgrounds in both
games are pretty repetitive, but you won't mind seeing five screens
of the same jungle quite so much in Mechanized Attack thanks to the
more intricate artwork. There are enough soldiers in
SNK's game to keep you blasting, but never enough to make you feel
helpless, which was a common occurance in Operation Wolf.
Mechanized Attack also gives you extra lives to go with your two
credits, giving you a shot at beating the game. Frankly,
you'll be lucky to beat the first round of Op Wolf thanks to its
unfair difficulty. Even the control is better in Mechanized
Attack... both games force you to press a button on the joystick to
launch a grenade, but it's much more reliable in SNK's shooter...
once you press the button, you can count on your character throwing
a grenade in the exact spot you're holding the Zapper.
Finally, Mechanized Attack has a wide variety of bosses, some very
large and a lot of fun to fight against. I've never found any
in Operation Wolf, although it's possible they do exist... when you
can't make it past the second round of the game, it's hard to say
for sure.
The only thing that Operation Wolf does better than Mechanized
Attack are intermissions from the arcade game, and even those are a
little disappointing... where once there were detailed backgrounds
behind your soldier, there is only empty blackness. Mechanized
Attack gives you a single picture of your soldier getting gunned
down, and that's more impressive than any three of Operation Wolf's
stills put together.
If you think that Nintendo's more sedate light gun games are too
light on incoming and outgoing lead, you'll be thankful for
Mechanized Attack. As for Operation Wolf, it's best played
with a real gun, using the cartridge as a target. Just be sure
to use a high calibur weapon on this low calibur game.
NINJA
GAIDEN |
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TECMO |
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ACTION |
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NES |
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Sometimes less is indeed
more. Having just gone back and played both of these games, I can
say that the dramatic departure of the simpler yet almost
paradoxically more clever NES game from its arcade counterpart is
something to behold. How, pray tell? Well, let me attempt to
explain.
The arcade version of Ninja Gaiden is basically a Double Dragon
clone with impressive graphics, poor controls, unimaginative
enemies, and inscrutable action. Although the scissor leg grab is
well-done, that’s about the only thing I’d say is inspired.
Basically you run around in two and a half dimensions fighting the
same two or three clones (one Jason Vorhees lookalike, one vest-clad
stick-wielding biker type) with poor moves. All those clones
eventually and quite unfairly gang up on the player... don’t they
have the decency to attack individually like in nearly all other
martial arts contests? Much of the stuff on the streets is
breakable, revealing gems, vitamins, and other items invaluable to a
ninja battling thugs. On the rare occasion that a sword is given, of
course, it only lasts a short duration. Not that your ninja ever
thought of using the sword on his BACK, mind you. It seems rather
silly that the best attack is performed by grabbing overhead bars
and using the leverage to kick with both feet. In addition to that,
all sorts of unfair objects like oncoming traffic will cause the
player to mindlessly continue until the enemies and obstacles have
been overcome. The only neat thing about this whole game is the
CONTINUE? screen which depicts our helpless martial arts expert
(deservedly) about to be bifurcated by a rotating saw. Ninja Gaiden
certainly doesn’t have the ability to hold interest like other
quarter munching fighters like TMNT, Crime Fighters, Double Dragon,
The Simpsons, Shinobi, or even Bad Dudes.
However, the NES version is quite different. Why
this was given the same title is a mystery. This is your basic
side-scroller, but in addition to your sword are useful powerups
including throwing stars, fire, the ability to freeze time,
"boomerang" shurikens, and others. The appearance of the levels,
characters, bosses, etc. are merely adequate, as are the sounds.
However, the challenge of each level and surprisingly attractive
cinematic sequences will keep gamers coming back for more. It’s hard
as hell to complete some of these jumps while avoiding and/or
annihilating enemies at the same time, but you just KNOW you can do
it if you persist. A very tough, very enjoyable game, the original
Ninja Gaiden on the NES is my personal favorite in the series.
So, avoid the arcade game, but don’t miss the NES version of
Ninja Gaiden. Hopefully the update will be worthwhile,
too...