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Y'know, I went to school
with a guy who looked like a Ferengi... he even had Quark's big ears
(well, they weren't THAT big), jagged teeth, and recessed eyes. The
dude had a lighter skin tone, and no facial ridges, but believe me,
he wouldn't need nearly as much latex as Armin Shimerman to pass for
a member of that race...
...And so begins my tribute
to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Oooh, they're torturing Nana Visitor!
I've been waiting years to see that... Oh, sorry; kinda got
distracted there. Anyways, I'm a big Star Trek fan, but things
didn't start out that way... I watched the original as a kid, but
looking back I generally regard the cheesy special effects and
Shatner's weak acting (to say nothing of those utterly satanic
Paramount logos. Why the hell did Gulf and Western make these so
maddeningly loud and obnoxious? They're the TV equivalent of nails
on a chalkboard! But I digress...) as rather painful. It wasn't
until the late 80's that I really got into Star Trek, once
Roddenberry created Star Trek: The Next Generation. The special
effects took a quantum leap forward (thanks to the folks at
Industrial Light and Magic, a subsidiary of Lucasfilm Sound!), and
the acting was substancially better as well, without the
self-charicaturization that made the first Star Trek a target of
countless comedians, sketch comedies, and cartoons (how many Shatner
imitations have YOU counted in Tiny Toons alone?).
And then came Deep Space
Nine. It took me a while to adjust to the cancellation of NextGen
and accept DS9 as its successor, but once I'd approached the show
with an open mind, I found it to be nearly as entertaining as the
series it replaced. I especially appreciate its departure from the
typical Star Trek cliche's... the cast is no longer floating
aimlessly through space, and there's a stronger emphasis on the
differences and conflicts between alien races. As for the
characters, well, they've undergone some changes (Rom wasn't the
Gilligan of DS9 at the beginning of the series, and Odo's voice has
become more distinct), but my opinion of the main and supporting
cast has more or less stayed the same. And heeeeere it- oh, I fixed
that not so little "Sisko" misspelling, in case you cared- is!!!
AVERY BROOKS AS
BENJAMIN SISKO: He's the successor to Patrick Stewart's
throne as Star Trek's central focus, and does a pretty good job of
filling his shoes. He came off as wooden in the first season of the
series, but I've gotta admit that he's grown into the role since
then. As DS9 characters go, I'd give Avery's a 7.
CIRROC LOFTON AS
JAKE SISKO: With Mac Culkin and the Olsen twins around,
it's nice to have someone like Cirroc around to reaffirm your faith
in child actors. He's definitely an improvement over NextGen's
junior ensign Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton), although the writers
rarely take advantage of his talent. Hell, he was more integral to
the plot of that Capri-Sun commercial than most of DS9's scripts...
8
ARON EISENBURG AS
NOG: He's an even better actor than Cirroc, although this
could be the bias talking since I'm so fond of DS9's Ferengi
characters. His size is a little disturbing, though... he hasn't
grown an inch since the beginning of the series, and seeing Aron in
the role of a middle-aged Nog, with no change in height, was more
than a little weird. Still, he's a great actor, and that's what
counts. 8
TERRY FARRELL AS
JADZIA DAX: She's not terribly dynamic, but Terry Farrell's
character is reasonably complex (mostly due to her symbiotic
properties) and as Julian Bashir will tell you, she ain't hard on
the eyes either (said in my best Groucho Marx)... 7
NANA VISITOR AS KIRA
NERYS: Probably my least favorite character on the show. It
simply astounds me that the woman who plays this shrill Bajoran
ex-terrorist has a fan club, 'cuz I sure as hell don't find anything
that special about her. She makes a decent villian in the parallel
universe episodes, though... what a sadist! And what a sex drive!
>:) 6
RENE AUBERJONOIS AS
ODO: Rene's kind of a tight ass in this role, but I guess
that's the point, isn't it? I like his cynicism, but it seems as
though the character was included to give the producers an excuse to
add more of the gratuitous special effects which helped make the
show popular. He's a good actor, though (and a decent voice-over
artist, too, if The Adventures of Batman and Robin is any
indication...). 8
ARMIN SHIMERMAN AS
QUARK: The original conniving intergalactic troll! Sure,
Quark's a manipulative, greedy jerk, but he's played so charmingly
by Armin Shimerman that you're probably going to wind up LIKING him
for his more devious qualities. If anyone has a .GIF of Armin
without his Ferengi make-up, PLEASE send the picture my way and I'll
incorporate it within a future installment of Spaced Out. 9
MAX GRODENCHIK AS
ROM: Er, no comment. I'm sure there are fans of this
character, but Rom kind of annoys me with his dopey voice and clumsy
mannerisms. The strangest thing is that he wasn't even LIKE this in
the first few episodes... why the sudden change? Did they swap
actors without my knowing it, or did Rom suffer some sort of head
trauma in an episode I'd missed? Would somebody care to explain this
to me? 6
ALEXANDER SIDDIG AS
JULIAN BASHIR: Siddig carries on the tradition of the great
white libido, a role first explored by William Shatner and Jonathan
Frakes. It looks as though he'll be the last in the lineage, too,
thanks to the neuters on the starship Voyager... urf. Anyhoo,
Bashir's a likable character, but the producers may be stretching
his charisma a little too far with episodes like Our Man Bashir.
Don't get me wrong... as a closet fan of Sean Connery and Roger
Moore's 007 films, I found the parody pretty amusing, but placing
too strong a focus on the medical officer is bad mojo for me. It's
not like they'd devoted entire episodes of NextGen to Gates
McFadden, right? Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong... 7
COLM MEANEY AS CHIEF
O'BRIEN: I had my doubts about this character, since he was
ported from NextGen, and Deep Space Nine is unique enough to not
need cast-offs from the previous "Star Trek", but actor Colm
Meaney's great work in a recent episode (where O'Brien served twenty
years of virtual prison time) have pretty much proved that he's as
important to the cast as any of the newer characters. 7
MICHAEL DORN AS
WORF: I realize that DS9 needed a boost in ratings, but was
this the way to do it? Michael Dorn never really did much for me as
the only Klingon officer in NextGen, as his portrayal of Worf was
rather stiff and the character was kind of a weenie in comparison to
other Klingons. I'm sorry to say it, folks, but I'm no more enthused
about him now that he's a member of the Deep Space Nine crew.
6
ANDREW ROBINSON AS
GARAK: When the DS9 producers need to pep up the plot, they
can always count on plain, simple Garak to do the job. Contrary to
what he may tell you, Garak is hardly a simple tailor, and it's his
charming, manipulative nature that adds spice to the series. Actor
Andrew Robinson stumbles a bit in DS9's more dramatic scenes, but
overall I'd give his performances a 7.
What's this? I just caught a
glimpse of the first episode of DS9! Hoo hah! I'd never watched
Emissary before, and I'll tell you, I was quite impressed with the
beefed up special effects (Odo's never looked better as a pile of
gelatinous goo!) and cameo appearances by Patrick Stewart (as both
Picard and the leader of the Borg! How cool is that?). Still, I
think Sisko was trapped in the wormhole for just a bit TOO long in
the second episode... I liked the trippy flashback sequences as much
as the next guy, but did they have to go on for nearly twenty
minutes!? Yeesh...
I've been watching the first
Star Trek series lately, too, and was pleasantly surprised by the
relative sophistication of the plots (they're not DS9 quality, and
they do seem a bit condescending, but regardless Star Trek is
undoubtedly more cerebral than other 60's sci-fi shows). The poor
special effects and lousy film quality are still a turn-off (which
is why I have to question Rick Berman's sanity for including footage
from The Trouble With Tribbles in an upcoming DS9 episode. It had
better be used in one of Quark's holosuites!), but the show's other
faults, the melodramatic acting and obnoxious music, don't bother me
as much as I'd thought they would. And y'know what's really cool?
The fact that Majel Barrett (Deanna Troi's mother... you know, the
Betazoid woman who has the hots for Odo?) has been in ALL FOUR Star
Trek series, if you count the voice-overs she's done for the Voyager
computer systems. Really! Rent a copy of The Way to Eden (one of the
episodes from the first Star Trek) and check out the end credits if
you don't believe me. I didn't recognize her in the episode itself,
but when the credits were rolling by, sure enough, she was listed as
one of the supporting characters. Weird, but cool.
And another thing... is
anyone interested in those Star Trek paperbacks by Paramount's book
publishing arm, Simon & Schuster? I didn't think so. I'm sorry,
but they read as though the authors take quotes from the series and
add such inspired prefixes as "Sisko said dubiously" and "Kira
pondered aloud". Egad. Well, there's finally a literary work with
the Star Trek license that's actually WORTH reading. It's called The
Official Star Trek Passport or something like that and it has a lot
of neat trivia about the planets encountered in the first three
series alongside panoramic (albeit somewhat pixelated) skyscapes of
such locales as Quo'oth, Betazed, and Cardassia. I do have a few
complaints: six bucks is a lot of dough for such a small handbook
(it's nearly pamphlet sized!), and there are inconsistancies such as
the huge picture of Romulus (which the passport clearly states is
unauthorized territory... then how'd they get the snapshot?), but
it's still the best piece of Star Trek paraphenilia I've seen since
Playmates' Deep Space Nine action figures. Rabid fans of the series
will want to buy a copy of the passport despite the price, but six
clams is just too rich for my blood. If they were to cut the cost to
three dollars,
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