I asked the readers of Atari Age
what I could do to improve this page... I received a
variety of different responses, but the one thing they
agreed on was that the 26 Hunter needed an opener.
So, I'll start this introduction by describing my
own introduction to Atari's most popular game
system.
I've been a fan of video games ever since the late
70's, when I was a very young child, but surprisingly,
the 2600 was not the first game system I'd owned.
My mother was convinced by a Magnovox salesman that the
Odyssey2, with its more futuristic look and built-in
keyboard, was the way to go, so my brother and I were
stuck playing games like War of Nerves! and Spin-Out!
for a couple of years. Every once in a while,
though, we'd go over to our neighbors' house, or visit a
cousin, or one of my mother's friends, and they'd have a
2600 which I'd spend a lot of time playing.
As much as I liked the system and its games, I didn't
get a 2600 until my mother met my stepfather... in 1984,
believe it or not. Most people consider this to be
the year that video games nearly died, but the hobby
couldn't have been more alive for me when I found a 2600
and a small handful of games in my stepfather's
basement. I must have spent hours just reading the
instruction booklets and comics that came with each of
the games, and when I finally hooked up the system...
wow. A black hole couldn't have pulled me away
from the television set, even when I was playing the
2600 version of Pac-Man. Sure, the game was a
lousy translation, but you've got to admit, it's still
an improvement over what I had been playing on the
Odyssey2.
I started collecting 2600 games on the day my mom and
stepdad married. I remember this pretty well
because my stepdad let me buy a copy of Pressure Cooker
at the local Meijer's (yes, I remember the marriage
too. Geez...). Pressure Cooker isn't one of
Activision's best remembered games, but it should be...
I loved the game's peppy soundtrack, detailed artwork,
and fast action. Unlike its closest relative
Tapper, Pressure Cooker had a little more flame-broiled
meat on its bones... it took both careful thought and
reflexes to put those burgers together properly.
My next big purchase was Star Raiders, which I got a
lot of mileage (light years?) out of despite the
complicated controls. The fact that it included a
small comic book starring the Atari Force added to its
appeal as well... for about a year my first concern when
I bought a new Atari game was not the game itself, but
the Atari Force adventure inside. After all, there
was a half hour seperating the department store from our
house, and I needed something to keep myself entertained
for that trip. Even if it was too dark to read the
comic, I'd just wait until I got home, then dig through
the box to find it. That conversion of Galaxian could
wait... I had to know what happened to Martin Champion
and his crew now, now, now!
Those adventures just stopped around 1987, when the
Tramiels ran out of their five year old backstock of
Atari games. Fortunately, there was a new demand
for video games thanks to the Nintendo Entertainment
System, prompting Atari to reprint their best old games
as well as make great new ones. It bothered me a
little that the Atari Force comics disappeared, and that
the new instruction booklets were printed in black and
white and folded out like maps (geez, Jack, an
industrial stapling machine can't be THAT expensive...),
but once I started playing games like Ms. Pac-Man and
Joust, it didn't matter that much. Champion took a
back seat to the actual games, as well he should... now
all I was interested in was getting as many 2600
cartridges as possible.
Some of my friends felt the same way, because even
though the Nintendo Entertainment System was getting
more and more popular, none of us could afford it.
One of the best things about the resurrection of the
2600 in the late 80's was that it allowed everybody to
get back into video games even if they didn't have
hundreds of dollars to spend on a new system... chances
are, they could find a 2600 in their basement just like
I did, and play great new games with it that were every
bit as fun as more expensive releases on the NES.
I remember one Christmas when my parents were in a
financial crunch... they could only afford to buy me a
few 2600 games, but I was just as happy with Crystal
Castles and Ms. Pac-Man as I would have been with a
Nintendo Entertainment System.
Eventually, I was able to buy an NES, and I loved
it... but I didn't stop collecting games for my
2600. Some were new titles like the terrific
Winter Games (which buried the lousy NES version in an
avalanche of addictive gameplay and more events), and
others were ancient releases like Worm War I that I'd
borrowed from friends or picked up at yard sales.
I did start losing interest in the 2600 when I sold my
NES and purchased a Genesis in 1991... but when the
dollar stores in malls started stocking Atari games like
Jr. Pac-Man, Midnight Magic, and Solaris, I just had to
buy a few. When I returned home, it was like I'd
driven through a time warp that led me right back to
1984... even with the Genesis around, I was still
playing my 2600. Who could blame me? The
spectacular Solaris at one dollar was a much better deal
than Ecco the Dolphin was at fifty.
Even after the dollar stores were tapped of supplies,
I still bought and played 2600 games from time to
time... partially because the fanzine Digital Press had
kept my interest in the system alive, but also because I
was curious about the games I hadn't yet played.
Was Bermuda Triangle by Data Age really that bad?
What's Donkey Kong doing in this game about a
biplane? How did CBS's translations of Omega Race
and Wizard of Wor compare to the arcade versions?
And finally, what the heck kind of game could you get
from sending in the UPC symbols from three bags of dog
food? I had search through a variety of pawn shops
to find the answers to these questions, but I eventually
did benefit from this hard work. Not only did I
learn a lot more about the 2600, I wound up with dozens
of games that were fun and, in the case of Chase the
Chuckwagon, very profitable.
This also led to the creation of The 26 Hunter.
Back in 1996, the Internet didn't have the amount of
information about older systems that it does now, and I
thought that I could help fill that gap by reviewing a
handful of my best finds, answering some of the
questions less experienced 2600 fans had about the
games. These days, information about these games,
as well as many others, is easy to find on sites like
Atari Age and Digital Press' online counterpart, so The
26 Hunter isn't the valuable reference it may have been
several years ago. Nevertheless, I still want to
keep it around, if only as a tribute to a system that's
held strong for two decades in a fickle industry that's
swept away dozens of competitors and successors.
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TURMOIL |
 
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20th CENTURY
FOX |
SIRIUS
SOFTWARE |
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SHOOTER |
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ATARI
2600 |
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Turmoil's sole aspiration in life is to be the
quintessential early 80s shooter. It's got the
unique hook... you're sandwiched between two sets
of horizontal chutes teeming with deadly
spaceships. It's got the wide variety of foes...
each one's got its own plan of attack and
vulnerability. It's got gameplay that starts out
slow but steadily turns up the heat as you play.
However, what it doesn't have is the
addictiveness that makes the best games in the
genre difficult to put down and impossible to
forget. It's not due to a lack of effort on
designer Mark Turmell's part... he's got all the bases
covered, from the responsive control to the vibrant
graphics. Unfortunately, it's the underlying
concept that comes up short. Because they're
trapped in the chutes, the enemies have a limited
range of motion, making them more predictable than the
frantic flippers in Tempest or the wily white saucers in
Beamrider. Worse yet, they're just not aggressive
enough or smart enough or well-armed enough to make you
sweat until the later stages, where their sheer
number makes survival an impossibility. The lack
of challenge in the first few stages, followed by the
brick wall you hit in the later ones, makes the game
less of a turmoil than a malaise.
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OUT OF
CONTROL |
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AVALON
HILL |
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ACTION |
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ATARI
2600 |
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This little-seen Avalon Hill release combines the
time-based slaloming of Activision's Sky Jinks with the
careful thrusting of Atari arcade hits like Lunar Lander
and Asteroids. You've got to weave through a
series of space buoys, pop a dozen randomly placed space
balloons, then park your space ship inside a space
station, where you can take a break at the space diner
and get yourself the space soup or the space
special. Hint... don't order the space
special. Joking aside, Out of
Control doesn't look or sound like anything
special. The color striping and stunning
background details of Activision's best games are
nowhere to be found here, and the stark silence of outer
space is broken only by the blast of your thrusters
and a harsh buzz whenever you bump into a space
buoy. However, if you can get past
the bland aesthetics, Out of Control is a
fairly enjoyable experience... and that's more than you
can say about most Avalon Hill games!
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DEATH
TRAP |
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AVALON
HILL |
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SHOOTER |
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ATARI
2600 |
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Avalon Hill tries to bring a new twist to an Atari
2600 classic, without much success. Thanks to the
awkward title screen, Death Trap is even hard to
start... and it doesn't get much better from
there. You've got to take out targets
perched behind a series of laser walls, but the walls
actually increase in strength every time a cannon is
blasted, making the colorful barriers more and more
difficult to penetrate. Unlike Yar's Revenge,
which only took a single well-timed shot to bring down
the Quotile, each cannon takes an absurd amount of
damage to destroy, needlessly drawing out the action and
turning the gameplay into a long and repetitive
chore. Just when you think you're on the edge of
victory, ANOTHER cannon pops up to take the place of the
ones you just vaporized! What does this stupid
trap kill you with anyway, lethal doses of boredom?!
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GAUNTLET |
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ANSWER |
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ACTION |
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ATARI
2600 |
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In real life, the path to manhood is paved with
breaking voices and hair in weird places, but here, it's
filled with flying tomahawks, razor-sharp arrows, and
piles of stones. You'll have to endure all of
these threats and more to snuff out the ceremonial
torches and prove your worth to the rest of the
tribe. Well, enough of the plot. What this
game boils down to is racing through a forest trail with
a jug tucked under your arm. You can slide under
the arrows and leap over the stones to protect yourself
and preserve your limited supply of water, but it's so
hard to tell if you'll clear these
obstacles that you're better off running
around them. The graphics aren't too
shabby, resembling a more earthy River Raid,
but it's the dull, slightly sluggish gameplay that
brings a premature end to this woodland adventure.
Eh, manhood is overrated anyway.
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MISSION 3000
A.D. |
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BIT
CORPORATION |
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SHOOTER |
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ATARI
2600 |
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Some things just shouldn't be. You know, like
three legged ducks, or two headed turtles, or The
Price is Right hosted by Rosie O'Donnell. This is
just another one of those affronts to nature; an
overreaching conversion of Bosconian for the Atari
2600. Bosconian was one of the lesser-known games
from the Namco hit machine of the early 1980s; a
search and destroy mission set in the depths of
space. On the 2600, however, it's a
seizure-inducing dogpile of flickery, eternally
confused enemies. They stumble around the screen
blindly, hoping to collide with the player... and
often do in the later stages, where they become too
fast and numerous to avoid. Bit Corporation
gets points for ambition, but the futility
of porting such an advanced arcade game
to 1970s technology doomed this mission to
failure.
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ASSAULT |
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BOMB |
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SHOOTER |
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ATARI
2600 |
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Whoa, whoa, whoa... what the hell is this crap?
Who made this, anyway? Was it you? It
was you, wasn't it? Get over here, you
little prick... you and I are going to have a little
talk! First, if you're going to perch a gigantic
UFO at the top of the screen, you damn well better make
sure the player can actually destroy it. You can't
just dangle a target like that over a gamer's head like
some carrot on a stick, only to constantly deny them the
chance to blow it to bits! Next order of
business... don't stick the player with an overheat
meter if they can't fire more than one missile at a
time. That's a play mechanic designed to keep
players from spamming chain guns and other rapid-fire
weapons. It's got no place in a shooter as sedate
as this one. One more thing. If you're going
to steal so many ideas from Demon Attack, would it kill
you to at least TRY to make some
improvements? When you've got a system as choked
with shooters as the Atari 2600, you've got to make
yours stand out from all the others, not use one of the
most popular ones as a crutch. No, those stupid
side-mounted cannons don't help! You only use them
once every four rounds! Now get back in your
cubicle and do this right, damn it!
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GORF |
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CBS
ELECTRONICS |
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SHOOTER |
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ATARI
2600 |
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You tend to be rather particular about home
conversions of the arcade games you loved as a
child. At least, that's the way I feel about
Gorf... heck, I'm not even satisfied with MAME's
emulation of the well-rounded Bally-Midway shooter, some
twenty five years after the game was released!
Obviously, a 2600 version isn't going to meet with my
high standards either, but CBS Electronics did the best
it could with what it had. There's much missing
from this port, but just as much has been faithfully
reproduced, including the player's colorful space ship
and the varied gameplay that made the original more than
just another shooter. There's even the
famous flagship at the end of each mission, and
although it looks like a hypodermic needle and doesn't
break apart when you fire into it, it's still just as
rewarding to sink a shot into the tiny vent leading to
its nuclear core. Well done, CBS! You
haven't captured the full Gorf experience, but you did
get everything that counts.
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MR. DO!'S
CASTLE |
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PARKER
BROS. |
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ACTION |
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ATARI
2600 |
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I love this game! It's the offspring of Lode
Runner and Space Panic, but with the brisk gameplay and
candy-colored visuals that both of its ancestors were
lacking. So why am I not jumping for joy over this
conversion? I could give you a whole bunch of
reasons, but here are the most important ones.
First, Mr. Do! seems to have been replaced with a
hyperactive hamster wearing a clown hat. He
shivers like a chihuahua on crack when he runs, and when
he swings his hammer... well, let's just say that it
looks like he's really enjoying his work. That's
pretty disturbing, but what's worse is that Mr. Do!'s
furious masturbation fails to protect him from the
unicorns roaming each stage. You have to be
positioned in juuuust the right spot to dislodge blocks,
and hitting the unicorns with the... er... hammer
results in a quick, puzzling death. Since the
equine predators are as smart as ever but Mr. Do! is
five times as wimpy, you can guarantee that you won't be
making much progress, or having much fun.
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CAKEWALK |
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COMMAVID |
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ACTION |
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ATARI
2600 |
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If there's one thing this game isn't, it's a
cakewalk! As a lanky pastry chef, you've got to
catch freshly baked desserts rolling down a series of
conveyor belts. These range from ornate three
layer wedding cakes to animated gingerbread men who
aren't too thrilled with the prospect of being shipped
off to hungry kids. Things get pretty frantic when
the belts are switched to Lucy speed, but you've got one
ace up your sleeve... one of the belts can be
temporarily stopped, giving you a chance to catch cakes
that would otherwise find their way to the floor.
Even with this advantage, you're going to find yourself
making a lot of messes... unlike Pressure Cooker or
Tapper, which always gave you a way out of a desperate
situation, Cakewalk tends to keep the treats at such a
distance from each other that you can't possibly rescue
them all. Luckily, the excellent graphics
(including a tiny janitor who sweeps away your mistakes)
make it tough to complain when the game starts playing
dirty.
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ROOM OF
DOOM |
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COMMAVID |
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SHOOTER |
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ATARI
2600 |
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Here's a deliciously sadistic concept! You're
trapped inside a cramped room filled with dangerous
beasts and whirling blades. However, what's inside
the room isn't quite as threatening as what's
outside it. Windows in the walls slide
open to reveal snipers eager to use you as target
practice. Your only hope for survival is to fire a
few shots of your own into the windows before they
close, nailing the snipers before they can draw a bead
on you. It's an idea that's almost as good in
practice as it is in theory, but there are two things
holding it back. The first is that the graphics
and sound really suck. Your hero looks like the
spawn of the Bic mascot and the Pillsbury Dough Boy, and
those dangerous animals mentioned earlier never get more
intimidating than that sickly iguana at the local
pet store. Rather than bursts of gunfire and loud,
jaw-rattling explosions, you're served up a random
assortment of stock sound effects that don't really fit
the context of the game. Oh yeah, then there's
that other thing... mind-numbing repetition. Once
you've seen the first three rooms, you've seen them
all. The snipers never get any smarter and there
aren't any surprises to keep you on the edge of your
seat; just new sprites for the hungry monsters.
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TRON: DEADLY
DISCS |
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M NETWORK |
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ACTION/SHOOTER |
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ATARI
2600 |
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The Intellivision favorite comes to the Atari 2600,
faster and easier to play than ever... yet also more
boring. Could the blame lie with the unappealing
visuals, consisting of dumbed down Running Men
pasted on a plain grey box? Could it be the
lack of variety in the enemies? Rather than
several kinds of rogue programs, each with a different
level of artificial intelligence and resistance to
attack, you get an endless wave of digital dummies who
fall with a single strike of your disc. Could it
be the greatly simplified battle system? You can't
shield yourself with your flourescent frisbee like
you could in the film... your only option is to
attack. Could it be the omission of the towering
Recognizer, which marked the end of each stage and
added extra challenge to the gameplay in the
Intellivision version? Whatever it is, you won't
be able to shake the feeling that you're getting cheated
out of the full Deadly Discs experience, including much
of the fun.
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MEGAMANIA |
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ACTIVISION |
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SHOOTER |
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ATARI
2600 |
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Hostile hamburgers? Belligerant bowties?
Sinister steam irons? It can only be Megamania,
the first shooter with the guts to poke fun at the genre
and the best game of its kind on the Atari 2600.
Long before Paradious, Game Paradise, or the dreaded Cho
Aniki, Megamania was making gamers laugh with the
wackiest foes in the universe, while testing their
skills with mesmerizing flight patterns that were
hard to survive and even tougher to outsmart.
Twenty five years later, the game is every bit as
awesome as it was in the early 1980s... even if the
visuals are a notch below the usual Activision
output. All that detail went into the 5200 version
of Megamania, but the lightning-fast action is right
here, baby! You'll pick off dancing formations of
radial tires and diamond rings, struggling
to annihilate the unlikely foes before your fuel
supply runs dry. Then once those nasty irons
steamclean your clock and you've run out of lives,
you'll scramble for the reset button and another chance
to play... because with Megamania, once is never
enough!
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QB |
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ANDREW
DAVIES |
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PUZZLE/ACTION |
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ATARI
2600 |
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Before I begin, I'd like to apologize for
waiting so long to cover homebrew games like QB in The
Gameroom Blitz. In the last five years, video game
fans have designed, programmed, and published dozens of
software titles for older systems like the ColecoVision,
Vectrex, and of course, the 2600. This takes a
whole lot of hard work, because they not only have to
program in machine code on a console with a lot of
hardware limitations, they don't have access to the
official documentation and development systems the major
game companies of the early 80's were able to use.
Despite this handicap, a lot of these new games are
surprisingly good... sometimes even better than the
games professional designers were PAID to create back in
1983.
I've played a lot of these user designed
games, and in my opinion, Andrew Davies' QB is the best
of the homebrews for the 2600. Sure, This Planet
Sucks is more colorful, and Oystron has better special
effects, but QB's play mechanics are more original...
you don't see many puzzle games on the 2600, and you
don't see many puzzle games for ANY system that aren't
Tetris or Columns clones.
As the name suggests, QB plays a
little like Gottlieb's Q*Bert, but there's a little
inspiration from Locomotion as well. Your
character has to arrange tiles in a room to match the
pattern on the right hand side of the screen. Like
Q*Bert, he can leap from tile to tile, but QB can also
slide tiles around if there's no place for him to jump
(a little like Locomotion). You'll have to come up
with the best combination of sliding and jumping to
finish the pattern, because if you're not careful you
could put a tile in the proper place, but isolate it
from the others which still need to be moved
around. Also, there's a time limit on each
pattern... if you spend too much time thinking and not
enough moving, a new random pattern will be chosen,
spoiling your work (this can be very frustrating if
you've got just one tile to move into place, but can
also help you if you can't figure out how to finish the
pattern).
As you'd expect, the game's got both items
to collect and enemies to avoid, and there's a good
variety of both. Fruit will hatch out of the eggs
that magically appear on the playfield (whoa, surreal!),
and if you get the right combination, you'll earn an
extra life. Beware, though... the eggs may also
contain bad guys who serve the dual purpose of hunting
you down and moving the tiles. The timid bunnies
are no problem, but the squid's a bit more tricky, and
that bloodthirsty flame is more aggressive than the
first two combined. All three can be sprung off
the playfield with the fire button, but you have to get
in close to use it, and it does devour your points
pretty quickly.
With regards to the game's overall
quality, I think QB compares favorably to the better
2600 games released in 1983, although I wouldn't go nuts
and pit it against the truly incredible titles released
for the VCS in the late 80's (heck, some NES
games weren't as good as Solaris and Midnight
Magic!). The graphics are alternately functional
and fantastic... the tiles are, well, flat colored
squares, but the fruit looks tempting (which is saying a
lot from a guy who doesn't eat much fruit) and the main
character, whatever he is, is very well detailed and
animated... he'll even blink from time to time if he's
standing still. As for sound, well, there isn't
much in the game, but that's probably a wise decision on
Mr. Davies' part... I don't know how well the 2600's
raw, harsh sound output would have worked with a cute
game like this. Finally, there's the gameplay,
which is entirely on target... except for attacking
enemies. You have to aim for the hostile hopper
with the joystick while pressing fire, meaning that
you'll leap right at him. Usually, the bad guy is
tossed off the board, but if not...
The most exciting part about QB is that I had some
(small) influence on the project... I tried the betas
and sent Andrew Davies a letter about what I thought
could have been improved (in early versions of the game
enemies could be thrown from the board even if you were
nowhere near them, and extra lives were too easy to
earn). Instead of ignoring me, Andrew actually
replied to my letter and considered some of my
suggestions! Andrew had already made QB great, but
his responding to peoples' constructive criticism
without being hostile makes him great as
well.
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SCUBA
DIVER |
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VARIOUS
PUBLISHERS |
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ACTION...? |
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ATARI
2600 |
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Russ's worst
nightmare... |
How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...
1) BAD START
The first screen requires that you jump into the
water and harpoon the three fish swimming about.
The problem? You can't control the diver for a
couple seconds, so even though it may have LOOKED safe
to jump in, it won't be by the time you get your control
back. Plan on dying a lot, unless you're smart
enough to turn the game off right away and play
something better (may I recommend Adventure?).
2) BAD COLLISION DETECTION
Okay, let's say that by some stroke of fate you
survived your jump into the water. Now you've got
to harpoon some fish. Don't think that's going to
be easy! You see, you can be pretty far from a
fish, but it's close enough to register as a
death. Okay, so dodging isn't going to work.
Try shooting quickly. Well, that's not going to
work either, because to make up for the bad collision
detection one way, they make it almost impossible to hit
the fish. Although you'll die if you merely swim
in the wake around the fish, a harpoon to the fin will
have no effect other than make sure you get eaten before
you can reload. But I have found one way to avoid
the bad collision detection -- turn the game off and
play something good instead (may I recommend Taz?).
3) BAD IDEA OF A CHALLENGE
On the off chance you stuck with the game enough to
start harpooning fish, you'll notice a couple
things. First, you have to actually reel the damn
things in, and since you have to clear all three out
before you can progress to the second screen, you'll
really hate when more fish reappear before you can even
get to the next one. You'll hate missing, since
another fish will kill you before you can move or fire
again. You'll hate the way the shark will chase
you into a corner or another fish while trying to get
set up so as NOT to miss. You really can't fulfill
your goal very easily. Unless of course your goal
is to play a good game, in which case you simply need to
take Scuba Diver out and put a decent game in (may I
recommend Quadrun?).
4) BAD PORTING
At least with the Sancho version, which is PAL format
and therefore has 100 more scanlines and so a deeper
screen, you can move around a LITTLE to avoid the
fish. Not so in the NTSC versions by Panda &
Froggo -- to get the same game screen to fit the smaller
NTSC screen, they just hacked out some of the vertical
depth, which means you can't get away from the fish,
unless of course you play something more worthwhile
instead (may I recommend Tapper?).
5) BAD IDEA
Okay, let's assume you were stubborn enough or stupid
enough to keep playing until you were able to harpoon
all three fish, and get into the galleon at the
bottom. Now you get to play the second
screen. It's a simple maze, and again you get
three creatures, only this time you must avoid them, as
they can't be harpooned. You need to dodge them
and work through the maze to pick up three treasures,
then go back to the top to go out the galleon and swim
up to your boat. But, the maze is "sticky", and
you can get stuck against the walls while your oxygen
supply (oh, I didn't mention that before? that's
because you rarely live long enough that it matters)
runs down. Who thought this was a good idea?
If there was ANY fun whatsoever in this game, it
disappears at this point. And on the off chance
you didn't get stuck, managed to avoid the monsters, and
got the treasures, rest assured that the fish are back
to prevent you from ever reaching your boat. Now,
if you've gotten this far by yourself, nothing I can say
will matter, and perhaps you're actually enjoying it,
but I really think there are better ways to spend your
time (may I recommend a psychiatrist?).
<><>) BAD THINGS BE UPON YOU...
Hopefully the gods have already punished those
responsible...
PLAYING TIPS:
Don't go near this atrocity. Life's too fucking
short. Dammit Jess, why did you make me play this
horrible game again?
I feel so dirty...
(Ed: Geez, Russ, aren't you being a little
melodramatic? Let me play Scuba Diver for a while
and... wait a minute, you're right! I got dibs on
the shower after you're done.)
|
|
|
BEAMRIDER |
|
|
ACTIVISION |
DAVID
ROLPHE |
|
SHOOTER |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
You don't usually think of 2600
games as being intense, but this one... oh, man.
Give it a few rounds and you'll be sweating bullets,
desperately fighting to stay alive against an
endless assault of aliens, bullets, and
meteors. Beamrider plays a little like Tempest,
but the enemies are a whole lot smarter, dancing around
your shots and pelting you with their own before quickly
retreating back to the horizon. Don't take that
breath just yet, though. There are plenty of other
obstacles raining down on you which block your
fire and restrict your movement, making a tough game
even more demanding. Beamrider on the 2600 may not
look as polished as the other versions of the game, but
that's to be expected... they were all released for more
powerful systems. What's important is that the
gameplay is just as good- and intense!- on the 2600 as
it is anywhere else.
|
|
|
CRACK'ED |
|
|
ATARI |
|
|
SHOOTER |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
If you're tired of blasting birds
in those other gun games, give this one a shot.
Crack'ed lets you play mother hen to several nests
filled with rare eggs. Those nests won't stay full
for long, though... the rare eggs also happen to be
quite delicious, and all different kinds of animals will
do whatever it takes to feast on them. You're
better off blasting the critters before they reach the
nests, but if one sneaks past you and carries away an
egg, you can get it back by picking off the thief and
catching their cargo before it falls to the
ground. Crack'ed may not look as pretty
as most NES light gun games (and you can't
even play it with a light gun!), but it does have the
advantage of being more complex, and the graphics are
pretty detailed by 2600 standards.
|
|
|
SAVE THE
WHALES |
|
|
20TH CENTURY
FOX |
|
|
SHOOTER |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
When even the notoriously
underachieving 20th Century Fox refuses to release a
game, you know it's got to be awful. Turn Space
Invaders upsidedown, shake it vigorously so that all the
fun falls out, then put the player on the side of the
aliens, and you've got a pretty good idea of what Save
the Whales is like. You've got to protect a pod of
whales from a ship armed with nets... nets that somehow
cause the grinning cetaceans to explode on
contact. The graphics are good enough, but the
rest of the game is not... the nets launched at the
whales always manage to reach their targets while
slipping past your bullets. It won't be long
before you're up to your neck in ambergris, and there's
not a thing you can do to prevent it. Actually,
there is one thing you can do to prevent the
senseless slaughter of these majestic creatures... just
play something else, and they'll all be fine.
|
|
|
PICK
UP |
|
|
20TH CENTURY
FOX |
|
|
SHOOTER |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Before Joe Millionaire and Mr.
Personality, there was Pick Up. Oh wait, no there
wasn't! 20th Century Fox still had some of its
dignity left in the early 80's and decided to pass on
releasing this viscivious video game. In Pick
Up, you aim to satisfy your manly urges by
collecting what a girl wants (by shooting at it...?),
then luring the nearest comely lass to a hotel.
You can guess what comes next... in fact, you'll have
to, because Fox draws the curtains in the love shack
shortly after you and your girlfriend walk in, leaving
the encounter to your imagination. The
biggest letdown of all is that Pick Up is only
marginally more entertaining than other sexually
suggestive 2600 games. Your targets become
frustrating obstacles after you've fired at them... nick
them again with a bullet and you'll lose a life.
You can't take your time to fire, either, because
specific items will start to flash, once again costing
you a life if you take too long to line up a shot.
You're a lot better off playing Megamania... it may not
give you the opportunity to nail pretty women, but
it's much more satisfying... and you've got to
admit, it features a really phallic ship.
|
|
|
POLARIS |
|
|
TIGERVISION |
|
|
SHOOTER |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Get those bad Sean Connery accents
ready, folks, 'cuz it's time to take a trip to the
bottom of the ocean in a high powered, constantly
hunted submarine. It's your job to
keep the sub seaworthy amidst a swarm of slow
moving, bomb dropping airplanes. Knock them out of
the sky and a faster, smarter jet arrives, diving
around your shots and unleashing deadly accurate
guided missiles. If this intense battle ends in
your favor, you'll then navigate through an underwater
passageway strangely reminescent of the mesas in Raiders
of the Lost Ark, blasting neon colored mines on your way
to the next confrontation. You'll be surprised at
how well all this turned out on the 2600... the ships
are a little chunky and the sound effects are pretty
irritating, but the gameplay's smooth and responsive,
and the whole nuclear-powered package is more complex
than your average 2600 shooter.
|
|
|
PORKY'S |
|
|
20TH CENTURY
FOX |
|
|
ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
You have to wonder why this game
was released instead of its far superior
ColecoVision counterpart. Sure, the rounds and the
basic gameplay are the same, but the gap in quality
is even wider than the enormous pond the main character
has to pole vault across to reach the greasy spoon he
intends to blow up. The only advantage the 2600
game has is that this round is a lot easier
than it is in the ColecoVision prototype... however, the
three remaining rounds are much, much harder, with
ladders that are almost impossible to climb when you
need them most and rampaging enemies that are
guaranteed to break, or should I say brick, your
balls. It's understandable that the graphics and
sound in the ColecoVision game are light years ahead
ahead of Porky's on the 2600, but why on Earth does the
GAMEPLAY in the 2600 version have to be so
awful?
|
|
|
SPRINGER |
|
|
TIGERVISION |
|
|
PLATFORM |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Silly rabbit, sucking is for
Acclaim! This could actually have been a fun
platformer in the tradition of Donkey Kong if it hadn't
been for the ghastly level design. I'm totally
convinced that the first level- the FIRST level!- is
impossible to complete because the platforms are spaced
too far apart. You can stand on the very edge of
any given platform, leap for the next, and still miss,
even though the path you tried to take was the only
possible way to reach the top of the screen. If
the designers had bothered to make sure that the rounds
could actually be FINISHED, Springer would have been an
acceptable translation of the Orca coin-op, even with
the lackluster graphics. Since they
didn't, it's better that you forget about Springer
and satisfy your furry platforming needs with a game of
Kangaroo instead.
|
|
|
PICNIC |
|
|
US GAMES |
|
|
ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
I've listened to Digital Press (in
both its print and online forms) rant and rave
about how horrible this game was, so I just had to try
it myself and find out if it really was the worst thing
to happen to happen to picnics since spoiled
mayonnaise. It really isn't, but after bouncing a
small army of flies into a flashing box for what seemed
like an eternity, I can understand why Joe Santulli and
his staff desperately wanted to see all their copies of
Picnic carried away by large, badly drawn insects.
The game doesn't even make sense at first, but once you
know how to deal with the flies, it starts to pick up...
well, a little, anyway. It's cool that the
designers tried something different with this game, and
I liked the fact that there's a boss fly at the end of
each round, but Picnic just isn't complex enough to be
truly enjoyable. If you could actually interact
with the flies somehow while they're bouncing around the
screen, that would have made Picnic a lot more fun and
exciting.
|
|
|
WIZARD OF
WOR |
|
|
CBS |
|
|
ACTION/MAZE |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
I've given Wizard of Wor a high
rating because it's a solid conversion of an
excellent arcade title... but to be perfectly honest, I
have mixed feelings about this particular version of the
game. It's flickery beyond belief, the characters
are both dully colored and blocky, and all of the text
messages were removed. Even on the 2600, I have to
believe that a better translation of Wizard of Wor could
have been possible. On the plus side, the game
plays really well and gets just as intense as the better
versions available on the 5200 and Bally Astrocade...
and you can even play with a friend, a luxury that many
gamers had to do without when arcade titles
were converted to the more powerful NES.
|
|
|
FRANKENSTEIN'S
MONSTER |
|
|
DATA AGE |
|
|
PUZZLE/ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Although I must admit that this is
better than any of Data Age's other releases,
Frankenstein's Monster is still lacking in several
critical areas. With only one three story screen, FM
isn't nearly as varied as its obvious inspiration
Pitfall!, and the frustrating gameplay is a minus as
well... spiders drop from the ceiling of the basement
floor without warning, often ruining otherwise
perfectly-timed jumps, and wading through the hordes of
bat-like creatures on your way to Frankenstein himself
becomes tiresome quickly. The graphics are fair (and
appropriately creepy) and the sound effects are
tolerable (which is a miracle in itself considering that
this is a Data Age title), but I still wouldn't
recommend this over either of David Crane's Pitfall!
adventures.
|
|
|
CRYSTAL
CASTLES |
|
|
ATARI |
|
|
ACTION/MAZE |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
You couldn't expect an arcade-perfect
translation of this complex isometric maze game on the
2600, but you've got to give the designers credit for
trying... This certainly feels like the coin-op,
and the title character (who scores high on the cute
meter, a big plus for me) scurries around almost as if
you're controlling him with a trackball. The mazes are
blocky, and there's a lot of flicker, but that's
forgivable since there are so many rounds and the
characters are so nicely detailed (especially the gem
eaters! Wow!). The play mechanics are pretty complex for
a 2600 game, too, which is always a plus. HIGHLY
recommended.
|
|
|
CONGO
BONGO |
|
|
SEGA |
|
|
PLATFORM |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Another terrific arcade translation,
this time by the folks at Sega. There's only two rounds,
but both of them are so well done that you probably
won't miss Rhino Ridge (which was incredibly frustrating
on the ColecoVision anyways). And oh, the second round's
been changed to accommodate the 2600's limitations (it's
not isometric like the first round and plays a little
more like Frogger), but the programmers made up for this
by making it breathtakingly colorful. And did I mention
the solid control and cute end-of-level intermission
that were both missing from the ColecoVision version?
Well, I did now. In any case, this is worth
having.
|
|
|
TAPE
WORM |
|
|
SPECTRAVISION |
|
|
ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Unpleasant name aside, this is just
your ordinary, average eat the dots and don't run into
your tail style of game that was overdone on PCs in the
early 80's. It's pretty weak in comparison to games like
it, with poor graphics and enemies that pop out of
nowhere and are nearly impossible to avoid, but at least
there are various fruits at the conclusion of each round
(unlike a certain crappy Pac-Man translation for the
2600 that I need not mention here). Pretty unsatisfying
and/or annoying otherwise.
|
|
|
CRYPTS OF
CHAOS |
|
|
20TH CENTURY
FOX |
|
|
ROLE-PLAYING |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
It's an RPG... on the 2600!? Really.
There's hit points, magic, and sword-fighting all rolled
into one little package, but the problem is that it's
anything but a neat little package... in fact, it
rarely makes any sense at all. You just walk down a
blocky 3-D corridor, fight off strange creatures, and
switch from one menu option to the other until you reach
a wall or the corridor you're in changes colors.
Stranger still, there are never any doors at the sides
of the screen as is the case with every other game of
its kind, and you can only turn 180 degrees as a result
of this. True, there's only so much a 2600 can do, but
let's face it, an RPG without the all-important aspect
of exploration is like a refrigerator without freon
coils. If you've gotta have a relatively complex 2600
game with a Doom-like perspective, buy a SuperCharger
and Escape from the Mindmaster instead.
|
|
|
CHASE THE
CHUCKWAGON |
|
|
SPECTRAVISION |
|
|
ACTION/MAZE |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
It can only be called ironic when the game that
everyone in this hobby desperately wants is considered
to be one of the worst 2600 titles ever released. Maybe
it's because I purchased my copy for a buck at a local
pawn shop (when the current asking rate among collectors
is $200 or more! >:), but I don't consider the game
to be terrible. It's better than Todd Fry's
miserable translation of Pac-Man, with less flickery
characters and more attractive colors, although the
graphics are far from the best you'll find on the
system. The orange checkers on the chuckwagon flicker
like mad (which is especially strange since it's a
stationary object), and although the title character is
easily recognizable as a dog (it looks more like Spuds
MacKenzie than the mutt in the Chuckwagon dog food ads,
though), the persuing dog catcher has all the detail of
your average stick figure, and the bouncing objects in
the maze won't win any awards, either. And oh, the
gameplay is pretty simplistic, too... you just navigate
mazes, avoid anything that moves, reach the chuckwagon,
and stop psychadelic dishes of food next to your dog's
feet in a cheesy bonus round that kinda sorta breaks up
the extreme monotony of the other rounds. So, Chase the
Chuckwagon is nothing special, but it's worth picking up
anyways... for obvious reasons.
|
|
|
REVENGE... BEEFSTEAK
TOMATOES |
|
|
VARIOUS
PUBLISHERS |
|
|
ACTION...? |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Sorry, ladies, no George Clooney here. That would be
Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes... Anyways, all
you get here is a simplistic shooting contest in which
you must spray pesticides on evil tomatoes and build
walls over shrapnel-firing tomato plants. The game is
incredibly cheap on the harder levels, as tomatoes zip
from side to side at such a speed that they're almost
impossible to dodge, and a real snooze in the practice
mode, which gives you infinite lives and no incentive
for continuing after the second round. The final nail in
Beefsteak's coffin is Fox's soulless presentation... the
programming was done without a hint of flair or
personality, making this about as fun as eating (tomato)
paste.
|
|
|
MINES OF
MINOS |
|
|
COMMAVID |
|
|
ACTION/MAZE |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Ugh! As bad as Revenge of the Beefsteak Tomatoes was,
this is far, far worse. You take the controls of a
bow-legged robot which must locate and assemble the
scattered pieces of another equally ridiculous mech, all
while avoiding or bombing the hell out of a cast of
unrelenting foes. It's ugly, slow, and mind-numbingly
boring, to say nothing of frustrating when the enemies
pick up speed and the maze fills with water. The fact
that eliminated foes are replaced with new, more deadly
adversaries is the ONLY redeeming aspect of this
intolerable mess.
|
|
|
PHOENIX |
|
|
ATARI |
|
|
SHOOTER |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Call me a blasphemous heathen, but I actually
prefer this to Imagic's Demon Attack. Sure, Demon
Attack has flashier graphics, but blasting the same
three aliens over and over and over, as colorful as they
may be, gets old fast. The changing rounds of Pheonix
force players to adopt new strategies to win, and the
enormous boss ship at the conclusion of each level makes
all the difference to me. This confrontation isn't as
exciting as the one in the arcade original, but what's
important is that it's there.
|
|
|
SKATEBOARDIN' |
|
|
ABSOLUTE |
|
|
SPORTS/ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
This kind of reminds me of an elevated side-view
version of Pitfall! on a skateboard. The big difference
is that the playfield is much larger (with a map that
extends in four directions as opposed to Pitfall!'s two)
and instead of collecting treasures, your character must
perform stunts within the alloted time. It's very
difficult to do this- I've only been able to perform
twenty of the thirty stunts in the eight minutes given-
and the music is out of place (it sounds more like
something from an early 60's sitcom than your typical
shredder soundtrack from the late 80's) but
Skateboardin' is still a pretty decent effort,
considering the limitations of the system.
|
|
|
FROSTBITE |
|
|
ACTIVISION |
|
|
ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
This incredibly disappointing Activision release is
sort of a hybrid of Frogger and Q*Bert, and while it's
more attractive than either (well, the 2600 versions of
either, anyways), it's certainly no more enjoyable. As
an Arctic explorer, you must hop on rows of ice floes,
changing the colors of each, to build an igloo which
will eventually protect you from the elements. Canada
geese, Alaskan King crabs, clams, and other things that
would taste great in a chowder patrol the freezing
waters and threaten to push your insipid, er,
intrepid explorer into the deadly drink. And
wouldn't you know it, it's nearly impossible to avoid
being shoved into the ocean by these unassuming threats
once you've built your first igloo. Lovely. The artwork
is pretty decent by 2600 standards (although not by
Activision stardards) but that doesn't change the fact
that the game is unplayably frustrating.
|
|
|
SMURF
RESCUE |
|
|
COLECO |
|
|
PLATFORM |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
The control is a little hard to get the hang of
(since you have to press up to jump, and the joystick
button does nothing), but once you adjust you'll find
that Smurf is one of Coleco's better 2600 titles. The
graphics are blindingly colorful, and there's a nice
difficulty ramp for seasoned players (in fact, it gets a
little too hard after you've saved Smurfette
twice... the enemies all get a turbo boost, and you have
to repeat each round multiple times to move on to the
next one). The tunes are a little rough, but that's a
minor complaint. In fact, rough music is better than the
usual 2600 alternative (no music at all)...
|
|
|
FAST
FOOD |
|
|
TELESYS |
|
|
ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Following the lead of eating machines like Pac-Man,
Ms. Pac-Man, Jr. Pac-Man, Baby Pac-Man, and Super
Pac-Man (oh, and we can't forget Super Pac-Mon,
of course... >:) is Mr. Mouth, the star of Fast Food.
Mr. Mouth, a pair of purple lips (or so the folks at
Telesys would have us believe...), resides in a diner
where the food is delivered air mail. Unfortunately, the
diner also seems to be in poor standing with the FDA as
rotten pickles fill the air as well. In case you hadn't
already guessed, Mr. Mouth must dodge these undigestable
threats while gobbling up everything else that flies
past. It's definitely weird enough to pass as a video
game concept, but the execution of the game
itself leaves much to be desired... Mr. Mouth
looks like a scrambled mess (could drawing a pair of
lips be THAT difficult on the 2600? I don't think
so...), and the food is blocky and sloppily drawn, which
was a huge mistake on the parts of the designers since
with such a simple premise, good artwork was really all
Fast Food had going for it. To its credit, it's a pretty
fast game, but with so little to do you'll still get
tired of it rather quickly. The most fun you could
possibly have with Fast Food is sending it to Rosie
O'Donnell in a box with Donnie Osmond's return address
on the front, since the game proudly announces "You're
Getting Fatter" at the end of each round...
|
|
|
SUPERMAN |
|
|
ATARI |
|
|
ACTION/ADVENTURE |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
If anything could be best described as a side-view
version of 'Adventure', this would be it. Superman has
that unmistakable Adventure feel despite the change in
perspective... the action is centered largely around
dropping and dragging objects, and the artwork (although
slightly more detailed) bears a resemblence to Warren
Robinette's work in the first video game RPG. The
formula just isn't as successful here as it was in
Adventure, however... the background colors were poorly
chosen, and Superman's powers are somewhat
underwhelming. Sure, he can fly, and carries around
everything from Lois Lane to helicoptors with the
greatest of ease, but he never actually gets into fights
with the numerous gun-toting thugs that populate
Metropolis, and his X-ray vision is limited to
previewing screens directly adjacent to him. And that
aside, once you've beaten the game, there's no point in
playing it again except to beat your best times.
|
|
|
M.A.D. |
|
|
US GAMES |
|
|
SHOOTER |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Missile Attack and Defense, eh? The title pretty much
says it all, although there are elements of Atlantis in
this sub-par shooter as well. In it, you must defend
cities (original, huh?) from an unending barrage of
missiles and jets. The attackers fly in a straight
horizontal line, flash briefly, and (if given the
chance) fall to earth, destroying any cities they touch.
You, of course, must intercept the missiles by spraying
them with gunfire, which is easier said than done since
the cannon used for the job is awkward and difficult to
aim. Because of this, your death is guaranteed once the
game speeds up and the screen literally fills with
enemies. This would be tolerable if the game had
striking graphics or bone-jarring explosions, but
unfortunately, neither is the case... the sound effects
are actually pretty irritating, and the character
artwork is (putting it kindly) minimal, with monocolored
foes and a cannon that bears an uncanny resemblence to a
cow pie. Needless to say, I don't recommend this.
|
|
|
DESERT
FALCON |
|
|
ATARI |
|
|
SHOOTER |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Zaxxon fans will be delighted to know that Desert
Falcon is much closer to Sega's arcade classic than
Coleco's own 2600 version of Zaxxon, and the sound is
absolutely astounding. Unfortunately, the gameplay is
severely limited... there's never more than one enemy
onscreen for the majority of the game, and there's no
artificial intelligence to speak of: even the mighty
Sphinx is easily destroyed once you find his soft spot.
The graphics are pretty blocky, too (yes, even by 2600
standards!), but that's offset somewhat by the excellent
animation of the title character (your falcon flaps its
wings with admirable realism, and when it hops along the
ground to pick up items you're instantly reminded of the
crow from those old Warner Bros. cartoons) and the
smoothly scrolling backgrounds. Another point of note:
this is one of the few 2600 games with actual power ups!
Pick up three hieroglyphs in the correct sequence and
you're rewarded with everything from faster shots to
invincibility to a smart bomb (not that this comes in
handy since there are never enough enemies onscreen to
warrant its use...). Each ability is mentioned briefly,
and if necessary, the game will actually instruct you to
double click your fire button to activate it! This
feature is a real lifesaver, especially when you don't
have a copy of the instructions... Anyways, Desert
Falcon is worth the price of admission, if just to hear
your humble 2600 kick out some of the funkiest Egyptian
tunes since Raiders of the Lost Ark. I'd recommend the
7800 version if you want actual gameplay to go with your
great music, though.
|
|
|
RAM
IT |
|
|
TELESYS |
|
|
PUZZLE/SHOOTER |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
What? A competant Telesys game? No way! Yes way.
Believe it or not, Ram It, with its simple graphics and
disturbing title (as I'd mentioned in the opener, it
makes you think of something... well, something else),
is much more entertaining than Squeeze Box by U.S. Games
(the company responsible for such triumphs as Eggomania,
Gopher, and the Cap 'n Crunch line of cereals). In it,
you're at the controls of a small turret strung on a
pole. To your left and right are colorful rows of
bricks, which if left unchecked will grow at an alarming
rate and eventually overwhelm you. You've got to clear
the entire screen of bricks within the time alloted to
complete rounds, but things aren't always that simple...
sometimes, bricks will touch the pole, confining you to
one area of the screen when others desperately need your
attention. These bricks can be destroyed only if they're
flashing, and you can't always count on that to happen
as this is a random and unreliable occurance. Sure,
Squeeze Box had all these elements as well, but much of
its functionality was sacrificed for eyecandy... its
title character was impractically large, ruining the
game's strategic element. Ram It is more of a player's
game... the graphics are simple (yet still attractive),
but the gameplay is more intense, and the control is
sharper, allowing you to line up shots with relative
ease. In other words, Ram It is a fine game that unlike
Squeeze Box is worth the high price it commands.
|
|
|
SKY
SKIPPER |
|
|
PARKER
BROS. |
|
|
ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Never heard of it, eh? Doesn't surprise me. What will
surprise you is the fact that this is based on a
Nintendo coin-op, and one starring the gorilla who first
pestered Mario and later proved that uninspired
Adventure Island rip-offs could become best sellers if
rehashed with purely superficial computer rendered
graphics (what, me bitter?). Donkey Kong doesn't look
much better in Sky Skipper than he did in his first two
2600 games, and sadly, the game itself isn't as
enjoyable as Coleco's VCS primitive translation of
Donkey Kong. If you've played the biplane games in
Combat and Looping for the ColecoVision, you know what
to expect... Donkey Kong's stolen twelve animals and
it's your job to rescue them from his clutches. To do
this, you must first fly over the big ape and stun him
with bombs. Once he's incapacitated, the critters
literally jump for joy, and that's when you swoop down
and collect them, taking care not to crash into the
surrounding walls. With that done, you must fly upwards
(avoiding the clouds in levels 2 and above), take on
Donkey Kong again, and catch six more animals before
your fuel supply is tapped out. Succeed and you're given
a new round, and so on and so forth. Pretty simple
stuff, really, which is especially depressing since the
designers didn't try to hide this fact with incredible
graphics (which these days is anything but a RARE
occurance, so to speak). If you're into all things
Donkey Kong, this won't matter, but I doubt that Sky
Skipper will satisfy anyone else.
|
|
|
BLUEPRINT |
|
|
CBS |
|
|
PUZZLE/ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Don't get me wrong; I like weird games, but this may
be taking things a little too far. In Blueprint, you're
what appears to be a Vaudevillian performer who must
assemble a robot from pieces scattered throughout your
suburban neighborhood in an attempt to destroy what
appears to be a disgruntled California Raisin who's
chasing after your girlfriend. Well, actually, the 5200
version has characters like that... on the 2600, you're
a badly animated stick figure, the robot is a cannon,
and the disgruntled California Raisin looks more like a
plum. Either way, I had a hell of a time trying to
figure out why your character has an eighty year old
fashion sense, why he's allowed to break into everyone
else's homes to find the pieces of his cannon, why he
sometimes finds bombs in these homes, and most
importantly, what your girlfriend did to incense the
plum who relentlessly chases her (perhaps she's Barbara
Mandrell?). Plot aside, the game is pretty easy to
understand... it's a little like Pac-Man but more
cerebral, since you have to remember the location of
each cannon piece to successfully complete rounds. It'd
be a lot of fun too if not for the lackluster graphics,
grating sound effects, and frustrating game play (you're
barely given enough time to mentally store the locations
of the cannon pieces, and if you forget them, you're as
good as dead). It's still not bad by 2600 standards, but
the 5200 and Atari computer Blueprints were far better
executed. Buy them instead if you have the choice.
|
|
|
REACTOR |
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|
PARKER
BROS. |
|
|
ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Reactor is intense, unique, and surprisingly complex,
but the one thing about this game that truly makes it
memorable is its wild heavy metal soundtrack. It's the
kind of music that you'd imagine Beavis and Butthead
playing air guitar and thrashing their oversized heads
to, which is especially ironic since Reactor preceeds
them by nearly a decade. But enough about that. As the
title suggests, you're inside a nuclear reactor that's
constantly bombarded with potentially deadly atomic
particles. To prevent a nuclear disaster, you must shove
these particles into the walls of the reactor with your
atomic steamroller (nani...?) to break them down into
their component parts and eventually destroy them. This
all sounds pretty cut and dry, but unfortunately, the
particles are surprisingly feisty and can destroy you by
forcing you into the walls of the reactor as well.
They're pretty easy to avoid at first, but eliminating
them without being shoved into the deadly reactor walls
takes finesse, and the core will eventually grow to such
a size that you'll be forced to confront the particles
whether you want to or not. However, you do have
limited protection in the form of radioactive decoys.
Plant one of these (preferably near a reactor wall) and
the particles are attracted to it for the remainder of
its halflife, giving you precious time to reorient
yourself and take a breather. Also, there are pins at
the sides of the reactor wall... destroy a set of these
by shoving particles into them and the core shrinks
considerably. And finally, the reactor has pockets which
can trap particles. These are tricky to use effectively
but once a proton or neutron is trapped inside a pocket,
it almost never escapes. You get the point. To put it
succintly, Reactor is the video game equivalent of a
mosh pit... it ain't pretty, the music's too loud, and
you're going to get shoved around a lot, but hey, you
get to do a little shoving back.
|
|
|
PITFALL 2: THE LOST
CAVERNS |
|
|
ACTIVISION |
|
|
PLATFORM |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Everyone who's played this has called it a milestone
in 2600 game design, and from a purely technological
point of view, I'd tend to agree... Pitfall 2 stretches
the system to its limits both visually and musically,
and its incredibly detailed backgrounds are arguably the
best ever on the humble VCS. Still, the game
itself is disappointing. Sure, there's a wider
variety of screens to explore, but Pitfall Harry has
gained only one skill since his last adventure- the
ability to swim- and many of the obstacles that made
Pitfall! really live up to its name, like the mud bogs
and vines, are nowhere to be found here. Also, although
Harry is vulnerable to enemies, he can never really be
killed by them, effectively lessening the element of
danger that made the original so exciting. Despite all
this, Pitfall II is still a recommended purchase, thanks
in large part to its jawdropping graphics and vast,
challenging playfield.
|
|
|
SOLAR
STORM |
|
|
IMAGIC |
|
|
SHOOTER |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Yeesh. Another mediocre blastathon on the 2600. Just
what I needed. What's most disappointing about this mess
is the fact that it was designed by Imagic, the company
responsible for such groundbreaking titles as Demon
Attack and Atlantis. Solar Storm has elements of both
(the perspective is similar to Demon Attack's, and you
must protect your planet from enemies a'la Atlantis),
but the mixture of themes just doesn't work here. Does
it have something to do with the ho-hum graphics? The
prefunctory bonus round? The fact that there's no way to
dodge the enemies' laser blasts? Or Dennis Koble's
insistance on making the game paddle compatible? Well,
whatever it is, the game's not much fun, so pass it
up.
|
|
|
HE-MAN |
|
|
M NETWORK |
|
|
ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Yes, it's based on the cornball Filmation cartoon,
but we won't hold that against it. In fact, the tie-in
with He-Man is part of this otherwise average shooter's
charm... the game greets you with a really neat morphing
sequence loosely based on the one in the cartoon, and if
you're lucky enough to beat Skeletor in a somewhat
anticlimactic end of level confrontation, you're treated
to a huge picture of He-Man standing victorious with his
sword held high. If only the cake were as delicious as
the icing... it's just your basic side-scrolling
shooter, similar to Fox's Mega Force but with better,
less flickery graphics. Once you reach Skeletor's
castle, the perspective changes, and you must now tag
the fiend while deflecting his energy bolts with your
sword and squeezing between the gaps in his twin force
fields. Pretty basic stuff, really, although to the
author's credit it is fairly well done. Bottom
line: He-Man is definitely worth the purchase if you can
find it for a few bucks at a garage sale or pawn shop,
but don't bother with it if you have to order it from a
game dealer or own an Intellivision (as its version of
He-Man is better).
|
|
|
MIDNIGHT
MAGIC |
|
|
ATARI |
|
|
PINBALL |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
How can I pay adequate tribute to a game that is the
definition of what a good pinball simulation should be?
Midnight Magic is absolutely incredible in so many
ways... the playfield, while somewhat simplistic, is
brilliantly designed and wonderfully drawn, the physics
of the ball are amazingly realistic, and the game's
music and sound effects are so advanced that you'd
almost suspect that the programmer himself was a
magician. That's not to say that Midnight Magic is
perfect... the ball is square (just like the one in
Atari's decrepit Video Pinball), there's no tilt
feature, and the game becomes incredibly frustrating in
spots, but when you stop and consider that it's much
more fun than similar games on the Intellivision,
Odyssey2, Astrocade, and even the NES, who cares? If you
love pinball, and even if you can't stand it, Midnight
Magic is a must-have.
|
|
|
SOLAR
FOX |
|
|
CBS |
|
|
ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
It's kind of hard to describe this game without
outlining the plot, so here goes... You're behind the
controls of a small solar-powered star ship from a
planet tapped of its natural resources. You've been
floating aimlessly in space for what seems like
centuries and you're about to give up hope until
suddenly, you run across an enormous cache of energy
pods. You close in, only to be surrounded by heavily
armed fighters which mercilessly pelt you with photon
blasts. They refuse to respond to your communiques, and
you can't fight back as what little energy your ship
uses is diverted solely to its impulse engines. Do you
run like hell and hope that you can make it home in one
piece? No! You stick around and steal as many energy
pods as you can before you're blown to bits, of course!
And one thing's for sure, it ain't easy. Remember those
grade school games of Dodge Ball where you'd stand in
front of a wall and nearly everyone else in the school
would gleefully hurl rock-hard volleyballs at you?
That's what it feels like to play Solar Fox, except you
don't wake up with welts and bruises the next morning.
If you can handle that kind of intensity, by all means
pick this up, but if not...
|
|
|
FROGS 'N
FLIES |
|
|
M NETWORK |
|
|
ACTION |
|
|
ATARI
2600 |
| | |
|
Ahhhh... this is the perfect way to relax after
fraying your nerves with a few games of Solar Fox. The
title pretty much says it all... you compete against a
rival frog (controlled by the player or, after fifteen
seconds of nonuse, the computer) for the flies which
lazily flitter over a picturesque swamp. With the
difficulty switch set to novice, your frog always jumps
in a set arc and can catch nearby flies without your
intervention, but the expert setting (which gives you
complete control over your frog) is much more fun,
especially with two players. The setting is really cool,
too... the scenery's blocky, but it certainly
sounds like you're hanging out at a swamp, with
plenty of chirps, croaks, and (some very realistic)
splashes to go around. The nightfall aspect of play is
equally brilliant, although it's a little disappointing
that the game ends once the sky becomes pitch black (I'm
sure I'm not the only one to have fantasized about
eating the firefly that carries the Game Over banner to
the center of the screen, right?). Anyways, Frogs 'n
Flies is the game for you if you're not particularly
interested in saving the world from aliens for the
17,347th
time.
