ZOO LOGIC The concept of gaming comics isn't as original as it was when Penny Arcade published its first strip.  However, Zoo Logic is a fairly novel idea... it's a comic series about video games, featuring a cast that hates video games.  They didn't always feel this way... they just have a hard time accepting the hobby as it is today, with the emphasis shifted from great gameplay to glossy graphics (generally presented in cumbersome 3D) and endless film clips.  Zoo Logic's main characters, Clyde Clawmoore and MJ Rabbsnik, still cling to the hobby out of respect for the good old days, and in the hope that things will get better.  However, they make it a point to complain whenever game companies do something stupid... which these days is pretty often. Anyway, the cast is largely composed of fur-covered charicatures of myself and the people I've known over the years.  Is there any particular reason that all the characters are animals?  Aside from the fact that they look really cool that way, no.  There's no backstory, no important plotlines, and no villain scheming to take over the universe (unless Sony counts).  Many furry comics benefit greatly from all this detail, but in this one it'd be just needless filler.  Zoo Logic has just one purpose... to examine both past and present events in the history of video games, and with any luck, find the humor in them. Oh yeah... if any of my friends recognize themselves in the cast (which will be expanded as the series continues), don't worry... I won't rough you up too much.  The majority of the punishment will be heaped onto my own alter ago Clyde.  If you haven't been included yet but think you might be in the future, feel free to talk to me about it and I'll come up with a character that'll satisfy both of us.  Finally, if you're already in furry fandom and want in, I'll just use your current alter ego and credit you for that character at the end of the comic. CAST SLOTH BEAR (Melursus Ursinus) The sloth bear, as illustrated by this specimen Clyde Clawmoore, is an oddity among its kind, easily recognized by the white chevron on its chest (hidden here by a Super Marijuana Brothers T-shirt) and long tufts of fur extending from its ears and cheeks. The sloth bear earns its name from a combination of slow movement and very long claws (chewed nearly to the quick by this male).  Like other bears, this native of India and certain parts of Michigan is omnivorous.  However, the sloth bear enjoys insects most of all and will dig up nests of ants or termites, then inhale them through a gap in its teeth... or just enjoy them in a Nessie's Insect Crunch Bar.  This subject is scatterbrained and easily provoked... keep a stun gun or at least a Game Boy Advance with you if you approach him. JACKRABBIT (Lagomorpha Lagomorpha) The jackrabbit is not really a rabbit at all but a member of the closely related hare family.  Hares are different from rabbits in that their sight, fur, and obsession with anime are all available to them from the moment of birth.  This male, named Marstorius Jackson Rabbsnik but more commonly referred to as MJ Rabbsnik, sports a light brown coat typical of his species.  He also has a strong hatred of the software company Rare, a common trait among all species.  As a prey animal, hares are generally very timid, but this male exhibits assertive behavior, befriending the sloth bear mentioned earlier.  However, this animal does possess the strong sex drive one would expect from a rabbit or hare, drawing detailed pictures of large breasted woman on countless occasions. AMERICAN BADGER (Taxidea Taxus) Although normally a fierce and determined creature, the badger can be placated.  To demonstrate this, we've given this male, Colin Kristof, a copy of the freshly released Game Cube title Human Crossing (we don't know why the human on the cover is naked, but we assure you that the appendage springing forth from his body is a thumb).  Instead of relentless pursuing us and shredding our flesh with his sharp claws, we can rest assured that this animal will return to his burrow and spend many peaceful hours transferring ancient NES games to his favorite handheld entertainment system.  Badgers are easily recognized by their cream white faces lined with dark markings, their brown bodies ending in black feet, and their favorite apparel, a dark magenta polo shirt. EASTERN GREY SQUIRREL (Sciurus Carolinensis) Despite the name, the Eastern Grey Squirrel can be found in a variety of colors.  Normally this female specimen, Shirley McNutt, would be a deep brown, but at the moment the animal has turned a bright red after reading the sign held by a (sexual) predator.  This female has been endlessly pursued by every species of gamer despite being only modestly attractive and possessing a fashion sense only Paula Poundstone could appreciate.  It is suspected that being the only female newscaster at a cable television network known primarily for its gaming coverage is responsible for this.  This animal struggles to bring professional journalism to Dreck TV but is constantly thwarted by her amorous coworkers and the increasingly stupid gaming industry. EXTINCT:  One red fox, Vulpus Vulpus.  Our subject was difficult to track, making only rare appearances until it was recently hit by a car.  Which was run over by a monster truck.  Which, in turn, was struck by a commercial aircraft, several meteorites, and a large chunk of the planet Jupiter.  We couldn't find enough of the remains to ascertain the subject's death, but it's safe to assume that it will not be seen again. 4/15/2001 The first Zoo Logic strip, published in my old newsletter The Gameroom Blitz. 6/1/2001 Zoo Logic's premiere on Keenspace, or Keenspot, or whatever the hell it's called. 6/5/2001 Suggestion: If you want to make your game look 2D, uh, why not just make it 2D? 6/8/2001 Yes they are, Clyde.  Yes they are. 6/12/2001 MJ loses his patience over a joke I, er, CLYDE, has beaten into the ground for years. 6/16/2001 Josh Lesnick's first and only Zoo Logic strip.  Naturally, it was better than most of mine. 8/1/2001 The characters get official names in this amusing, if confusing, strip. 8/13/2001 Contradictory?  Not really.  See, I hate Lara Croft, but love making fun of her boobs. 8/16/2001 I don't usually make it a habit to punch out my friends, but in this case... 10/2/2001 The sad saga of a Pac-Man fan continually disappointed by the home conversions. 10/16/2001 Who wasn't angry about the Shenmue II cancellation? 10/19/2001 Keen-whatever's last Zoo Logic strip.  The comic went dead for a while after this. 6/7/2002 Zoo Logic's return, featuring the first appearance of newscaster Shirley McNutt. 6/20/2002 There's an in-joke hidden within the Smurf references in this comic. 7/27/2002 Crazy Taxi's jumping cabs and overweight film critics: a deadly combination. 8/10/2002 Everyone loves Penny Arcade, but they don't need fourteen thousand rip-offs of it. 8/24/2002 Zoo Logic slams on the breaks and goes into hiatus for a while. 9/14/2002 "What's in the box marked '3D Control'"?  Uh, take a wild guess. 10/7/2002 Let's see somebody trump this card. 10/14/2002 Recognize the walrus?  If you do, you've probably been reading for a LONG time. 10/28/2002 They used to call her "Bink" in school. 11/6/2002 The latest explanation for the latest comic delay. 11/18/2002 The line for the lynch mob forms to the left. 11/25/2002 You can tell this was a bit rushed just by looking at Clyde's sudden weight gain. 12/9/2002 I'm convinced Honduras doesn't want their kids to have any fun at all. 12/16/2002 "Knock it off, I'm an endangered species!!!" (Kevin J. Dog is © 2003 Newshounds) 1/6/2003 Jack from Will and Grace has got nothin' on this guy. 1/13/2003 Gross incompetance is a registered trademark of the United States Postal Service. 1/20/2003 The waiting really is the hardest part when you're running MAME. 2/3/2003 What is art?  In Rez's case, it's just plain weird. 2/10/2003 Wow, I've never seen a company UNrelease a game before! 2/24/2003 Actually, I shouldn't be giving SNK any suggestions.  They could very well USE them. 3/4/2003 You don't need Richard Dawson to predict the outcome of this survey. 3/15/2003 This kid's gonna have issues when she grows up.  IF she grows up, that is. 3/24/2003 It's about time Colin was introduced to the comic! 4/17/2003 Trauma provided by special guest star Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin. 4/21/2003 I hate to be pessimistic about Sega's future, but at this point, it's kinda hard not to be... 5/13/2003 Zoo Logic newcomer Byron makes one too many demands of Nintendo's handheld. 6/04/2003 Some people just can't accept retirement... 6/28/2003 Finishing things up (for now, at least) is a fight between Clyde and Johnny Turbo. 9/1/2003 The reason I don't play Dance Dance Revolution much. 9/9/2003 Clyde's feeling sick, perhaps in anticipation of the NBC sitcom "Whoopi". 9/16/2003 "Rip-off" is such a harsh word... I like to think of this as a tribute to Homestar Runner! 9/29/2003 Henry Winkler, you're no John Ritter.  And you're no Mario, either.  10/29/2003 Never turn your back on a mischevious familiar. 12/19/2003 My kingdom for video game coverage that's not snide and condescending! 1/12/2004 Another month, another comic.  This one focuses on the media's bias against gaming. 3/12/2004 I don't get it.  Was losing Viacom's channels supposed to be a BAD thing? 4/29/2004 Piss off this frog, and YOU'LL be toast. 7/19/2004 It's the obsession by Shigeru Miyamoto and Hideo Kojima, not Calvin Klein.

	NATURE OF THE BEAST A mysterious laboratory creates sentient life by injecting human DNA into the offspring of animals as they rest in the womb.  The result?  Creatures known as hybrids... animals who walk and talk as we do.  The scientists responsible for this new technology intended to use it to improve the world, but their work was spoiled when investors forced them to create prototype soldiers.  Their only option was to smuggle the hybrids, all still very young, out of the laboratory before destroying it and themselves in a massive explosion from which nothing could be recovered.  For the good of mankind and its creations, Denaris Developments swallowed the key to the secrets of life. I'd originally intended this comic to be a drama, exploring the relationship between humans and hybrids.  How would life be different for a hybrid?  How would they deal with instincts and traits exclusive to their respective species?  What kinds of prejudice would they encounter?  And what would it be like to be raised by foster parents who, despite their best efforts, could never fully understand what you're going through and how you feel?  I want to spend time with all of these questions and more, but I'm not quite ready for it... my artwork, in its current state, would probably make these emotional moments seem more silly than serious. Until I'm confident enough about my art to begin a dramatic series, I'll just have a little fun with Nature of the Beast, telling corny jokes and developing both the mascot of this site and his female counterpart.  One thing I'd planned for the serious strip that will still be used in this one is a fast-forward button... occasionally, I'll feel like writing a comic about Byron and Elle as adults, and the comic will jump a few (or many) years forward in time to accomodate this.  These comics will be appropriately labeled, although Byron's sudden lack of diapers and my more grizzled, George Lucas-esque look should already make the jump pretty obvious. CAST BYRON J. LISAMEN (later, Byron J. Lennox) Byron would be just like any other toddler... if it weren't for the fact that he's also two-thirds brown bear.  Engineered by Denaris Developments as a high-tech alternative to seeing eye dogs, Byron was left on the doorstep of a rural home after Denaris was forced out of business.  Like most two year olds, he's stubborn and hyperactive, but Byron's got a good heart.  He becomes a very popular pro wrestler named "Kid Kodiak" when he grows up. ELLE SANDERS (later, Ellen Sanders, Esq.) Nicknamed the cinnamon girl, this black bear with reddish-brown fur was found unconscious on the porch of the Ragan residence.  Although revived and returned to full health, Elle can't remember a thing about her life at Denaris.  She quickly assumes the role of Byron's big sister and takes care of him when Jess can't muster the energy for it.  Elle's high intellect comes in handy later when she studies to become a lawyer representing other hybrids.  JESS RAGAN Denaris Developments had intended to give Byron to the perfect parent, a former veternarian's assistant living on an isolated hobby farm.  However, since she was out of town that day, the job went to her immature slacker son, who was housesitting at the time.  Ill-equipped for fatherhood at first, Jess eventually gets used to raising both Byron and Elle... and grows a little himself from the experience. 4/8/2002 This shot at Penny Arcade could be considered the first Nature of the Beast comic. 7/20/2002 The chicks call him Huggies Bear. 8/3/2002 I like bears, but not enough to actually see this piece of crap. 8/17/2002 Byron takes some time off to star in Chris Farrington's comic Eleven Will Die. 9/9/2002 Five years forward: the Byron and Elle back to school special. 9/30/2002 An oldie drawn years before Nature of the Beast officially debuted. 9/30/2002 I'm convinced nobody really has the answer to this question. 12/31/2003 Well, someone had to say it. 3/10/2003 Just a little something to keep you guessing... 5/2/2003 The resemblence is, uh, completely coincidential.  Honest!

	RANDOMIZER Finally, here are some gaming comics, mostly drawn with sprites, that have nothing to do with the ones listed above.  I find that sprite comics can be a refreshing look at the games you used to enjoy when you were younger... if, that is, you can surprise the reader with them.  Some folks have entire comic series devoted to one particular game and its sequels, and that's a little too limiting for my tastes.  I'd rather just find something ridiculous about a game at random and poke fun at it, hence the name of this section. 2084ban.gif Presented both with and without Byron. 26hunt.gif Geez... can you believe they actually gave this guy a movie?! akane.gif Akane introduces a whole new way to press CDs.  With a hammer. alexy.gif For the last time, dammit, that's NOT Yakov Smirnoff! amyrose.gif At least she's a little more modest than that stupid white bat. andynmai.gif I'm still wondering if they did it, and if Hotokumaru from Garou is their son. boobraid.gif Talk about an overinflated celebrity. brownsap.gif Here's the first thing I thought of when the Dreamcast was cancelled. bsketch.gif This is Byron as imagined by Kiken, the editor of Dodge the Bullet. bstar.gif I guess I should leave this sort of thing to the Zany Video Game Quote guys. bycarl.gif A punked out interpretation of Byron by contributor Carl Schafer. bypose.gif Byron strikes a dynamic pose.  I like this drawing, even if the perspective needs work. byronbao.gif Everyone's least favorite GRB staffer imitates everyone's least favorite KOF99 fighter. bystyle.gif A stylized drawing of Byron.  Eh, coloring inside the lines is boring! chohatsu.gif Here's my imitation of various crappy fighting games, inspired by the Neo-Geo Pocket. cbently.gif A guest illustration by Chris Farrington, featuring Byron as Bentley from Crystal Castles. clydepic.gif It's Clyde Clawmoore, possibly posing for a Gap ad. cowpoke.gif Yes, it's immature.  But this abysmal Treasure RPG more than deserves it. danrips.gif Dan goes toe-to-toe with some suspiciously familiar characters. dansmash.gif This Mortal Kombat-esque scene is actually from the first Street Fighter! domokun.gif Sorry, Farkers, but I can't get excited about this freaky brown monster. driltoon.gif What if Mr. Driller got a job in a New Mexico landfill? emersuck.gif Best viewed with the sound clip. fortune2.gif I'd die a very happy man if I found this in my next fortune cookie. gaydar.gif Gone, but too horrible not to be forgotten. goldngun.gif A scene from the James Bond film The Man With the Golden Gun, with Roger Moore. grboobs.gif Stacked bimbo provided by Asuka 120%, a very impressive Playstation fighter.  grbxcast.gif This Crystal Castles tribute was a tag-team effort between Chris Farrington & myself. guy.gif That's supposed to be Nick Rox getting the crap beaten out of him, by the way. hercxena.gif Look for this cartoon in the phone book under "Wasted Opportunities". horrible.gif Nuclear war, starvation, Adolph Hitler, and Shinoken... the worst disasters in history. itchbutt.gif Ever have an itch you just couldn't reach?  Nihon Bussan's owl feels your pain. jerkson.gif He and Clinton were like two penises in a pod. journban.gif Journey redefined rock and roll... the new definition is rock and dung rolling beetles. kirbhump.gif My current avatar on the Digital Press message boards. lenosux.gif "Kep'n!  That black hole is sucking all the comedy out of the universe!" megax2.gif Just thinking about fighting Sigma in this game makes me want to slit my wrists. mkdan.gif Presenting the most threatening Mortal Kombat ninja ever... Flamingo! nichi2.gif Crazy Climber never gets quite this intense, thank goodness. nitemare.gif Russ Perry discovers a fate worse than death. nutless.gif What does Viacom have against rednecks, anyway?  Wait... oh yeah. parasuck.gif Looks like Sub-Zero has some use after all. pockrock.gif I guess that would make me a mini-pino goblin. pokecrap.gif Looks like Ash finally came to his senses. rangers.gif One of the guilty pleasures from the early 90's. riserob.gif Danger... danger, Will Robinson!  Crappy fighting game detected! sakura.gif Admit it... you stared at her "Flower Kick" just as much as the rest of us. shaqfu3.gif I didn't use this one in Fighter's Misery, but perhaps I should have. shaqjord.gif I better not give them any ideas... they might star in a film together. shotrama.gif He really hates it when people step on his feet and stuff trash in his neck. spidgoat.gif I had to have a little fun with my digital camera, right?  That's my mom's goat. superspy.gif "HI, I'M GILBERT GOTTFRIED, AND I STAR IN THIS COMIC!!!" topbyron.gif A rather annoyed Byron, redirecting readers to the Overclocked server. viasmash.gif Why yes, I do hate Viacom and Paramount. warrior.gif Way of the Warrior didn't even get minor financial gains, let alone major ones. women.gif Josh Lesnick wonders aloud why Mario keeps getting more cake than princess. yerfbash.gif I need to get this on a T-shirt.  I'm sure plenty of people would want one. zalid.gif Luckily, SNK's bosses are getting toned down, encouraging you to, well, play more. zerowd.gif See?  The game could have been translated a little TOO well. zooyogi.gif Clyde and Byron, looking smarter (and more simply drawn!) than the average bear.